Are Little Girls Clothes Way Too Sexy?

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October 29, 2009

From tweens with "juicy" on their butts to butts hanging out of low-rise jeans, little girls' clothing keeps getting racier and racier. And if the clothes themselves aren't racy, then their slogans are dripping with innuendo. Fine if the wearer is 23, but why should an 8-year-old worry about being "Legal-ish?" (a real T-shirt). While some parents are outraged, others happily purchase their 10 year olds thongs and push up bras. For these parents, why is it OK that marketers are sexualizing our little girls in order to sell products? What happened to just being a kid? Guest Stefanie Wilder-Taylor of Baby on Bored asks, "Are little girls clothes way too sexy?"

Do you allow your child to wear "sexy" clothing? At what age is it OK for a girl to wear thongs, miniskirts, or graphic Ts with risqué slogans? Or do you say, "Not in my house!" Join the Momversation by commenting below.

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Panelists

Daphne Brogdon - Cool Mom Giyen Kim - Bacon Is My Enemy

Keywords

Parenting Style and Fashion Video

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17 Comments

MsBwell

Hubba, Hubba Daphne! Mark is a very lucky guy *wtg* & Giyen, are you doing this on company time? *lol*
I’m so lucky in this department, my kiddos aren’t into dressing like little tramps. Even if that was their chosen style I’m the one that pays for the clothes and wouldn’t buy it for them. We don’t even do bikinis, which btw is something I received as a gift at my baby shower from my mother in law. I’m not sure what people are thinking. If your child is dressing provocative how do you think she will act? I remember when my oldest was in 4th grade the Olsen twins had a clothing line designed to let kids dress more grown up. Some of the stuff was mini me cute but there were some outfits that crossed the line. My 4th grader wasn’t going out clubbing and didn’t need to dress the part.
http://marriedsingleparent.blogspot.com/

Fri, 2009-10-30 03:20

Giyen

Shhh ... don't tell anyone!

Actually, just running out of daylight and sandwiched between meetings!

Fri, 2009-10-30 14:52

Irisblossom81

I hate the way some little girls clothes look today. Does a fourth grader really need a thong? I guess my rule is that once my daughter is 18 and out of my house, she gets to make her own decisions about clothes and if she wants to be slutty, she better earn the money to buy those clothes herself because I wont' be paying for that ever. Until that time, she's stuck with what I am willing to buy her and I'm going to remove any clothing she buys for herself that isn't appropriate. When I was 18 I pierced my nose. I knew my conservative father wouldn't like it. The only thing he said to me when I told him was "You an adult and I am not responsible for you anymore. You can ruin your life any way you want to." I didn't think a nose ring was ruining my life and it did come out a few years later when I got a real job so no biggie. But I will always remember that lesson. My child will not wear slutty clothes until she is of an age to make that decision for herself because ithen t's no longer my choice. She'll get my opinion whether she wants it or not.

Fri, 2009-10-30 05:43

mookeimom

Hmmmm, as I'm watching this and cringing as I realized I dressed my 17 mo old in a cheerleading outfit (one of THREE that she received as gifts! Her Dad is a BIG Alabama fan) to go to daycare. I kinda want to drive there right now and put some pants on her! We do live in Miami though, so don't worry people, she's not freezing. Regardless, I couldn't agree more. My daughter will NOT be dressing like a hoochy mama. Lord knows if she inherits my thighs I won't have to worry about her wanting to show off her legs in short skirts and well, lord knows if she inherits my boobs she won't be wearing low cut tops either (yeah, I got that winning figure ;-) thank God for prego boobs!) Certainly as a child, when I have ULTIMATE control over what she wears, she will look like a little girl, not a Britney-wanna-be. I think it certainly contributes to the already over sexualization of girls and that they should be judged on their appearances alone. Down with "Juicy" on the booty!

P.S. Daphne - my husband wants to know where you got that costume. ;-)

Fri, 2009-10-30 05:59

Aceiatx

Kaltura

Fri, 2009-10-30 07:24

Tracie Yule

I think that a lot of the way the girls dress begins with the way their parents dress. At least, I'm hoping so! My daughter is three and she is still sweat pants and t-shirts. I've noticed that the moms who pay too much attention to the way they look and dress, have a tendency to put their daughters in skimpier clothes. I want my daughter to value herself for who she is and not necessarily how other people perceive her. I want her to feel good about herself no matter what she is wearing. I hear people say to little girls all the time: "You look so cute" or "Your hair is so pretty." I know that they don't mean any harm by it (I say it, too, sometimes), but I'm wondering what kind of message she is getting when many of the positive things said to her have to do with how she looks.

In the end, I always think to myself, would you put your little boy in those clothes? If the answer is no, then I'm not putting my daughter in it.

Fri, 2009-10-30 07:47

amyz5

This is one of my favorite topics here.

I had this experience in our district a few years back. When asked at a parent meeting why the school was not enforcing the dress code more strictly, the superintendent candidly answered, "Look around the room at how many of you have chosen to dress at a school meeting." A brave move but it hit home.

Parents need to teach, model and enforce self-esteem to their daughters. Period. (oh, and respect to their sons – so much for the period).

Daph, love the outfit AND your message.

Jessica, we have had this conversation before, dead and in the ground is surely not the time when you will lose control over your daughter's choices. Nor will you want to but it makes great video. Your message is excellent as well. You are a strong role model and both your kids will get it.

Fri, 2009-10-30 08:03

jenzug

I agree with Tracie Yule that I want my daughter (6yo) to find value in who she is rather than what she can show off. So yeah, she may grow more independent and make her own clothing choices at some point, but I hope I succeed in instilling the value that beauty does not equal slutty, and that this will help guide her clothing choices even when I'm not involved.

http://www.babysaur.com

Fri, 2009-10-30 09:23

Talon

I first ran into this problem when my now nine year old daughter was 2. I could not find dress shoes that DID NOT HAVE HEELS.

. . .

The shoes were insane. There is only one reason for heels of any kind and that is to make your legs and butt all nice and popped up. I'm almost 6ft tall, so I don't wear heals anyway, but it's one of my HUGEST pet peeves. I'm the mom who bought Robeez shoes just to keep Ripley's socks on (those kinds of shoes, the leather slipper type shoes, strong enough to play outside in, but all soft and stuff weren't very common yet when Ripley was still small) and I had a daughter who started walking at nine months. Who the HELL buys heeled shoes (and yes, I mean the wide heel, but I think even half an inch is too much for a toddler) for a toddler-pre-schooler?

And then...oh MAN. Ripley is tall, with a long waist, like I am. So all these jeans that fit around the hips and shirts that were not long enough...yeah. She wore alot of overalls, let me tell you. And I am buying boys clothes for her and have been for several years, and I will continue to do so until they don't fit her right anymore. She knows it, and in general she likes the boys pants more than the girls pants. She loves cargo jeans and shorts and camouflage. But she's also a girly girl. I've been able to find sturdy Mary Jane shoes with a good sole for the past few years as well as a dress boot with the same sort of sole. They're meant to be worn and played in, not minced about in. But I'm about to start hitting the wall again because Ripley's feet, overnight have widened so much that she can't wear her socks anymore. And she is NINE and wearing a size SEVEN in womens shoes. I have to re-fit her entire sock collection, including the MASSIVE PowerPuff Girl collection of socks. A dollar store was selling them, from Cartoon Network at the same time Ripley discovered them and became obsessed. Come to think of it, the same thing happened with Teletubbies. Praise dollar stores and thrift stores!!

Anyway. Boys shirts are made bigger and longer, and I now buy Ripley womens sized shirts alot because she is in XL in kids shirts. I have to buy bigger than she is because she is so long. And don't even get me started on swimsuits. I could not believe the one piece suits they were putting out for her size. They were worse than the two piece ones, AND they were too short in the waist. I had the same problem at her age, in fact I had the same problem so hard that I REMEMBER my swimsuit from that age. They didn't start making tank-inies until I was a teenager, and at about the same time, Lands End started offering long torso one piece suits.

It's bad enough when you have a kidlet who is not easily sized, to find clothes that are well made, tasteful and kid-friendly. It's alot harder when you have to sift through all the prosti-tot clothes to find ANYTHING appropriate. One reason we decided to homeschool was that we wanted our child or children to stay the ages they are as long as possible. That doesn't mean isolating them from other kids, but keeping them out of a place where they spend 7 or so hours a day under the influence of peer pressure works for us. And for the other moms and Dads I see at homeschooling functions.

Kids need to be kids before they can become adults. Pushing them too far too fast and robbing them of that age where they're kids is just...well it's asking for trouble IMO.

Fri, 2009-10-30 12:03

Carita

I'm glad this came up again as I feel so strongly about the topic. I made similar comments and posted the same link in "Halloween Costumes Gone too far?" but I'll say again that you need only show me a Bratz doll to get me on my soap box.

As wonderful as the world is, there is still that percentage of sick individuals who could care less about our children and their innocence. There are those who only need to see skin and lipstick to consider a girl a grown-up. Society has changed A LOT, and this isn't just about being a crotchety parent who doesn't approve- it's downright dangerous in this day and age to take those kinds of risks with children. There is simply no excuse for "sexy children", and I don't feel that enough people are able to recognize some of the lines that have been crossed.

Women make informed choices when they 'get sexy'. Little girls love to copy the behavior but have no idea what it implies, or the kinds of feelings those behaviors can produce in men/boys. Several people have commented on how manufacturers won't continue to make what we won't buy. It's serious, and it would be great for more parents to get together on the issue. Maybe then they'd listen.

Once again, here is my tirade on this issue (I once got really upset about baby high heels and it sprang from there. I know they were meant to be cute but...).

http://judgementalzine.com/index.php/2009/03/sex-candy/

Basically my answer is yes- much much too sexy. Some things I've seen make me want to lock my daughter away until she's 30....37. 43.

Fri, 2009-10-30 12:39

MeMyselfandMommy

I am so embarrassed to say this, but back in the day, I wore words on my butt. I know, I should be shunned. I understand if you never want to speak to me again :-)

My daughter will NOT wear wordy-booty pants. Nor will she wear those cheeky, innuendo shirts that say things like "I'm a Tease" or "I've been naughty today"... can you even believe they make those for young girls?

I do allow conservative tank tops and spaghetti straps. They've not low cut and they don't show tummies. In the dead of summer, I think it's OK to go without sleeves.

What I'm battling right now, is that my two year old, is obsessed with jewelry and can not leave the house without her purse. I'm not a girly, girl at all, so I have no idea where this "go fetch my jewels" attitude came from. It's cute and funny and all girls like to dress up, but I don't want it to turn into a materialistic, makeup wearing, accessory obsession.

Fri, 2009-10-30 16:06

Steph

I saw g-strings for 8 year olds. 8 year olds!

Who on Earth would buy a g-string for an 8 year old?

Disgusted.

Sat, 2009-10-31 12:30

hereslizz

I wrote about this on my blog earlier this month. I was SHOCKED to find some of the costumes for tweens....in girls size 10?!?!!?!

http://onenerveleft.blogspot.com/2009/10/its-because-im-old-isnt-it.html

Any girl who chose to dress like this and whose parents let her assuredly froze her ass off last night! Deservedly so. Pain is "beauty" is a lesson one must learn early, right? ;)

Sun, 2009-11-01 20:20

salsamite

OMG Carita! I am with you on the Bratz Doll thing. I really don't know how they have survived this long. WHY ARE PEOPLE BUYING THEM FOR LITTLE GIRLS?! And what really kills me is when I find my nine and six-year-old neices playing Bratz, and they are saying things like, "Hey Sascha, are you, like, seriously going to wear THAT to the mall?" WTF?!

I know they probably finish the episodes with some lame afterschool special-like lovely message, but that doesn't erase all the other exceptionally WRONG messages they are putting out there before that. The clothing alone is despicable.

You know what else, I totally agree with Tracey Yule also. Take my sister and I as an example. We were compared our entire lives. Our mother, older sister, their friends and our relatives would talk openly in front of and to us about how I was the skinny, pretty one, and how she was the one with personality. Now, I was shy and well-behaved, while she was very outspoken and vibrant. I was one of those naturally ridiculously skinny kids of average height, while my sister was tall for her age and probably a tiny tiny bit bigger than me. That people felt the need to compare us so blatantly just makes me so angry.

We both recognise now that this did us no favours. I grew up believing I would really have to pull a rabbit out of a hat to make anyone value me for anything more than my looks, and my sister grew up believing she was fat and not very pretty. Neither of those ideas were anywhere near reality. My sister is incredibly beautiful and always has been, and I'm a magazine editor now, and I'm a very confident person having used the talents I always had to get me to where I am today.

Telling a child she/he is beautiful is fine. "You look pretty today" is fine to say, but please everyone, don't press upon your child/ren that their looks define them.

Mon, 2009-11-02 21:51

JavaCupcake

Bratz dolls are NOT ALLOWED in my house. I told my daughter from the first moment she saw them that they are too sassy and she is not allowed to have them. She didn't understand at first, but as she got older and we talked about it more.... she understood how those dolls don't look like real girls and how their clothes are inappropriate.

As for how my daughter dresses. I'm on board with all the Mom's in the video. I make sure that not only do my daughters clothes fit her, covering up in all the right places, but I even make sure that she puts on a bra or an undershirt if her little girl boobies are showing a little too much. Sometimes she likes to wear skirts, but she always always always wears leggings under them. High heels are for dresses only. Not for everyday. We don't even do those skin tight shirts or skinny jeans. A little girls body doesn't need to be that exposed.

Mon, 2009-11-09 01:08

babytanous

I have to agree with everyone else especially about the Bratz dolls. Those things are really offensive. I'm not a prude by any means, I can put on a little sexy black dress for a night out with my guy but I would never wear something like that to the grocery store. Living in California I see it all the time too. Some of the women are nutty here and they have little mini me's following right behind them dressed just as offensively. I have gone so far as to ban any clothes that have the word princess or juicy for my daughter. Grandma thought it would be cute for her to have a juicy sweatsuit but I shot it down. Why would I want to have the word juicy written across my daughters behind, it's like inviting a child molester to come on over. A one year old does not need to have attention drawn to her rear end. My daughter has one "mini" skirt and it comes down to her knees, anything shorter and she's not allowed to wear it.

Mon, 2009-11-09 13:08