It's October 1st, the beginning of the spookiest month of the year.  It's 30 days away, but we're already anticipating the ooey gooey yummy treats that we're going to get... erm, I mean, our kids are going to get.  Yeah, our kids.  (We swear we won't steal their candy in the middle of the night.)  We love treats... well, most treats, that is.  But there are some "treats" that make us want to TP a house.  Here are 10:

10.  Whoppers

Bits of concrete coverered with a chocolate-like substance.  Yum.

9.  3 Musketeers

I don't think I've ever met a person who's actually consumed a 3 Musketeers bar.  I know they have to be out there... Hey!  Maybe they're the same mysterious people who also watch Three and a Half Men.

8.  Dots

All Dots were apparently manufactured in the 1950s and have been sitting on the shelves since.  Dots.  Keeping dentists in business since 1945.

7.  Raisins

A big ol' lump of smooshed dried grapes?  Why not just give out little boxes of rabbit poop? 

6.  Necco Wafers

The label says "Great Flavor."  Looks like Necco's specialty isn't candy; it's irony.

5.  Apples

Halloween is the one night of the year where kids can go wild on white sugar.  People who give out apples are just party poopers.  And whose parents let their kids eat razor-blade-infested apples anyway?

4.  Boston Baked Beans

The disgusting candy coating reminds me of rancid baked beans.  Just thinking of these candies brings throw up to the back of my throat.  Yuck.

3.  Circus Peanuts

Circus peanuts. Styrofoam peanuts.  Circus peanuts.  Styrofoam peanuts.  I dare you to tell the difference in a blind taste test.

2.  Pennies

Wow, 10 whole cents.  Early retirement, here we come!

1.  Religious Tracts

Nothing like being told you're going to hell for dressing up like a cowboy and eating Smarties.  Happy Halloween!