Did You Take Your Husband's Name?

I decided not to take my husband's name after typing my maiden name into multiple search engines. It turned out that I am the only person in the universe (at least as far as Google knows) with my name. Aside from being a fun fact this singularity has become somewhat helpful in a business context.

What's more, my parents' last name is hyphenated already so adding another name borders on the ridiculous. Having a different name from my husband was not really an issue for the first years of our marriage.

Now we are parents and I don't share my daughter's last name. In travel this is a slight inconvenience as I need proof of our relationship. I just carry a copy of her birth certificate. As she grows, I don't know if it will become more of an issue emotionally or practically. I would be interested to know how other mothers tackle the parent/child name difference.

Thu, 2010-03-04 11:59

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I took my husbands last name for a few reasons.
1. It was just more simple. Having a few names gets complicated.
2. I just liked the sound of it better than my old name! haha
3. Most importantly, I WANTED to change my identity. I was never happy with my past or the person I was. When I met my husband I became a whole new better person. While I didn't like the idea of becoming "his", I really liked the idea of a whole new name. I was ready to leave the kid-Sheena behind.

I totally understand not wanting to feel "given away" or like property. Thing is though, I don't think it would matter who's name we took, I'm still clearly the boss. :) I don't feel that the name change is what puts one spouse above the other, it's more in how they handle their relationship.

Tue, 2010-03-02 07:36

I knew a couple in college who, when they got married, BOTH changed their names to a new last name - Ruby, the stone for the month in which their marriage occurred. I'd always loved that idea.

Sun, 2010-02-28 14:11

I don't think the convention of hyphenating is very well thought through. I don't want to saddle my descendants with two-to-the-nth-power-minus-one hyphens in their names. And hyphenating the mother's name and naming the kids after the father seems no solution at all.

We invented a brand new last name, by combining half of each of our names into a pleasing new last name. Now we're the only three people in the world with that last name, and it's better than either of our previous names.

Thu, 2010-02-25 02:00

One warning for sphere (who gave her son two last names): be sure to have him figure names out by the time he files taxes. I have four names: my given, my middle, my mom's last name, and my dad's last name. They're married but each kept their own (and my dad sincerely wishes he had changed his name to my mom's, but each of their names sounds better with their respective last names). I went through life assuming that my dad's last name was my legal one but using both last names in a non-hyphenated form for anything informal (plays, sports, with friends, and even on school assignments). Passport, driver's license, etc were all with my dad's last name as mine. The first time I filed taxes, I found out that Social Security has me listed with both last names! I had to straighten it all out. Wasn't too difficult, but it was a pain. I ended up switching my name with social security (and not paying the fee), since it was easier than switching on every other record I have.

I like using both last names, but it does give the difficulty of what to do when I get married. I'll probably keep my own names but not care if someone calls me "Mrs. HisName." As for kids? ugh, no idea. I would LOVE to marry someone who would take my name, or come up with a new name with me, but he's not sure how he feels about that. We'll have to discuss with kids. One thing I have seen is that the male kids get dad's last name and the female kids get mom's last name, so that's a possible good compromise.

Mon, 2010-02-22 10:41