I Spend Most of My Time in the Bathroom

This came as a surprise to me earlier this week, when it dawned on me that since I’ve made the transition to a SAHM, I spend most of my time in the bathroom. And no, it’s not because I’m eating hot dogs and American cheese.

It seems to have happened for a variety of reasons. We’re in the very beginning stages of potty training. Which is really hit or miss lately. And by miss I mean one time the kiddo was sitting on his froggy potty and he still managed to miss the potty, and peed on the floor (and a little bit on a library book, shhhh, don’t tell). If you have a boy and know how are fascinated they are by the parts that make them a boy, you’ll understand.

But that only takes up a small chunk of each day, yet I feel like I’m the bathroom for at least 4 hours every day. What else could I possibly be doing in our closet-sized bathroom? Let me lay it out for you.

1. Bath time for the kiddo: This usually stretches into a 30 minute ordeal, including, but not limited to: bubbles, shampoo in the eyes, water in the eyes, a scrubbed clean body, a refreshing drink of bath water, wrestling to get him out of the tub, toweled off, lotioned up and finally dressed for the day. Some days I’m surprised that it only takes 30 minutes.
2. Shower time for me: That is, if I actually get around to showering before it’s nap time. Or dinner time. Or bed time. Thankfully, we have activities planned for most days, which motivates me to actually look presentable. Most days, I don’t actually accomplish showering before the kiddo wakes up. So my showering time has turned into hide-and-seek while momma showers, followed by attach of the hair dryer (OK, not an actual attack, but the kiddo loves having it blown on his face), unrolling the toilet paper while momma puts on make-up, pushing all of the books around the floor, throwing basketballs behind the toilet and general tomfoolery.
3. Potty training: Yes, I already mentioned this, but did you know that this sometimes lasts for 45 minutes!?!?! And that’s just one attempt. If the kiddo is really excited about froggy potty, we’ll try 2 or 3 times a day. I’ve been sitting on the floor for so long that I think it is going to have a permanent imprint from my butt.
4. Hand washing: This happens 1.75 million times a day. Roughly. After a diaper change. Before breakfast. Before snack. Another diaper change. After play groups, errands or any event out side of the home. Diaper change. Before lunch. After lunch (icky sticky hands). Diaper change, again. Before snack. Diaper, diaper, diaper. Before dinner. After dinner (this is sometimes a full face wash). Finally diaper change before bed. And yes, one more diaper change because I changed his “final” diaper too early. I think this accounts for at least 2 hours a day in the bathroom.
5. The normal events that happen in a bathroom. I’ll spare you the details. :-)

There you have it, my life in the bathroom. If only we had a larger bathroom, say the size of a master bedroom. Then it wouldn’t be so bad.

Allison Butt blogs at Alli 'n Son.