I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to sitting my fanny down on my comfy couch and zoning out in front of the ol' boob tube.  But who wants to be a boob?  Well, maybe Tiger Woods (rimshot!).  But seriously, folks, watching your favorite shows is fine and dandy, but when you are spending hours staring at an America's Next Top Model marathon, it's time to hand in your remote, honey.  Here's how.

1.  Find other ways to relax.

Did you know that TV doesn't actually help you relax?  It's true.  Instead, you're simply wilting like leftover iceberg lettuce (the worst lettuce of all!).  If you really want to relax, try yoga, meditation, music, massage... those all sound better to me than Two and a Half Men (then again, so does a nailgun to the noggin).

2.  Do other stuff.

Yep, "stuff."  Which could be literally anything.  Reading, writing, exercising, talking to your hubby (or wifey)... All of these activities are more engaging than the passivity of watching television.

3.  Set a goal.

With all the hours you spend NOT watching TV, think of what you can do!  Learn a new skill, start a home business, create art... the possibilites are seemingly endless.  This should be getting you excited!   Feel free to jump up and down.  I'll wait.

4.  Set limits

If you don't set limits, then how do you know if you're exceeding them (come on, that's totally logical!)?  Set time limits or usage limits (i.e., "I'll only watch one DVD during the weekend").  Your poor, strained eyes will thank you!

5.  Throw the bugger out

If all else fails, get rid of the machine.  It's sucking up electricity, anyway.  And if you really need to watch something, it's probably on the Internet.  Now about Internet addiction... 

Still aren't convinced?  Here are some other reasons to limit your television viewing:

• Money: Cable, pay-per-view, Netflix... it all adds up.  Use that extra money to buy a new shadestick from MAC.  Or pay bills, whatever.


• Advertising:  You can't afford that crap anyway.  Now you don't have it thrown in your po' face.


• Weight:  No more mindless eating in front of the TV.  Don't get defensive, ladies and gents; we all do it.


• Body image:  No more will those skinny b*tches make you want to puke up your tiramisu (No letters, please.  I don't support bulimia).


• Role Model:  Set your kids up for a lifetime of good habits... 


• Family:  ...and spend more time with your children and life partner.

What do you think?  Should we kill our television?  Or is the "threat" of TV blown out of proportion?  Comments are below, kids.

Hildy Golightly is not an expert on anything; she's an expert at everything.