It’s 8:00p.m. and I’m stumbling through the door carrying my two year old. She’s sticking to her routine – passing out two blocks from home after chattering for most of the drive. Do I wake her up because I haven’t seen her all day? Do I lay her down and hope she sleeps through the night so I can catch up on house work? Either way, I’m exhausted and tomorrow’s quickly approaching.

I work in the food and beverage industry, so my schedule’s erratic at best. It’s a constant struggle to keep my home functioning, spend time with my family and remain healthy and sane. Some days I manage to pull it all off, and then, there are days that I am lucky if my daughter eats a well balanced dinner of fruit snacks and cheese crackers. Somewhere in there, I’ve had to learn a few hard lessons about the work-life balance. When I came face-to-face with these realities, I began to relax and enjoy the chaos.

1. Have a support team.

It takes a village. No one expects you to do it all, all the time. Surround yourself with people who are willing to give you a hand and a hug when you need it. And, for Pete’s and your sake, ask for help when you need it. 

2. Sometimes doing nothing is doing something.

Neglect the to do list from time-to-time. If you don’t make it a priority to watch TV, paint your nails, read a magazine, or sit and do absolutely nothing, you’re going to fizzle out. Doing nothing is like compound interest, the more time you invest in  yourself, the more of yourself you have to give back to your family and job.

3. Be where you are.

You’re fooling no one, especially the two-year-old, by taking a day off from work just to spend it in front of the computer returning emails and writing reports. When you have a day off, be off. Be with your family. Read books. Make messes. Go to the park. Watch a movie. Bake cookies. The time you have off from work is limited, so make the most of it.

4. Go to bed.

When it’s 2a.m. and you have to get up in five hours to start this whole thing over again, put down the mop and go to bed. The world is going to keep on trucking whether or not the dishes have been done, the clothes have been put away or the floors have been vacuumed. It’s tempting to stay up late when you’re in the cleaning grove, but you’re going to pay for it tomorrow. In order to take care of your responsibilities at home and at work, you need to get the proper rest. You’re doing no one a favor by depriving yourself of a good night’s sleep.

5. Know that you are doing your best at what you are doing.

Unsolicited advice from family, friends, neighbors and strangers can really make you question your decisions and actions. Only you (and your husband) know what is best for you and your family. As long as your family is happy, healthy and well loved, then everything else will follow. Relax, you’re doing a great job. Believe it. 

I lay her down on the couch to change her into her PJs. She’s oblivious to the world around her, and I really need to do the dishes. Pulling her shoes off, she began to wiggle.

Please don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up.

I start to put her pajamas on, and her eyes shoot open.

If I’m really still, maybe she won’t see me.

“Mommy! Can I have a snack? Mommy, can we watch a movie and read books? Mommy, I want to snuggle.”

If we don’t watch a movie and snuggle now, I’ll regret it in the morning. Tomorrow, when I have the time to watch a movie, she’s not going to want to hang out with me. She’s going to have moved onto the next thing. The dishes can wait. They will be there when I wake up in the morning.  Two year olds, they don’t wait. They are going to keep growing and changing, even if I can’t keep up.

Renee Adams blogs at Me, Myself, and Mommy.