Babysitters Needed: How Young Is Too Young to Babysit?

I refused to have a babysitter for my brother and me when I was 10, so I stayed home alone six nights a week while my mother worked. My brother was three and I was mean as shite to him. He was my remote control; his job was to change the channels on the t.v. By the time I was 12, I was babysitting for my mother's girlfriend's children. It was a business, and the process made me decide never to have children, not because of the kids, but because of the mothers, who were basically all single downtrodden mothers involved with abusive men.

Despite that early decision, I have two sons. Finding childcare was a harrowing experience. My oldest had 15 different childcare people in his first two years. Some tidbits: #1 was a nanny from Denmark (found in flagrante delicto on my couch). #2 was Ildiko from Hungary. She graduated from Ho Chi Minh teacher's college, and I liked her. She got married. Somewhere in there was a Filipino lady who showed up to work with her husband. I thought that was weird, and fired her. Mrs. Samuels was excellent, had to go to work because her husband's illness had sucked up their retirement. She was very religious with a tendency to proselytize, but so good with my son I ignored it until the day I stubbed my toe and he ran over and put hands of my foot, closed his eyes and said, "In the name of the Lord, heal this toe!" She also made no secret of the fact that she didn't approve of me working.

Finding the occasional babysitter was even more difficult. I asked a neighbor once for a reference (she had a child around my son's age). She shot me a worried look and told me she wouldn't share her 'Mormon' girls, cause then what if she needed them, but I'd already booked them?

Wut?

Sandra
www.bloodmother.com

Thu, 2009-11-05 13:44

As a parent who hires babysitters, our rule is they need to be a responsible driver. If for no other reason than I can't drive a sitter home if the kids are sleeping.

Wed, 2009-11-04 14:34

Confessions of a Teenage Babysitter:

I use family members and close friends for babysitting because I was a teenage babysitter. Like Giyen's daughter I was desperate for jobs, and couldn't wait for someone to put me in charge. Unbeknowst to me I was not ready, but I talked a good game. Between the ages of 13-15, some parents in my neighborhood were so desperate for a cheap babysitter that I ran a muck. I was fun and loved the kids, but if some of those parents knew the things I'd done to this day they'd probably be angry.

First of all I wasn't confident enough to set my own price; that should have been an indication of unpreparedness right there. "Whatever you think is fair" I'd say, and end up getting $4 for 6 hours. When I went back (like an idiot), knowing I'd be underpaid, I took out my frustrations on unsuspecting parents' refrigerators, eating anything that wasn't nailed down. When I got bored with that I'd go snooping; even having the kids navigate my way through their parents closets and drawers. On good days I was the doting replacement mother with a heart of gold and the patience of a saint, but on other days I was the evil babysitter who terrorized the brat that I felt wasn't respecting my authority- maybe even pulling on a ponytail or two. Shriek!

When I got a little older, more cheapo parents started suggesting that I allow their kids to do overnites at my house. I rarely said 'no' to jobs because looking back, I was probably just a passive aggresive doormat. The kids always loved me (because I was a kid), and until the parents were gone, I projected complete rationality. At 15 my parents could go away on weekends, because they too saw me as the responsible kid I was, but it was only true to a degree. I was responsible enough to cover my tracks. When they were gone, I could do an overnite job and have a party at the same time. A tablespoon of Nyquil and a closed bedroom door took care of the kid for the night. The next day I'd have friends with a great story, as well as $30 to $50 cash. Basically, no kids or teens will be babysitting for me, lest my karma come back and bite me square in the @ss.

A kid with enough determination to get certified is probably a safe bet. It's not so much about the training as it is about fully comprehending the importance of having someone's child in your care. Though I know they exist, I don't believe every other teenager (due to the nature of their age) fully comprehends the importance of child care... I think it's probably closer to every 50th- if that. I'm guessing of course. Just because a teen thinks they're ready for that type of responsibility doesn't mean they are- the same goes for driving. Wanting to is not the same as being ready.

Wed, 2009-11-04 12:57

I started babysitting in middle school and then throughout high school and even some of college, by which point I had a pager (oooh technology) and the people I babysat for had internet... and yet it all still worked out fine. It really does just depend on the babysitter.

I don't know any babysitters who have/had CPR/Heimlich training or certification. In fact, I know very few parents who do. Sure, it would be very reassuring and helpful but is it a dealbreaker if the teen is otherwise very responsible and knowledgeable about what to do in an emergency? It's hard to say. I would probably feel much, much better knowing someone who knows CPR is watching my child but if someone hadn't mentioned it, I'm not sure it would have crossed my mind.

Wed, 2009-11-04 09:49

Is it that kids are different now? Or is it that parenting standards are different? I started babysitting when I was 11, and I was fine (so were the kids). Granted, I did take a babysitting course, but I was watching three kids at a time for four or five hours at a time.

I agree with Asha. It's a case-by-case judgement call.

Wed, 2009-11-04 08:31

I'm the oldest kid and grandkid and so I was always left to babysit a bunch of kids, probably from about age 12. When I was 14, I was left alone with a 4 week old OVERNIGHT. At 14! It was my aunt, but still. At 16 I was left with a 4 year old and a 3 week old, the neighbors who I had never met. And it went all right, but there's not a chance in hell I'd have left my 3 week old son with a 16 year old, especially not with a 4 year old to distract her.

I was having this conversation with a friend a while back, and we were like, why did they trust us? It really did boggle us. And I think it has a lot to do with how distracted teens seem to be this time around. We didn't have cell phones, the people we babysat for didn't have Internet access in their home, and they *only* had like 50 channels on TV, it was a whole different ballgame. However, like Asha mentioned, there are some kids that really are very responsible from a young age and could definitely handle it. And maybe when my son is older I'll feel better about it, but right now? I'll take the professional and the adult.

Wed, 2009-11-04 07:09

My Non-bio daughter was the same way. She couldn't wait to start babysitting. And it wasn't about the money. It was about the responsibility and the independence, which scared the crap out of me, but I also loved that she wanted to take that step.

But before she could accept a babysitting gig, we had some rules:

1. Take the Red Cross Babysitting class and become certified in First Aid and CPR
2. Be responsible for your own jobs (meaning mom and dad aren't going to find the work for you), although I do recommend her on a regular basis whenever the topic comes up.

So, she took the class which is such a huge selling point in our neighborhood and she designed and printed business cards. The cards list her age and certifications, as well as ALL of her phone numbers (our house, mom's house and cell) and email address, so clients can get a hold of her directly. She took a handful of cards, put magnets on them, hand wrote introductory notes to a bunch of different families in our neighborhood and delivered them in person. It was a lot of work, but she is now the go-to girl for a lot of families. Also, whenever she babysits for someone new (via referral, which is the best kind of business to get), she slaps a magnetic business card on their fridge for future reference.

She turns 17 next month and now has her driver's license and regular access to a car (and has saved enough babysitting money over the past few years to buy her own car, which we are currently on the hunt for). She just updated her business cards to say that she can now provide her own transportation, which is also a huge selling point.

When she was younger, like 13, she started off doing a "mother's helper" type of thing where she would watch the kids while one parent was at home, working, cleaning, gardening etc., and eventually worked up to full-time independent babysitting.

Her dad and I have also threatened her within an inch of her life that she cannot text, or be on the phone AT ALL while she is babysitting. While I don't know for sure if she abides by that rule, I do know it hasn't been a problem.

@BeingSuper
www.BeingSuper.com

Wed, 2009-11-04 06:10

I remember baby-sitting in junior high and looking back, I was probably unprepared. I didn't know CPR or the Hemlich maneuver. I was only allowed to baby-sit for people my parents knew, but in my small town, the only babysitters were family or junior high/high school kids.The same is still true in the small town I moved to. We haven't used any babysitters yet because I don't know many girls that are in junior high or high school. Our friends all have kids close in age to my kids and they aren't old enough to do it yet. I think more kids now take classes in babysitting so if I know them and know they are responsible I don't have a problem with it. There aren't nannies around here so we use my mom and dad for late nights and a local daycare has started a datenight daycare program where they do it one night a month from 5-11 so moms and dads can go out, which works for us currently. My bigger problem is that I have 2 kids and 2 dogs. I do know one girl who isn't comfortable around dogs so I don't ask her to babysit because I think that just adds stress to a situation that I don't want to be stressful.

Wed, 2009-11-04 05:59