Are We Overscheduling Our Kids?

Ewgwergjhvw

Thu, 2010-03-04 10:44

Some people might consider my kids overscheduled, and things are going to get crazier in the fall, but I reevaluate with them often, and they thrive on the activities, especially my oldest. Right now, my almost 10 year old is on a competetive gymnastics team, with practices 4 hours a week. Last year she did cheer also, and the year before that, dance. She's stayed with gymnastics though, and LOVES it. I'm hoping the money I'm investing now will pay off with a college scholarship, but anytime she decides she's done with it, that's fine by me.

My 7 year old son takes gymnastics 1 hour a week, does 2 months of basketball in the winter, and wants to take karate and hip hop dance. I seriously have to argue them down. They want to do everything.

On a side note though, we live in a city, in a townhouse, where the children are not ALLOWED to play outside (rules of the complex), so I really feel they need an outlet for their energy, otherwise they're stuck in the house a good amount of the time. We go to the park and such, but that's certainly not all the time.

Oh, one other thing, school is most important and they know that if their grades slip, then I'll consider their "workload" to be too much and cut out the extras.

Mon, 2009-05-04 14:51

When Jake was 5 and I signed him up for swimming lessons twice a week after school, he turned to me and said, "Mom, this is too much. I want to go home."

I didn't realize it at the time, but Jake's special needs were already making school hard enough to survive that he just couldn't handle any other structured activity. Period. He can't even stand having friends over after school. Believe it or not, it was teachers and schools that pressured us to have him "in" something. They demanded it be sports. Hey, the kid has a motor coordination disorder...what, you trying to humiliate him?

Instead we followed Jake's lead. Every Friday we hit the pool with one friend, Sunday is family day, and the rest of the time he's out in the neighborhood building forts and catching frogs with his friends.

Can't get any better then that.

Sat, 2009-02-07 20:43

Totally agree with ya on this one...kids are doing TOO much.

As of this year, I decided to enroll my oldest, who is about to turn seven, in some extra curricular stuff outside school.

Piano was important...her father plays and we had gotten a piano. Then Girl Scouts started for her age. I was a Girl Scout for a long time...wanted her to experience that. Then my youngest wanted dance class and she decided to do it too.

The first week of having all three of these things scheduled I realized what a mistake I'd made. It was NOT fun. It was stressful for us all and it didn't take long before something became UNFUN and dreadful. It was dance class. Oh my Lord...why do parents do dancing to their kids.

It was regimented. Not very stimulating and EXPENSIVE. When it came time for the recital (nearly $400 for costumes for both girls) I said enough. I opted out of the recital. The next time we came I looked up to find both my girls in each of their classes were being pulled aside from the rest of the class...basically ignored because they weren't in the routine for the recital. Talk about mama fury!

I asked if the recital was mandatory. They told me no. Then I asked why my girls were being pulled out from the class. They said because they weren't in the routine. I asked them if that was all they were going to do for the five months until the recital and she said pretty much. I was paying nearly $100 a month for this???!!! I pulled them both out. We lasted maybe four months total. Total and utter waste of our time and money...late on a Friday evening, didn't get home until way after dinner time, ate cheeseburgers every Friday because of it. It sucked. I totally fell into the trap of trying to overschedule and I felt like a big idiot. Both girls were so thankful not to have to go back to dance. Me too, lol.

So now we have piano every week...which she's good at and loves.

We have Girl Scouts twice a month, so no biggie.

The youngest has gymnastics at her preschool as part of her day once a week.

Perfect.

The rest of the time...we are at home, in pjs all day!!! And lovin it baby. They now wear all the expensive dance crap I bought them for class in our living room.

Sun, 2009-02-01 10:25

I am a homeschool mom and believe it or not this is a huge issue for us. There are so many activities for the kids it's hard to know when enough is enough.

Mon, 2009-01-26 11:56

Honestly, I don't know how some families do it. My oldest is six and her two sisters aren't even into regular school yet. We can hardly get everyone home from school/preschool, get the six year olds homework done, have dinner, bathe, and have a moment to play or relax before bed time.
Lots of extra activities would just wear everyone out. We will, for sure, have a one activity at a time rule for our girls.

Here's something to think about: how hard is it to get your child out of bed in the morning? If your child has a difficult time waking up, he/she is probably not getting to bed early enough. Are the activities the reason for this? If so, maybe it's time to reevaluate.

I had a lot of activities growing up and I loved all of them. They were great, but, I also remember trying hard not to fall asleep in class and two years in a row I got walking pneumonia. I believe it was from wearing myself out.

Kellie
www.momranoutscreaming.com

Sat, 2009-01-24 21:23

I think it's great to try to teach your kids new skills but it should also allow time for them to be kids. Free time is also a great time for your child to get to know herself. It's a great time for creativity as well. If your child enjoys the lessons and it can be afforded than it's a great gift for your child.

What I don't agree with is the pressure that some kids are put through to Excel and be the best at everything they try. Without menitoning names, I saw one parent give her son a disapproving look because he got one mistake on his math test. Just look at some of the specials you see about beauty pageants, or go see parents' reactions to their son's hockey game. If I had that much pressure to be perfect all the time, I'd go nuts.

Sat, 2009-01-24 10:40

Oh, that's a big problem - overscheduling... What I hate is a huge anxiety of parents, I meet almost everywhere. "We go for 'preparation to school'-lessons twice a week" - that is what a parent told me, when her kid was only 4 (kids go to school at 7 in Russia). Parents just can't relax and let their children JUST PLAY. They teach them letters, numbers, foreign languages from a cradle... The world has just gone crazy about that EDUCATION 24 hours a day... And then I hear lots of complains on kids, who hate the process of learning in the end of the first grade... Because they've got too much of it already...

In Moscow we have a big problem with preschools (kindergardens? - well, that place, where a kid could go 5 days a week). There are too many kids, and not enough places for all of them. My daughter is 431-st one in the waiting list to the preschool, and this list doesn't move. So we had to start Montessori school - it's quite expensive, and it's only 3 hours/3 times a week. For a 4,5 year old girl that's not enough socialization absolutely... She gets bored at home, she doesn't like to play by herself, and she becomes very agressive... That's why today we decided to try some taekwondo class and a dance class for her. Both of them are 2 times a week. I need her energy to go somewhere, not in hiting me and her little sister :) I think, that after we try those classes, we would choose one to attend on a regular basis.

I guess, the main thing for parents, who have risk of overscheduling their kids, is being flexible. We have to check all the time, what those classes give our kids and our family, and be ready to give up our ambitions and competitions with other parents - to help our family and our kids stay cheerful and sane...

Sun, 2009-01-25 08:38

My 9 year old is always coming up with new things she wants to do, but i'm super wary of being overscheduled. in fact, most of the parents think my "overscheduled" is still way underscheduled. Zel has girl scouts every other week and art weekly (in three sessions throughout the school year); both are right after school and don't require that i drive her anywhere. In the fall, she plays soccer, so for 6-7 weeks, we have practice once a week (completely messing up the dinner schedule), and games on saturday (i hate getting dressed before noon on the weekend).

I really can't imagine adding more to the schedule. The other parents have always been curious about what zel *does* if she's not doing all the activities their kids do. Well, she plays! She hangs out in the backyard, with or without the neighbor kids; she colors and does art projects; she plays imaginary games with herself; she dances around the family room while blasting Pink.

I'm pregnant and am glad that our schedule is so light. It's really going to be nice when baby gets here and i don't have to cart a wee one all over town for zel's activities! Also, as mindy mentioned, all these activities cost money!!! And i simply don't want to spend the money when there are other things more pressing for that cash.

Fri, 2009-01-23 10:21

By far the best thing we've done for our daughter is put her in preschool. Early. Natalia started at a Montessori school when she was just 22-months old. She can't get enough of it. It makes her goofy happy. She goes five days a week for 3 1/2 hours a day. Then she comes home and does what toddlers do: make as much mess and noise as possible: playing, singing, reading, etc. Now that she's fastly approaching 2 1/2 years of age we've thought about putting her in additional activity. But there's really no need. She's thriving in her current schedule.

Plus, my husband and I refuse to be parents that spend all their time in the car taking their kid to one activity to the next one. So in the future if Natalia expresses a desire to get involved in something we will actually sign her up for an extra activity right at school so we don't have to drive all over town. Thank goodness many Montessori schools offer extra stuff for kids.

Tracy
http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com

Fri, 2009-01-23 07:28