I did actually have to stop and think, what week is this? How long have I been a stay-at-home mom now? If I did my math right, it’s been 5 weeks. 5 whole weeks. And it feels like I’ve always be doing this.

The kiddo and I finally settled into a comfortable schedule. We found the right balance between play groups and activities at home. I’ve given up my June Cleaver hopes, but I still keep the house in some sort of order. I’m still making the meals most nights. Of course Dad-oo is good about helping out, but some days making dinner is the break I need from the kiddo. Even if it’s just for 30 minutes. Even if he’s still running in and out of the kitchen. Even if that means I have to clean the dishes.

I am suffering just a little from the isolation that comes from being a SAHM. The days that we don’t go out are pretty quite. It’s hard to have a conversation with a 20 month old, even one who has a pretty large vocab for his age. Still, I can only answer “why” questions for so long. When we do go out, I’m making a bigger effort to interact with the other parents at our play groups. Although I’m shy. Painfully shy. So I’m a little out of my element, but pushing through, hoping to developed some good friendships with other people who are doing the at home parenting thing. I need some real people who can relate to this “job”. Who I can talk to about parenting woes, frustrations and fears. I’ll find those people, I’m not worried. Until then, Dad-oo has to put up with my in depth, and probably pretty boring, recap of the events of my day.

I’ve realized that I was made to do this. I can’t believe that I waited so long. Yes there are things that I miss about my working life. But those things are less and less important each day. I’ve found new ways to feel successful, like the 3-4 loaves of bread, pretzels and other baked goods that I make each week. I really HEART baking. Or working with the kiddo so he can tell Dad-oo what we saw on our walk (balloon! in the sky!). Watching the wheels turn as the kiddo learns how to count to 3. And knowing that I created him (with Dad-oo’s help of course). That’s the best kind of success anyone could ask for.

Allison Butt has gone "back to work" as a SAHM.  She blogs at Alli 'n Son.