"Mommy, Is Santa Real?" 5 Tips for the Santa Talk

Your child is 7 and in the first grade.  Recently, some kids at school have been talking about the Santa Claus, or more to the point, whether Santa is indeed real.  Your child has believed in St. Nick since he was a wee tot, delighting in the presents left round the tree and the cookie crumbs adorning the plate left out for the jolly old man. 

But now, he's asking you if Santa is a real person.  What to do?  And how?  And worst of all, in your imagination, the conversation goes something like this:

"Mom, is Santa real?  Timmy and Bobby at school say it's really our parents who pretend to be Santa Claus."

"Well, son, your friends are right.  Santa isn't real.  He's an imaginary man who represents the Christmas spirit."

[Pause.]  "YOU LIED TO ME!  What kind of mommy are you?  Christmas is ruined!  Now I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life!"

But it doesn't have to go like that (duh!).  Here are 5 tips on how to break the news to your child:

1.  Don't push the truth on them.  Unless you are 100% set on telling your children there's no Santa, then let them naturally realize that Santa might be imaginary.  Most children figure it out, and you'll know when it's right to reveal when your child seems fairly certain Santa isn't real.  Until then, there's no harm in letting your kid continue to believe (unless he's 32).

2.  Explain the tradition of Santa Claus.  Talk to your children about the story of St. Nicholas and what the spirit of Santa Claus represents.  Have a conversation about giving, sharing, family, and the true meaning of Christmas.

3.  Listen, and answer all of your child's questions.  Listen to all of your children's questions and concerns, and answer their inquiries honestly and with sensitivity.

4.  Keep your own traditions.  Now is not the time to completely abandon all your old Christmas traditions.  Some children still like to pretend Santa exists, at least for Christmas day.  So, don't forgo laying out the milk and cookies and scooting the kids off to bed before placing the gifts under the tree.  It helps sustain some of the magic of the season.

5.  Remember, you know your child best.  Use common sense in your "Santa" talk... and just be thankful that you might be able to wait a few years before the "birds and the bees" talk.