Do remember the last time you smiled that much in bed? No, wait, don’t answer that. You’ll probably make me weep and make sad sounds with all your: oh yeah and then there was this time, oh and I almost forgot about that time, but the best time was really… Because we have two very young, very rambunctious children, so doing anything in bed other than sleeping demands an act of Congress. I find doing anything, other than sleeping in my bed, to be outside the bounds of possibility since Heidi was born. So save all your reminiscing and sexual acrobatic tutorials.

I. AM. TUCKERED. OUT.



And yes, each of those words required its own sentence.



Ben’s weary with exhaustion, as well, although he can’t seem to persuade the hamster living inside his brain to take a break from the wheel long enough so Ben can fall asleep. Mostly, Ben lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, tapping his foot from side to side. He does this until I can’t bear it one more nano second and then I ask, as if I don’t already know the answer, “WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THAT SHAKING?” I mean good sir, did you swap our bed for one that takes quarters? Is this thing hooked-up to some kind of colossal vibrator?

Read the rest at Bueno Baby.