MOMS, It takes a strong and confident person to ignore a declaration like that. While I'm glad this worked out for Laura and I'm impressed with her ability to know her husband better than he knows himself, this could have easily gone the other way. Without knowing the dynamic of their relationship, it's hard to comment intelligently on their situation. Her piece doesn't give a detailed enough description of how they relate to one another. However, when someone makes a declaration like that, it's generally not made lightly. In fact it's likely to be the culmination of years of discussions with friends, family and professionals. Four months seems a very short time to resolve something like this. My gut: Her husband is confused and conflicted and not very introspective. She was able to show him all that he was going to lose and he was grateful in the end. But that still doesn't mean he loves her. But we can only hope he'll realize that as well. Because THE GUYS love happy endings. Bring Back Pluto "ONE of THE GUYS"

It worked out for them, but I'm betting it would not work out for most. And treating your husband like he's having "a child's tantrum" seems a bit...condescending to me. It shows a lack of respect. And if you and your spouse have that kind of relationship, it's likely that's why there's trouble to begin with.

One Monday night in November 1996, my (now ex-) husband came home and announced that we were having major problems and it was pretty much all my fault. Each night that week, the story changed slightly until it had evolved into something along the lines of him finally choosing to acknowledge and deal with some abuse he had undergone as a child. (After five and a half years of assuring me that it had no effect on him -- and he only informed me about it a month before our marriage, after a three year engagement!) The truth was that he was cheating on me and had been for some time. I guess it was getting to the point that he needed to poop or get off the pot for the girlfriend. He tried to make it all my fault, but within a few months I had figured out what was going on. But by that point, his girlfriend wanted nothing to do with him after meeting me (now THAT's a long, freakishly awkward story we'll save for another day) and suddenly understanding that everything my then-husband had told her about me was a complete fabrication. I had finally come to the realization that the man was a liar all over town, with everyone and everything, and yes, that included me. I was turning 26 during this ordeal. What I have learned is that when a spouse comes home and drops a bomb like that, if he seems defensive or tries to make it all about you, there's a lot more going on than you probably want to know about, and you're more than likely better off without him. On the other hand, if a person wakes up one day and realizes that they don't really love the person they're married to -- and they're a decent human being, which automatically excludes my ex -- they will go through a mourning period and do their best not to be hurtful to the one they once loved. They'll feel bad about it, not defensive, and they will have some sadness to contend with, even as they attempt to change their life to no longer include the other person.