Do some women have a higher aptitude for motherhood?   

Lately I’ve been thinking about how ill-prepared I was for motherhood, when I gave birth 18 months ago--and how much I still have to learn!  Things looked pretty solid on paper:  Babysitting experience in my teen years, check. Husband, check.  Graduate degree, check.  Stable work and home environment, check, check. 

About one hour into motherhood I realized that my aforementioned checklist was way off track.  The only item on that list that has proven valuable has been my husband.  (Lord knows I was definitely not cut out to be a single mom.  I just don’t have the right stuff for that.)  You know how some people are good at math, how some people are creative and how others are athletic?  I think that “motherhood”, or parenting, is also something that you have an intrinsic aptitude for—or not.  I’m one of the “or not’s”.  I’m not embarrassed to tell people that I am not a naturally good runner, so why should I be embarrassed to admit to my lack of innate mothering knowledge? 

I absolutely love my son, but being a mother doesn’t always come easy for me.  I inherently know how to analyze statistics and really enjoy writing, but knowing what to do with a screaming baby?  Nope.  I don’t have it.  For the first seven weeks of my beautiful son’s life he did nothing, (and when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING), other than scream bloody-murder, poop and eat.  Yes, I intentionally left “sleep” off that description, because, well…he didn’t.  I was an absolute wreck—and already back to work by the time he was six weeks old.  It was a nightmare.  I don’t even want to talk about it.  (I can almost laugh about it now, but the memories are still a little too fresh.) 

I truly believe that people who are not born with the genetics to be a gold medal Olympian, can still eventually become really good at a sport they work at—and can certainly still get an athletic scholarship for college.  See, this is where my hope comes in.  I know that just because motherhood hasn’t come naturally for me—and I would never qualify for any type of gold-mothering-medal, I can still be a good mom…make that a great mom!  I am definitely getting the hang of motherhood more and more each day, and I swear that by the time my son is 13 I’ll have the toddler phase under control. 

I took Supernanny’s Parental Aptitude Test: http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/supernanny/quiz/index.jspand found out I was fit to raise a “Lazy Dog.” Yes, it really said that.  Apparently I still have some work to do—and it seems that “Tongs” is not the right answer to the first question: “Which is the most important tool to have on hand for diaper changes?”. 

Did parenthood come naturally to you?  Has it been a harder transition than you imagined?  Why do you think moms feel guilty about admitting they are clueless—or was that just me?

Sarah Travaglio blogs at Capa Tosta.