I've tried a lot of the things recommended on my 4-year-old daughter.. mostly bribes, making her sit there until she eats it, not letting her spit out food, giving it to her again the next day... and in return I usually get incredulous looks, kicked under the table, a watery disintegration of what was originally food that I let her spit out an hour later, and limp food I wouldn't eat either (in that order). I think my daughter is pretty persistent (read: stubborn), although I'm sure most parents would say that about their kids, and a lot of the forcing methods didn't work, and definitely didn't make her like the food... which is more the ultimate goal than getting her to digest 2 bites of the food... although that's easily forgotten during our dinner table power plays. Anyway, what has worked most consistently for us was a serendipitous occurrence.. I started buying all of our produce locally at a market, where everything smells AMAZING and it's outdoors. My daughter started shopping for our fruits and vegetables with me, and I think the combination of outside, to-die-for aroma, friendly people, and control won her over. Food became less about what I forced down her gullet while we sat in chairs inside at the same time every night, and more about trusting her senses and picking out what smelled the best and participating in her own experience. The first day we went to the market, she ate a carrot, 3 peaches, cantaloupe, and Asian melon. I just kept staring at her like she had lobsters coming out of her ears. The first time I bought grass-fed beef to make bulgolgi, she ate 2 entire pieces voluntarily. This girl that formerly would not eat meat if it was slathered in chocolate and did a little dance. So even if you're not convinced about the particulars of buying local or organic (which I wasn't completely until this wonderful moment we call The Tasting), it's worth a shot to get your kids to actually eat.

We are vegatarian at home (meaning, if we visit a friend who cooks meat, or I get a hankering for chicken at a restaurant, we don't stop ourselves) and we eat from home 90% of the time so the kids do not really have a choice about the veg. We have veg and bean type dishes so often they are used to it. I do respect that our taste buds get worn down over the years. I think that is why my grandma dumps a bottle of salt on her salad. I guess. We, as adults, enjoy more spice and more complex food combos then the kids do. I do not make seperate meals but I might take some of the onion, asparigus, pasta out for the kids before I add extra seasonings for the adult portions. Or I keep the veg and pasta seperate for them. I honestly think the kids can taste better then we can....and do not need all the extra seasoning to make it flavorful. I do ask that they take a bite of something before they decide they do not like it and try to be casual about it when they decided, "oh guess what! I DO like it!" I do not like to make deserts every night, but I always have popcicles in the freezer and they know they can have one if they finish their portions. I make the portions really small and encourage them to get 2nds if they are still hungery. I let them know there is no eating after dinner so they need to make sure they are full before they leave the table. Often my 4 year old skips dinner all together and I just leave her plate out in case she wonders in and says she is hungry anytime before bed time. 25% of the time she does not require any dinner and since she does not complain about being hungry until breakfast, I let it go. Having a 7,6 and 5 year old has made me understand "phases". This too shall pass.

The title of this subject SHOULD BE "Am I making way too big a deal about my child's eating?" People, you are in control of the food that is presented to your child and how much attention you pay to it. Here is the perfect attitude to take toward your child's eating once YOU serve dinner for the whole family...indifference. It doesn't matter whether or not he/she eats veggies, meat, potatoes, spaghetti, etc. This is the food. The next meal will be breakfast which I again will pick and which you again can refuse to eat. But I simply am not going to make this an issue. After breakfast, there will be lunch which I again will pick. Late afternoon here is a small snack which again, I will choose. Next meal...dinner. And here's the good news..whether you follow this advice or not, it doesn't matter truly in the future health of your child. It's only a question of how crazy you want to get about this but just don't complain because it is totally in your hands.

Rebecca, I definitely think you are right about kids having a different palate- I loved food as a child. I'd eat anything. I remember being about 6 and being offered 'cracker barrel cheese' (a sharp cheddar) - I was pretty keen; it was cheese and I loved cheese, and this adult cheese smelled pretty good too. I put it in my mouth and I could not believe, could not believe how incredibly bitter it was. I couldn't conceive of how people could eat it. It was a... bitter disappointment. Ha...ha...ha...ohdear. Anyway, of course, by the time I hit my teens, it no longer tasted bitter at all and now it's one of my favourite supermarket cheeses. Kids tastebuds are quite different and quite more sensitive, I imagine to various tastes. I think if there was a parts per billion taste test comparison between kids and adults, kids would win.

Hi .. I'm a little late on this too so hoping you will read this! btw .. love love love your website! love the panelists and really enjoy watching (and learning from) these video's. I didn't have a chance to read the comments above yet but this is just my take on kids and eating. When I was young, I had one vegetable I would eat: corn from a can! I think I ate that vegetable for 3 yrs straight, every dinner. I had two older sisters, and I'm sure they had similar distastes for other veggies. My mom just made two-three veggies and we took our pick. We were brought up in a very british eating style (say .. boooooring....) mum was not british though so when dad was away we could sometimes have pasta or pizza. But when dad was home meat and potatoes. Anyway, to the point. My parents NEVER ever made us eat anything we didn't like. They never ever re-heated food for another meal if we didn't eat it. I believe I did have a limited palette at a young age but we grew to love food, and now I love ALL foods .. could honestly eat anything, maybe have a slight distain towards calamari and olives, but will eat if necessary! (like at a party or something...). For my son (8) I do the same. I think he is similar to me. He will eat only corn/brocoli/green beans and raw carrots and cucs. That's it for veggies. His palette is growing, he recently eats pb dumplings which a year ago he would have frowned on. A year ago I did say "have a try" and see if he liked it. he didn't, but he got the taste it. The one thing he does not eat yet is salmon. But I hated that as a young child too. I LOVE salmon now, eat it at least twice a week. So I make chicken for him those days, I'm not going to force something he is not ready to eat. I feel that would ruin that food for later, when he's ready. We do have a rule of some veggie and some protien at dinner and really have not had a problem enforcing that. We also allow treat nights of pizza, or hotdogs, something that is not my preference but that makes him happy some of the time. Then I find it's easier to have him give in a little to trying new things we offer him. Bottom line, do what's in your gut, offer maybe 4 or 5 small bits of varied healthy food on the plate and hope they eat half of it. Keep experimenting and you will find that your child will grow to LOVE food! happy eating! Sarah (Montreal)

I'm a week late on posting this, so I won't be surprised if no one happens to read it but... The real problems with young kids eating (or not eating) is control. Sure there are some kids that generally have very limited tastes and don't like a lot of foods, but generally, especially for the kids that ate so many different things and then stopped, it's all about control. The whole world is chaos for a kid, really, they don't get to control anything around them, but they sure can control what they will put in their mouths. Sometimes just giving my son a choice makes a huge difference. Also, with so many things in their lives that they don't understand, or seem so strange to them, eating bland food is a safe zone. They know that through it all that bland food will always be there for them and will not change. It is something for them to expect, to control for themselves. My son also has an autism spectrum disorder, so for him a lot more about texture than taste. I couldn't use the excuse that things weren't healthy enough for him, because he was basically on raw foods for a long time. It was so hard to go to a restaurant because he wouldn't eat anything prepared, so we would have to feed him tomatoes and cucumbers off our salads. What a relief it was when he would eat something so simple as a sandwich! For me winning the battle was all about letting him control more real things in his life. And letting him make choices about food, meaning 2 dinner options for the whole family, even if he didn't want them, he was going to pick and option, and eat it because it was "his" choice.

I had to laugh at Rebecca's comments about Cheerios, because I LIVED on Cheerios and milk as a kid. I was an extremely picky eater. My main foods of choice were Cheerios, PB&Js, mac & cheese, and Taco Bell tacos. I ate a few other things (plain spaghetti, plain rice, apples, raw carrots, plain iceberg lettuce) but there were far more foods I refused to touch than ones I'd eat. If a food felt funny in my mouth or smelled bad, even if it tasted good, I wouldn't eat it. No, not *wouldn't* - I COULDN'T eat it. I wished for years that I liked apple pie because it smelled so good and you ate it with ice cream and everyone else liked it...but I didn't learn to like it till I was an adult. I hated being so picky, hated that I ate so differently from most kids, but it wasn't something I was able to change till I was much older. I'm 34 years old and when my mom sees me eating and enjoying onions and beans and cauliflower she still shakes her head a little in disbelief. That's how bad the picky years were. Now, I love all kinds of food. By the time I was in high school, I'd broadened my diet considerably, at least to the point where I could eat some foods I disliked to be polite. And by the time I hit my 20s, I was eating a much, MUCH wider variety of foods. I think a lot of it had to do with learning to cook for myself, which meant I could prepare food the way I liked. I learned that I didn't dislike spinach or peas completely, I just didn't like the canned versions (which we always ate when I was growing up). I might not like chop suey from a can, but I love all different kinds of stir-fry. My mom was pretty good about not pushing me to eat when I was a kid. She tried to always make sure there was at least one thing I liked on the dinner table, and I had to eat a bite or two of everything else, but then I was allowed to say "no thanks" to the rest. I was allowed to make myself PB&Js and bowls of Cheerios when I was old enough to do so, too.

This topic is so timely for us. My six-year-old daughter is a picky eater, esp. when it comes to vegetables or protein. My husband was raised in a home where kids sat at the table until they finished all the food on their plate, and so he's inclined to try that ... but I am concerned about creating issues around food, eating disorders, whatever, by making too big a deal over it. I vaguely remember reading about some research along those lines. Anyone else remember anything like that?

For those of you with picky eaters who used to eat anything...think back to when it all changed. Most likely its not about the food, its about *control* over their own bodies and beings. This starts around age 2. Food is not a battleground. It is nutrition and sustenance. Period. Its not a reward, or comfort, or a bargaining tool. There should be no reward for eating, and food itself shouldn't be a reward. Eating is what we do when our bodies need to refuel. Making it about anything else sets them - and you - up for a lifetime of food issues. YOU decide what and when, THEY decide if and how much. If they don't eat dinner, they'll be good and hungry at breakfast. If your kid is a big eater early in the day, then make breakfast or lunch a big deal. Dinner doesn't have to be the most substantial meal of the day. The only *rule* worth enforcing is that each food item be tasted. One bite. They don't have to like it or finish it...they just have to try it. Once they figure out your unemotional attitude is "eat or don't eat. Your choice. Next meal is breakfast tomorrow" they'll stop bargaining. Put less food on their plates. 2 or 3 bites at most of any particular item. If they are still hungry they'll ask for more. They can have more of any item as long as they clear their plate. Just a few generations ago, there were so many less food choices. You got oatmeal or eggs for breakfast. Lunch was soup or a sandwich. Dinner was meat & potatoes. Food wasn't marketed as "fun" for kids. "Fast food" was a piece of fruit eaten on the go. We expect our kids to eat a wide variety, when in fact even we weren't provided the same variety. How many of you had parents who made a separate meal for you? How 'adventurous' were your food choices?

One day our son decided he no longer liked broccoli. The next time we served it, I REFUSED to give him any, insisting that since he didn't like it, we we surely not going to waste anything that good on him. He spent the rest of that dinner whinging that we never feed him. And we haven't had any more veggie issues. Anything he doesn't like, we simply refuse him, in a very public, very exclusive way. It piques his curiosity, and since the boy can't stand missing out on anything we win. So does he, technically. A little, "You don't want this. It's way too good for you!" worked wonders for us. The baby, however, refused to eat anything until she was 18 months old. And when I say she refused to eat, I mean the girl swallowed nothing. It took her two and a half months to get back to her birth weight (which, granted, was a very fat 10.5 lbs, but still). Finally we gave up, figuring she wasn't going to let herself starve to death (and yes, we went through every medical exam possibly before caving just to be sure there was nothing physically wrong first). She didn't, and now that she's two she eats fairly well. And the middle child is a table-side-waste-disposal-unit. Bless her. Just wish I had her metabolism....