October 11, 2009
Some women still get disapproving looks when they state that they didn't take their husband's last name. "Oh," some people sneer, "Are you one of those feminists? Did you do it for your career?" Ugh. It seems that in nearly 2010 (OMG, 2010!), not taking a spouse's name would be no big deal, just as taking your husband's name is no biggie. (Of course, we also thought women would earn equal pay by now... but that's a different story). So, did you go old school and take your hubby's name? Or did you kick it new stylee by keeping your maiden name? Rebecca Woolf of Girl's Gone Child wants to know, "Did you take your husband's last name? Why or why not?"
Did you change your name when you got married? Did you get schmack for your decision? And what do you think of people who either keep their names or change them? Join the Momversation by commenting below.
You might also be interested in...
Best of Momversation
Did You Take Your Husband's Name?
Some women still get disapproving looks when they state that they didn't take their husband's last name. …
Childfree by Choice
There's a growing movement across the blogosphere of people who have chosen to remain childless. …
Is Circumcision Wrong?
It's a tough decision that every American mother of a baby boy has to make: to circumcise or not…
Are You Concerned About Vaccinations?
When you hear the word "vaccine," do you immediately think of the word "autism?" …
Favorite Quotes
Alice
On behalf of the parents of autistic children I know, Jenny McCarthy can go &*$% herself.
Doctors or Parents: Who Do You Trust More?
Asha
I can't plan anything a year in advance. I certainly can't plan 365 meals, nor would I ever want to.
Meal Planning for a Year: Crazy Talk?
Dana
We've been conditioned to think that only one way is acceptable.
Life Experiences: Do They Count as Education?
Daphne
My husband is not Mr. Romantic, but that's OK because he can fix the tires on a stroller.
Valentine's Day: Is It Important to You?
Giyen
Sometimes it works out great, and sometimes she wants the $195 flat iron.
Thankful: How Do You Teach Your Kids to Be Grateful?
Heather
Heather, it's going to be your duty to teach our daughter about her cheeseburger.
Private Parts: Do You Have Cutesy Names for Them?
Heather
When you have something wrong with your child's health, a lot of parents need to cling to something.
Vaccines and Autism: Debate Over?
Jessica
The reality is if you have kids at your house often enough, the accidents will happen.
Accidents Happen: When Someone Else's Kid Gets Hurt on Your Watch
Karen
My husband is the gadgety person. My God, that man has gadgets. And they never work. What is that?
Gotta-Have Gadget: What's Yours?
Maggie
Your 6 week old is not interested in anything but light and shadow.
Mindy
Americans eat too much. Eat half!
Rebecca
What I really want to accomplish is raising children who are advocates for themselves.























151 Comments
I did not take my husband's last name--had never even thought to do it. For me, keeping part of my culture and tradition was important to me--my husband is Caucasian and I'm Asian American. In fact, in Chinese culture women don't even take on their husband's name so there was no pressure on my side! I still get pointed cards and letters written to us from my husband's Midwest relatives addressed to me + my husband's name as if they wished I had taken his name, but I just laugh it off. By the way, I'd love to see more cultural diversity in your panelists, for relevant topics like this in particular. Thanks, loved the momversation!
Thu, 2010-03-11 17:46
I decided not to take my husband's name after typing my maiden name into multiple search engines. It turned out that I am the only person in the universe (at least as far as Google knows) with my name. Aside from being a fun fact this singularity has become somewhat helpful in a business context.
What's more, my parents' last name is hyphenated already so adding another name borders on the ridiculous. Having a different name from my husband was not really an issue for the first years of our marriage.
Now we are parents and I don't share my daughter's last name. In travel this is a slight inconvenience as I need proof of our relationship. I just carry a copy of her birth certificate. As she grows, I don't know if it will become more of an issue emotionally or practically. I would be interested to know how other mothers tackle the parent/child name difference.
Thu, 2010-03-04 11:59
Ewgwergjhvw
Thu, 2010-03-04 10:45
Lomwefgbnbv
Wed, 2010-03-03 18:11
http://kademarg7.spruz.com/Side-Effects-Of-Tadalafil.htm Side Effects Of Tadalafil
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:22
http://kademarg7.spruz.com/Side-Effects-Of-Tadalafil.htm Side Effects Of Tadalafil
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:22
http://gunillab7.spruz.com/Allegra-D.htm Allegra D
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:22
http://rkuro1973.spruz.com/Xanax-Bars-Come-In-Yellow.htm Xanax Bars Come In Yellow
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:22
http://kademarg7.spruz.com/Buy-Cheap-Cialis.htm Buy Cheap Cialis
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:08
http://gunillab7.spruz.com/Ambien-Suicide.htm Ambien Suicide
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:12
http://rnicu0636.spruz.com/Paypal-Vicodin.htm Paypal Vicodin
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:12
http://rkuro1973.spruz.com/Buy-Ativan.htm Buy Ativan
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:12
http://kademarg7.spruz.com/Lamisil.htm Lamisil
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:12
http://rnicu0636.spruz.com/Paypal-Vicodin.htm Paypal Vicodin
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:12
http://gunillab7.spruz.com/Ambien-Suicide.htm Ambien Suicide
Wed, 2010-03-03 00:12
http://kademarg7.spruz.com/Sildenafil-Citrate.htm Sildenafil Citrate
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:58
http://rkuro1973.spruz.com/Long-Term-Ambien.htm Long Term Ambien
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:58
http://my.pantagraph.com/post/CheapMed55/blog/female_use_of_viagra.html viagra oral jelly
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:43
http://abendrot3.spruz.com/Pure-Acai-Berry.htm Pure Acai Berry
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:43
http://abendrot3.spruz.com/Soma-Carisoprodol.htm Soma Carisoprodol
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:43
http://kiersten4.spruz.com/Buy-Hydrocodone-Online.htm Buy Hydrocodone Online
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:43
http://my.pantagraph.com/post/CheapMed55/blog/female_use_of_viagra.html andrew heath tramadol
Tue, 2010-03-02 23:43
I couldn't wait to change my name when I got married!! I couldn't wait to be Mrs. so and so. I was so honoured to take his name. I got my married at 40 so people obviously knew me professionally and privately by my maiden name for many many years. Well, it didn't take them long to figure out that I was the same person professionally and privately as I was before....Just with a new name. By the way, I LOVED my maiden name. My identity has not changed. I will always be me. To me, it was simply starting a new life with a new name. (besides, I love his name).
Tue, 2010-03-02 09:32
I took my husbands last name for a few reasons.
1. It was just more simple. Having a few names gets complicated.
2. I just liked the sound of it better than my old name! haha
3. Most importantly, I WANTED to change my identity. I was never happy with my past or the person I was. When I met my husband I became a whole new better person. While I didn't like the idea of becoming "his", I really liked the idea of a whole new name. I was ready to leave the kid-Sheena behind.
I totally understand not wanting to feel "given away" or like property. Thing is though, I don't think it would matter who's name we took, I'm still clearly the boss. :) I don't feel that the name change is what puts one spouse above the other, it's more in how they handle their relationship.
Tue, 2010-03-02 07:36
I never considered NOT changing mine either, and am also from the South. I don't know anyone around here who DIDNT take their husband's last name. I also don't think that my name defines me. Identifies, but that's it ;)
Sun, 2010-02-28 21:10
I knew a couple in college who, when they got married, BOTH changed their names to a new last name - Ruby, the stone for the month in which their marriage occurred. I'd always loved that idea.
Sun, 2010-02-28 14:11
I'm way late on this topic, but I changed my name. I kept my maiden name as my middle name, and this really bothered my husband. I'm not sure why, but he loved my original middle name, and he wanted me to drop my maiden name just to be left with his name. I just couldn't do it. I had to have my maiden name in there. So I am now Mrs. First Name Maiden Name His Last Name. If I could do it over again? I think I would be First Name Middle Name Maiden Name His Last Name. I would squish them all in there which would be cumbersome to say, but I miss my middle name more than I thought I would! Although I took his last name mainly b/c I wanted it to be one complete family unit. I wanted us all the have the same last name.
Fri, 2010-02-26 21:06
I don't think the convention of hyphenating is very well thought through. I don't want to saddle my descendants with two-to-the-nth-power-minus-one hyphens in their names. And hyphenating the mother's name and naming the kids after the father seems no solution at all.
We invented a brand new last name, by combining half of each of our names into a pleasing new last name. Now we're the only three people in the world with that last name, and it's better than either of our previous names.
Thu, 2010-02-25 02:00
I did not think much about it. I kept my last name. My husband thought he would change his to show his love for me but I told him to please keep his name. I like who he is and his name identifies this wonderful guy. So he is he, me is me and we are happy. :-)
Mon, 2010-02-22 14:26
One warning for sphere (who gave her son two last names): be sure to have him figure names out by the time he files taxes. I have four names: my given, my middle, my mom's last name, and my dad's last name. They're married but each kept their own (and my dad sincerely wishes he had changed his name to my mom's, but each of their names sounds better with their respective last names). I went through life assuming that my dad's last name was my legal one but using both last names in a non-hyphenated form for anything informal (plays, sports, with friends, and even on school assignments). Passport, driver's license, etc were all with my dad's last name as mine. The first time I filed taxes, I found out that Social Security has me listed with both last names! I had to straighten it all out. Wasn't too difficult, but it was a pain. I ended up switching my name with social security (and not paying the fee), since it was easier than switching on every other record I have.
I like using both last names, but it does give the difficulty of what to do when I get married. I'll probably keep my own names but not care if someone calls me "Mrs. HisName." As for kids? ugh, no idea. I would LOVE to marry someone who would take my name, or come up with a new name with me, but he's not sure how he feels about that. We'll have to discuss with kids. One thing I have seen is that the male kids get dad's last name and the female kids get mom's last name, so that's a possible good compromise.
Mon, 2010-02-22 10:41