A Dad's Guide to Giving Birth

From NewParent.com:

Okay, guys: Suffice it to say that most of you will never know what it’s like to have your belly stretch to the size of a large watermelon.

You will never know what it’s like to be karate chopped by a tiny being that’s living inside of you. And you will likely never be faced with the incomprehensible task of pushing a football-sized object through your nether region.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t play the important role of wingman in the birth of your baby. Several decades ago, the typical American father-tobe sat in a waiting room, reading, pacing or smoking cigarettes, until the doctor announced, “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” Today, the vast majority of dads are present in the delivery room, not only to witness the birth but also to provide encouragement, comfort and hands-on support to their partner.

Sound like a big job? It is—and one that can be intimidating to even the most confident first-time fathers. But with a little training and a level head, you can take on the challenge and perform like a pro. Don’t worry, we’re not about to throw you into the game without any coaching. To help ease your nerves and ensure that all goes as smoothly as possible, we have assembled a team of experts—including a top childbirth educator and a bunch of experienced dads— and presented their insight and advice for you here.

Get Your Head in the Game

As the saying goes, knowledge is power. So in the months before your baby’s due date, make an effort to learn as much as possible about the labor and delivery process, advises Cheryl Coleman, R.N., an ICEA-certified childbirth educator at Oklahoma State University Medical Center in Tulsa. Attend childbirth classes with your partner and read any pregnancy books that you can get your hands on.

While a class or book can’t prepare you for every possible situation, “it can give you an idea of what to expect and help you understand when and how to best support your partner,” explains Jeff Lucia of Fallbrook, Calif., who was by his wife’s side for the births of their three children. As the big day approaches, sit down and talk to your partner about how she’d like to see things play out in the delivery room.

Is there anything in particular she’s worried about? What can you do to help make things easier or more comfortable? How does she feel about getting an epidural or some form of pain relief? While she may not have all the answers, she may be able to clue you in to what’s important to her, so you can be certain her wishes are followed.

At the same time, be sure to discuss any anxieties that you’re experiencing as well. Like many expectant dads, you may be concerned that you won’t know what to do, something will go wrong during the delivery, the baby won’t be healthy or you won’t be able to handle seeing your partner in pain.

Or maybe you’re scared to death of hospitals or get queasy at the sight of blood. Remember: There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. So don’t hold back! Just opening up about your fears should help alleviate them. What if you’re not entirely sure that you want to take on the job of birth coach, or you’d prefer not to participate in every single aspect of labor and delivery? Now’s the time to speak up.

“Not all dads feel comfortable providing full support and care,” Coleman explains. “Sometimes they just want to be the hand-holder. That’s fine as long as the mom isn’t expecting more from him.” So talk to each other about what your role will be to make sure that you’re on the same page. One good option might be to have a doula on hand to offer suggestions and act as a backup, allowing you to participate in the labor process at any level you choose at any given time.

Read the rest at NewParent.