September 13, 2009
Birth control: whether it's abstinence, condoms, the pill, or prayer, we all use it. If we didn't, we'd each get our own reality TV show (26... and Crying!). But as common as contraceptives are, we really don't spend a ton of time discussing our choices and the pros and cons of the methods available to us. Do you use a condom with a long-term partner? Anyone pick up the Today Sponge now that it's back on the market? Did Depo-Provera cause you to gain weight? Rebecca Woolf of Girl's Gone Child wants to know, "What birth control do you use, and do you like it?"
What contraceptives do you use? What works for you; what hasn't? Is there any birth control methods you'd absolutely not recommend? Join the Momversation by commenting below.
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56 Comments
Hjuasdfasef
Thu, 2010-03-04 10:47
Hjuasdfasef
Wed, 2010-03-03 18:12
Condoms plus spermicde have been our contraceptive choice and for over twenty five years on and off ( we have conceived first month every time with our four children), they have given us 100% reliability.I have never wanted my wife to use hormone or I.U.Ds (so many women complain about side effects from these) we have always enjoyed putting on our condoms (getting ready), for our earth shattering sex together!!!!!!!!
Wed, 2010-01-13 15:05
Thank you ladies for the much needed conversation about contraception! It's great that you've all found methods that work for you (including getting married and having kids). Lol.
Thu, 2009-12-24 07:00
Hi
My DH got the snip 2.5 yrs ago. While we were dating I was on the Pill AND using condoms.
He volunteered even before we had kids because he doesn't like condoms and didn't want me to be full of chemicals either just to stop one egg a month from being released. I didn't feel good on the Pill and never wanted the IUD (no matter how sophisticated).
Then after we had 3 kids in 4 years, we needed a 100% effective method so when our youngest was 2, he went for it! We are done.
As a teen, I remember watching a big documentary about Depo and it completely turned me against considering it as an option. Does anyone remember the Female Condoms? Oh dear, it was embarrassing enough buying condoms but the thought of having a 'plastic bag' inside you was just beyond me!
I breastfed my youngest child exclusively for 20 months and my OB/GYN always warned me that at most she would say it's effective contraception for 2 months only (like you would be having sex within 2 months of giving birth????). On the rare occasion (there were 2 toddlers as well at that time...) we did have sex, I just relied on the calendar for calculation. It was strange for a long while to be actively NOT trying to get pregnant as we initially had minor fertility issues.
Fri, 2009-11-20 10:54
So, there I was, back on the pill since shortly after my son was born five and a half years ago, when my OBGYN calls me last May to tell me I need to go off the pill because I am being treated for high blood pressure. Like, I was on BOTH for over a year!!!! Oh my gosh! I increased my chances of heart attack and/or stroke over a hundredfold!
So, off I go to buy condoms and plan how I am going to make the ligation happen over the summer so it won't conflict with my school year job (teaching), my summer job (blogging type thing from home) and grad school (which pretty much never really ends). Went to the class my provider requires. And then ended up being kind of ambivalent and opting for the Mirena IUD instead.
Long story short, I now HATE condoms, because they didn't seem to be as fun as when I was a teenager, and I really need to contact my OBGYN because I have yet to have a period since getting the Mirena "installed" last month. Hmm.
Mon, 2009-09-21 21:39
I should have mentioned that my husband is more than happy to get another vasectomy . . . yes, he had one before, and we paid a lot of money to get it reversed so we could have our son. But here I am thinking it's such a shame to undo that masterful artwork that unblocked his pipes. And all that money we paid!
Tue, 2009-09-22 22:40
Hi, momversationalists! This is my first comment, and for the record, I'm childfree and will remain so, because I got a tubal ligation when I was 29. But I enjoy watching these vids because you're all so smart and funny (oh, and also so pretty, how can you ALL be so pretty?), and I find the conversations interesting even as someone who never wanted kids and will never have them.
Anyhow -- I finally signed up here because I want to make a case AGAINST Depo Provera. I had an allergic reaction to the pill, so my doctor suggested Depo, which seemed to work for a while. But it killed -- and I mean KILLED -- my sex drive, which up until that point had been pretty healthy. I stayed on Depo for five years, and I finally went off it because, not only were my long-term boyfriend and I unhappy about the fact that I had zero libido, I also had suspicions about what it was doing to my body. I was lucky to avoid major weight gain, but I do maintain that Depo caused me to become hypothyroid...which unfortunately is a bit more difficult to shake than a few extra pounds. I know my theory might sound a bit hippy-dippy-holistic, but while I have great faith in many aspects of conventional Western medicine, I also believe that messing around with the body's complex hormonal chemistry is one area in which most doctors are far too cavalier.
I know a lot of people love Depo, and I'll confess that until its side-effects became clear to me, I was one of them. It was convenient, fuss-free, and even more effective than the pill. (Of course, I think that's partly a side-side-effect of the libido drop.) But I would never, ever, ever recommend it to any of my friends or family, and I just wanted to share that here, too. (Sorry for the lengthy post I required to do it!)
Thu, 2009-09-17 20:02
I'm now 16 weeks postpartum. I have two girls now and I am DONE DONE DONE. At 7 weeks I got a Mirena and at 12 weeks I had it removed. I used Mirena after my first pregnancy too, but I didn't recognize the BAD BAD side effects until this time around with it. I was practically homicidal within days of having it inserted. Horribly depressed, extraordinarily moody, acne, unbelievably tired (more than normal while breastfeeding and potty training another)... it was awful. I made my doc do bloodwork to prove I wasn't sick somehow. I'll leave out the page full of details but when it finally occurred to me that Mirena was the culprit, out it came. It took 2-3 weeks for my body to come back to normal - to enjoy my new baby again. I'm very sad to have missed out on several weeks of what could have been much happier for us all. They say it's a low hormone dose and that it stays in the uterus, but read the fine print. Do not use if prone to depression. Depo Provera - used it many years ago, loved the no periods, gained 30 pounds (that might have been all the Taco Bell.) My husband will be getting snipped or not gettin' any. End of story.
Wed, 2009-09-16 22:05
Love this topic!!
We are vasectomy all the way in our house! Hubby went in for the consult when we were still pregnant with our third - we were THAT SURE we didn't want to do it again! Heather we are with you on this one!! The doctors did made us wait until the baby was born before going ahead with the procedure! So, I accompanied my hubby to the doctor office with our one month old! We recovered together.
It was THE BEST thing that we have done. I agree with MSBWell that it is so much FUN now post-"v". Never any worries about....well....anything! If you are SURE that you are done, and hubby agrees and is an able (if not willing) participant, a vasectomy is the way to go!
Wed, 2009-09-16 12:52
I started out on the pill, but after a horrendous experience, I had a HEART ATTACK at 25. Undiagnosed high BP, and all of that estrogen... bad time. After that I was given 2 options medically, either Mirena IUD or Depo Provera shot. I didn't have the money to have the IUD... Rebecca I feel your pain about the cost! So I chose to go with the shot every 3 months. I love it. I had a Nurse once give me the shot at my previous doctor, and she said 'you know this shot makes you gain weight'. I was FLABBERGASTED. 1. I know I'm overweight, thanks 2. The pill? Yeah, heart attack honey. 3. STFU.
On a side note, my niece took Yaz Birth Control pill and she ended up with blood clots and colitis (at 17) and is also currently getting the shots. Both of these things happening have made up my mind for the future, and should I have a daughter I would NOT put her on any sort of pill. At all. There are other effective medicinal practices other then the pill, with far less risk.
Tue, 2009-09-15 18:44
I want to have another child in the next year or two (only have 1) so I'm not to sure about the IUD. I can't take the pill because I was one of the lucky few to get blood clots. So as sad as it is...we don't have sex. Nada. Once I have my second child it's IUD all the way!
Tue, 2009-09-15 16:36
People tend to overlook the diaphragm. I myself can't use any kind of hormones (they not only kill all my libido (which I think many women don't realize, if they started taking it young) but also make me Hate All People). Have found the diaphragm a good choice, because it has the ability to plan a bit ahead (and thus not have to fumble for a wrapper in the heat of the action) combined with higher reliability (comparable to the pill if you're consistent, as with anything else). I'm probably as uptight about fussing Down There as anybody, and I've had no problem.
Of course, as many have mentioned, having a toddler is our main method right now. Ack!!
Tue, 2009-09-15 12:25
i use to like the diaphragm, but then it started giving me yeast infections.
Tue, 2009-09-15 13:26
I am not in a relationship and don't need to have a form of BC right now. When I do need something I use condoms until I can get on the pill and be on it for a full month, before we quit using condoms.
Tue, 2009-09-15 11:48
We used condoms for used and never had issues. After two kids, I was done. I have a clotting disorder and can only use Depo Provera and an IUD. I tried Mirena and had bad side effects so then I tried Depo. Bad side effects when you come off it, but otherwise it was worthwhile. I've had Essure (like a tubal ligation without the OR room visit) placed and absolutely love it. There are no worries about every having any more babies!
Tue, 2009-09-15 11:17
Just before getting married I started reacting badly to the pill, Massive PMS and not wanting to make my husband regret his decision or worse send him screaming away down the road I decided to go off the pill. As we were getting married very soon we didn't want to meddle with anymore hormonal stuff so we chose to use condoms. Two months into the marriage one broke. It was one of those weird moments where you feel like you are in a movie, we just looked at each other and said, "NO, It'll be alright, this can't mean we're...". 9 months latter we had our first child.
Ok, so after she was born I thought we are going to take this contraception thing seriously. I got an implant in my arm something the doc. assured me was fool proof. It was I didn't stop bleeding and having cramps the whole time I was on it, Doc said " I was right you didn't get pregnant" (Doc. humour, worse than Dad jokes). I of course had it out and as I was still breast feeding chose the mini pill. The day my girl turned 1 I found out I was pregnant again. Ok, great didn't want her to be alone but I was a little freaked that I got pregnant on the pill. Doc. said I mustn’t have been taking it regularly. So after the birth of my son we bought an alarm clock. 6mth later while taking the mini pill, REGULARLY I was pregnant again. Now Doc looks at me and says, "Hmmm, maybe the mini pill just passes though your system to quickly", Thanks for that.
I'm not really angry, always wanted kids, just not 3 under 3.
We have had no. 4 now (we chose to) I think we're done I just don't know what to do, I don't want any more surprises he wants a vasectomy but how do you know if you are ready for something that permanent?? How do you know you won't regret it??
Mon, 2009-09-14 21:18
My husband and I both knew...in our heart of hearts, that we didn't want more children. We talked about it for nearly a year.
We imagined what our family would be like if we remained a family of three.
We imagined what our family would be like if we added a second child.
We thought about finances, about our work schedules, about future career plans, about our housing situation.
And after that we just knew, without a doubt, that we were ready to make birth control permanent.
So I think you just need to talk it out. I figure, if a women is willing to do something as long-term as an IUD, why not just do a little more soul-searching and think about vas as well?
Like I said, a man needs to step up and make decisions WITH his partner. It's his reproductive future, too.
Tue, 2009-09-15 12:10
I've done just about everything over the years-- the pill, condoms, a diaphragm (hated it), depo shots...until my husband got a vasectomy. It was such a simple procedure...no side effects, no worries, not a big deal for him. Yes, there is a one in a million (I'm exaggerating, but it's really low) chance of failure, but we're not worried about those minuscule odds.
I feel bad for women whose husbands won't at least entertain the idea of vasectomy -- do some research and at least talk about it. Why are women always the ones making sacrifices and concessions (which usually involve ingesting dangerous hormones or having copper wire inserted inside them) while the men simply enjoy the benefits of sex without pregnancy?
I'm not saying all men need to get vasectomies, but men do need to step up and at least investigate their options. A marriage (or any long-term relationship) should be about working together.
Mon, 2009-09-14 19:32
I used the pill problem-free for 10 years before having my son. Then I used the mini-pill while I nursed, again, no issue. Now I'm back on the pill and it's an awful hormonal train wreck. This Momversation has come at exactly the right time. I need a new answer and I need it now. But nothing permanent, we want a second child for sure, and possibly a third. Also, I'm going to play the hippie card here, condoms are SO WASTEFUL PEOPLE. But other than that, I'm sure they're fine. Considering IUD at this point.
Mon, 2009-09-14 18:25
This is quite a conundrum for me lately. My son is 15 weeks old today and I'm certainly not ready to get pregnant with another one. If I had two in diapers, I'd be one of those drinking moms everyone was talking about a few days ago.
Prior to my pregnancy we used condoms only, and that worked fine for us. Now, I think we're a little spoiled and condoms sometimes feel like a mood breaker.
In reality, we have such a finite window for sex with an infant. Sometimes his nap is an hour long, sometimes it's 20 minutes. We want to make the most of the time, and stopping everything to get a condom wastes precious seconds of my "consenting adults" time.
We've talked about our options, and I may end up on the mini-pill, as I plan to breastfeed until he's at least a year old. The sponge, diaphragms, Nuva ring, etc. may all be wonderful, but I have this vision of losing it and having to beg my husband to try to find it. Even thinking of it now, I'm blushing.
Mon, 2009-09-14 18:06
just to continue my theme as MS CONDOM... but mood breaker, really? kind of thing of being married as the real mood breaker.
Tue, 2009-09-15 13:25
The pill failed me! I know too many people who have gotten pregnant while popping the pill. It is not trust worthy! And, it made me a really miserable and mean person...
We are going through a miscarriage now, so our birth control is simply not having sex. When we are ready to have sex but it's still not quite time to safely start trying to conceive again... we'll probably go with puke ...condoms. I really hate condoms... yes I used them like a religion before I was married, but now they just make me feel gross. However, until it is safe for us to try again, that will probably be our route...
Sat, 2009-11-21 21:49
Really? No one else has mentioned Depo Provera yet? Because I love it. I never thought I would be one of those chicks who is all, I LOVE MY BIRTH CONTROL. But now I am. One shot every three months. It's that easy. Plus, I know this can vary between women, but no periods for me. I haven't experienced any side effects at all. The only extra thing I do is take calcium because the Depo can leach it from your body. But hey, it's a good idea to take calcium anyway, right? :)
Mon, 2009-09-14 15:18
I once went on Depo and it did some extremely crazy things to me. I gained lots of weight, had hot-flashes, and got extremely angry. I did love the no period part tho. I think it just works on different women different ways in the end.
Tue, 2009-09-15 16:45
If you want more kids, i recommend the NuvaRing. I LOVED that thing. I had to set a reminder on my calendar to take it out and put it back in of course, cuz the children stole my brain so i can't remember it on my own, but it was really no-hassle and worked like a charm. After we had kid #2 I felt the same as Heather - never again - not maybe - never..never..never. So the husband got the vas and while he complaned for awhile about lingering discomfort I think he's back to ok now - part of me is afraid to ask because of the whining that follows - but I think it was our best solution. I'm off the ring and waiting to see if aunt flo will again be a *$(^% or if pregnancy calmed her a bit. I agree that the sex is worry free and fun now - since I insisted he get tested twice before we went off all bc...
Mon, 2009-09-14 15:16
I use Mirena. It pretty much rocks, except that it costs so much. And...they don't really know HOW it works...just that it DOES? Yeah. I expect we'll go the vasectomy route when we know we're done (we only have one child now) but Mirena is actually just as effective as a vasectomy (which aren't foolproof, who knew?) and reversible. I've never actually used a condom. Well, once. But just because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Not too exciting, really. And when I was on the pill I was on Yasmin. I miss that stuff and how beautiful my skin was. Sigh. Can't breastfeed on the pill, ladies. And I hear the mini pill is WAY hormoney.
Mon, 2009-09-14 15:08
I love the idea of Taking Control of Your Fertility, but it won't work for everyone. I have a 21 day cycle, and sperm is viable for too many days for that to be a reasonable method for me. I come from fertile stock. My mother decided to use Natural Family Planning instead of other birth control when she was told she was premenopausal....3 months later my mom was pregnant. And I know my mother, she is the most organized and on-the-ball person I have ever known. She kept calendars and temperatures and logs multiple times a day. I am not taking a gamble with that. I know some people have a problem with the suspected abortifacient aspect of IUDs, but a lot of research shows The Pill also acts as an abortifacient and I was already on the pill. After I had my son, it was so much harder for me to remember to take a birth control pill everyday, and since I managed to conceive my son with perfect use of the pill, I knew I needed a new method. When I got my IUD, my doctor said to me, "Now you call me immediately if you manage to get pregnant on this, you will be my first patient ever!" The IUD works for me, and since getting it I have had three friends get them too, and they all love it.
Mon, 2009-09-14 14:00
Funniest Momversation to DATE! For real. All of ya! Oh my gosh! Sooo funny. Heather...peeing my pants laughing! You be careful...you may just look at your hubby and end up pregnant! Just back away...don't look in his direction. (jokes!)
Ok so here's our big prevention. Umm...withdrawl method. I know I KNOW! CRRRRRAZY! But condoms do bad things to my personal girl. And so does spermicides. And we had a hard time getting pregnant and I didn't want to go on the pill in case that hindered it a bit. So yeah... withdraw! Been doing it that way for...oh 1 1/2 years now and no baby. But my disclaimer is...that at one point I did feel like...okay if I got pregnant by accident now...it'd be okay.
Oh and I thought of the minerva thingy (which holy moly $1500!!! it's only $400 here because most health care plans cover it...that's a bummer Rebecca but I'm sure worth it right??) but figured we'd start soon enough so why spend the money.
Mon, 2009-09-14 12:55
yeah, but if you are not ok with getting pregnant that is russian roulette
Tue, 2009-09-15 13:22