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Top Ten Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

by Momversation on August 18, 2009 — Comments (15)

It seems like pregnant women are a magnet for the most odd and terrible remarks. So, we decided to ask our Twitter followers what's the worst thing that someone has said to them when they were pregnant. Here are the top ten responses.

10. You think you can do this without an epidural? Ha!

9. Life as you know it is officially over. (via MainlineMom)

Why act like a pregnancy is a joyful event when you can play into a mom-to-be's fears by telling her that her life is over? Fantastic.

8. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?

7. I'll be glad when you can go back on your meds. (via j1nx82)

This is especially endearing when it comes from your husband. Do we have anti-jerk pills to give to you? (Don't mess with a pregnant lady!)

6. Moo!

5. Were you trying? (via jennchantal)

Ugh, in this culture of nosiness, this shouldn't surprise us, but it does. As Salt 'N' Pepa would say, "It's none of your business!"

4. You know you shouldn't be eating for two, right? (via babytimebags)

Any version of "You're huge!" or "You look like you're ready to pop!" is awful, but this one is so passive-aggressive and condescending, it tops any variation of the "You're gonna burst!" we've heard.

3. Are you having twins? You're not? Really? REALLY?!

2. Is it your husband's? (via samanthajcampen)

Insulting, bizarre, and incredibly intrusive. So shocking, all you can answer is, "Um, YES!"

1. I'd kill myself if I looked like you.

Keywords

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15 Comments

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Thu, 2010-03-04 10:04

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Wed, 2010-03-03 17:33

rachelhardy

I love these! Well I have kind of the opposite problem from all the "you're huge" comments. I'm petit and young, so when people find out I'm pregnant they run a critical eye up and down, arch an eyebrow, and say "YOU'RE pregnant?!!!!"

Fri, 2009-08-21 20:18

BuenoBaby

Not pregnant, but still in the stir-ups post delivery, the male doctor on-call who’d just delivered our THIRD girl turned to us and said, “you can always try again”.

www.buenobaby.com

Wed, 2009-08-19 11:52

Abigail Green

A woman on an elevator once said to me when I was about 7 or 8 mos. pregnant: "Wow, you look like you swallowed a watermelon!" Um, thanks? The second time around, a guy said (after he asked me what I was stealing under my coat. ha, ha) "You look great. When my wife was pregnant, she looked horrible!" I'm sure she'd love to know you're telling strangers that, jerk.

Wed, 2009-08-19 10:41

catsmith

These are hysterical!

Wed, 2009-08-19 08:07

meggansamom

My two "favorites" that I heard when I was pregnant was

"Did you want to have a baby?"

and since I am 5' 10" tall..."you need to watch it, BIG girls like you shouldn't gain too much weight during pregnancy or you'll be BIG the rest of your life."

Lovely.

Tue, 2009-08-18 12:08

CallieAnnie23

Some lady in the check out line told me I was ruining my life as she eyed my pregnant belly when I was 22.
I was wearing a sweatshirt with Horton from "Horton Hears a Who" that said "A person is a person, no matter how small," and she asked if I really believed that. I said I did and that I was sure my son was a person, even though I was only 6 months along. She said that I was wrong and that science was on her side and that what I was carrying was not a person, but actually a parasite that I was allowing to grow inside of me. And that I should have just had an abortion already, because I was clearly ruining my life by letting the parasite live. I explained that I was married and that he was a very wanted baby... but she insisted with the whole parasite idea.
I told her that I thought "right to choose" could also mean that I choose to have the baby... I then found another check out line.

Wed, 2009-08-19 10:31

ICanGrowPeople

"I'd kill myself if I looked like you" Man, that is SOOOO awful.

Tue, 2009-08-18 09:27

mommyland

Well, I've never been pregnant (not yet), but as one who is trying to conceive (and has been for almost nine months) I have to admit that I sometimes ask how long they tried, which is sort of like, "Were you trying?" Whoops. I'm just conducting my own personal poll, hoping to find a kindred spirit, or a glimmer of hope. I want to know that one day, I'll be that pregnant lady. And I'm giving you all permission now, ask me if I was trying. The answer is YES.

Tue, 2009-08-18 09:27

jennchantal

@mommyland - Your reason for asking "Were you trying?" makes total sense and I think to @erinhattaway's point, if you were to preface the question with your own story - I'd be perfectly comfortable answering. What surprised me is that EVERYONE asks me this question. And I can't get past thinking that what they are really asking about is either (a) my sex schedule or (b) if we made a huge mistake! Either way it just seems so inappropriate and personal!

Tue, 2009-08-18 10:15

mommyland

@jennchantal - I totally see your point. And you're right, it's like asking, "HOW did this happen?!" Thanks ladies, actually hoping to be the recipient of these inappropriate comments soon. Especially the one, "I'd kill myself if I looked like you." REALLY? People say that?

Tue, 2009-08-18 11:21

ErinHattaway

I think if you were to start your comment with something like, "Congratulations. That's amazing. We're trying to have a baby. Do you mind if I ask..." insert question here. That lets people know that you're really interested, and you're not just reacting to some thought that happened to pass through your mind. Besides, a lot of pregnant women are DYING to talk about it all- and it's nice to be asked. The right way.

Tue, 2009-08-18 09:53

mommyland

Thanks Erin. Yes, I think I do use some "tact" when I ask. It's certainly not my first question, and not something I'd ask a total stranger, or even a very casual acquaintance now that I think about it.

Tue, 2009-08-18 10:00