Posted by BlogalaCart

Tags: babies, baby, mom, moms
Share This Article

Today marked two important milestones in my life as a new mommy. A. Exactly thirteen weeks since pushing a watermelon out of the lady parts, I fit into my pre-maternity jeans <applause>! and B. I hired a babysitter. Both fairly epic achievements that produced a significant amount of sweat; one induced by sheer physical exercise, and the other by stress, anxiety, and some conflicted emotions about leaving my child in the hands of, essentially, a stranger.

 

I am gearing up to resume my graduate studies, and while I am thrilled at the prospect of engaging in an activity that does not solely revolve around poop, my leaking boobs, and infant wails of discontent, I am also incredibly nervous and hesitant about a stranger taking care of my baby. I am one of those type A control freaks that checks on my child 10,000 times a night just to ensure she’s still breathing, so as you can envision, my imagination runs wild with the millions of improbable disasters that could occur in my absence, while also fretting about the very basic task of finding a respectable, honest human being that will love and care for my child. I know rationally such people exist. I was one of them. I babysat for many years and loved the children I cared for as though they were my own.

 

To help facilitate this process, I ultimately decided to use an online babysitting service, and after many initial screening emails, and face-to-face interviews, and calls to references, and yes, even background checks, I found a truly loving, caring, experienced woman for the job. Not to sound all voodoo, but my hiring criteria was based mostly on the vibe a person gave off during her interview. Was she comfortable holding the baby? Was she excited to interact with her? Did she know to wash her hands before picking her up? And how comfortable was I speaking and interacting with this person? Would I want to spend 12 hours at a time hanging out with her (because if not, I should NOT subject my child to such a fate)? Did she respect and feel comfortable with my parenting choices, such as cloth diapering and breastfeeding?

 

There is clearly no hard science for this process and every parent’s needs and expectations are surely different. And so, my fellow parents, I am dying to hear how you have sorted out this process.

 

What are your expectations for your child’s caretaker? How do you tackle such an important selection process? How do you keep yourself from going crazy with worry? What are your thoughts on nanny cams? Or how do you hold your babysitter or daycare accountable, especially before your child can communicate his/her experiences with you?

 

And on that note, I’m off to install 800 cameras discreetly around the house… kidding… uh… maybe.


Ashley Weeks Cart blogs at Blog a la Cart.




Showing the Latest of 3 Comments

BuenoBaby
2 yearss ago
I’ve hired nannies for all three of my babies and I can say from experience it’s gotten easier with practice, but choosing my first babysitter ranked right up there on the anxiety Richter scale with cutting her fingernails. How was I qualified to do either? I hadn’t read beyond the “Giving Birth” chapters in any of the books during my pregnancies. And I sure didn’t have time to read with a new baby so I’ll try and keep this brief. Q #1: What are your expectations for your child’s caretaker? Very simple; 1) Be kind to my child. 2) Communicate any concerns she has regarding my child or her work environment. I always try to remember taking care of my baby is dang HARD work. 3) She isn’t my housekeeper. Some of my nannies have been more orderly than others. I just try to remember that finding a good housekeeper is easier than finding someone charged with the caring and loving of my little angel. Q #2: How do you tackle such an important selection process? I’ve relied on references or have hired someone my current nanny knew. Many of our nannies were older college or graduate students. However, once they graduated they’ve insisted on pursuing their own careers as opposed to supporting mine and taking care of my precious babies. The nerve! Q #3:How do you keep yourself from going crazy with worry? Compartmentalize. I made a choice, so I work hard to feel good about it. But when I even get a hint that something’s wrong I terminate her. I’m only accountable to my baby. This isn’t a democracy and I don’t need a jury of 12 to convict beyond a reasonable doubt. ANY REASONABLE DOUBT WILL GET MY BABYSITTER’S ASS FIRED. Q #4 What are your thoughts on nanny cams? I heard some security expert on Oprah or Dr. Phil say, “If you think you need a nanny cam then you shouldn’t have hired the nanny in the first place.” Huh? So if I think I should wear my seat belt I should then what, throw my keys into the air and banish any further car rides? My only concern about nanny cams is if something horrible should happen off camera, I’ll miss it, then think everything’s hunky dory and let my guard down. But then again it’s not like I’m reckless and run red lights when I wear my seat belt either, so I think an argument can be made wither way. Sounds like you have that covered with the 800 or so nanny cams anyway. Q #5 How do you hold your babysitter or daycare accountable, especially before your child can communicate his/her experiences with you? DROP IN UNEXPECTEDLY. If I stop in and she’s all on my couch watching T.V. and the kids have their hands in a box of cereal on the floor in my bedroom then I’m all, “what the hell is going on here?” Postscript: Some of our former nannies have turned out to be really close friends with our family. They’ve watched our babies grow and share that with us. However, there are a few I’d like to throw a poopy-opened-diaper at if I had a good shot. www.buenobaby.com
 
BlogalaCart
2 yearss ago
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful response! It eases my anxious mind to hear from parents who've gone through it! Maybe I should de-install all those cameras... 800 might be a bit excessive...
 
THE GUYS
2 yearss ago
We always used recommendations from friends. We never felt comfortable using a service because they were still strangers to us. That seemed to work pretty well. Of course, we honestly didn't go out much at first. It took me a bit longer than my wife to feel comfortable leaving the kids at all. Now they go down to my Grandma and Grandpa's house for a week in the summer and it's one of the best weeks of the year. It's funny. I don't want them to go. But after they're gone, I realize it's good for them and me. Yes, of course I miss them a TON, but I feel like I get a piece of me back, which I need. I think all parents need that. And I am so happy when they return. Of course they've been spoiled so badly that they don't want to come home. :) Sai ONE of THE GUYS