When I was pregnant, I had no idea how I would feel about leaving my baby and going back to work. At the time I was in Graduate School and I discussed the idea of how I would care for my baby my classmates. When they asked what I planned to do, here was my standard speech:

“My parents have agreed to split the babysitting duties with my boyfriend when I go back to work. They live close and my boyfriend works nights.” This usually shut people up.

After I gave birth to my son, I loved every moment I spent with him. Even when I was delirious from lack of sleep (so exhausted that I was hysterically crying) I still wanted nothing more than to be home with my baby.

I was granted three months maternity leave from my job. When the three months were up, it was understood that I would return to work. But towards the end of my leave, I abruptly changed my plans. I quit my job and took a job closer to home so that I could be near my baby.

I was in a funny predicament. I resigned from my job and was going to start a new job in the same field, with a three month old baby at home. At the time I didn’t realize just how crazy this situation was.

The first day of my new job was really lonely. I knew no one and was expected to share an office with a complete stranger who was noticeably resentful of my existence. I was a graduate school intern, and this woman had shared office space with the previous intern. All she could talk about was how much she hated the last intern. Man, I thought to myself. I don’t stand a chance with this woman.

I was breastfeeding my son, and wanted to continue this practice despite the fact that I was working. So every three hours I had to duck into a disgusting bathroom to pump my breasts and pray that no unsavory characters walked in while I was engaged in this activity.

Most of the day, I spent either:

1. Pumping or

2. Spacing out and thinking about my baby at home

Each day I would arrive home and (I know this sounds crazy) but my son looked bigger to me. Every day he looked as if he’d grown just a little bit more. I couldn’t take it...

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