Dear Moms in My Life,



Now that my daughter is swiftly approaching the three month mark of her short life each day brings a stronger urge to apologize to all of you. See, prior to giving birth I pretty much thought you guys were just whining. I mean, how hard could it really be to take care of a baby?



"Pah," I'd exclaim to my husband, "they're always saying they can't take a shower. I mean, come on, how hard can it be to fit in a shower?" Cut to me two weeks ago, half in and out of the shower, about to accidentally strangle myself with the curtain, trying to determine if Veronica's crying is going to escalate or dissipate...oh no, it's escalating, here she goes...yup, there I am jumping out of the shower with suds in my hair. I'm sorry, mom friends. You were right, showering can be a difficult and precious thing to accomplish.



"God," I'd moan to my single girlfriends over cocktails, "Holly and Kevin had that baby two weeks and ago and they STILL haven't gone out to any parties." Big apology here. All I even remember from those first two weeks is encompassed in a big blur of soreness, major diaper follies and what it looked like to see the newspaper get delivered at 3am four consecutive nights in a row.



"I'm so not going to fill my house with a bunch of plastic jungle-themed crap," I firmly told Greg as he unpacked our baby shower bounty one afternoon. I took it back the second I realized that all that plastic, jungle-themed crap was going to soothe, entertain and contain my daughter for the three minutes I was now allotted to shower. Which leads me to another apology. I'm so sorry for all the useless hard-cover editions of "Goodnight Moon" I gave out at baby showers. I owe all of you toddler car seats.



I'm sorry I sneered at your Facebook updates and YouTube videos proclaiming and demonstrating the cuteness of your kid. I understand if you refuse to comment on or watch any of mine.



I want to apologize for thinking that you were needy and overprotective when you said it was hard to leave your child at daycare. I cried the whole way to work going back that first week and experienced my first bout of road-rage on my way home.



I'm sorry I secretly criticized your postpartum fashion sense. I let a good portion of my nursing bra show in a dress I had to wear to a wedding recently because that was preferable to Veronica screaming bloody murder through the whole ceremony.



"Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to be late to everything," I complained to a neighbor last summer. I had to apologize to that same neighbor last week when I was 20 minutes late to pick her up because Veronica had a major poop explosion requiring a change of clothing on both our parts just as I was ready to leave the house.



Finally, I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you said that having a baby was the best thing you'd ever done. I seriously thought you had a case of Stockholm Syndrome. Veronica laughed for the first time the other day though and I realized I had one more reason to apologize to you. And then I updated my Facebook status about it.



Playdate next Tuesday?

Claire Bidwell Smith blogs at Life in Chicago.