I have to admit- I am always skeptical of fellow women who claim to "be a guy's girl" and "not get along well with women". I have quite a few female friends who claim this and I find - most of the time- not all- this attitude contributes to their lack of female friends. I have both male and female friends and I'm happily married to a great guy who has male and female friends and honestly- I don't really consider gender when befriending someone. My friends are made based on common interests- which can be girly, "masculine" or gender neutral.

I feel you Mindy. Your situation mirrors mine. It's hard growing up lonely, learning it's not safe to trust, and feeling unwelcome. You carry it with you into adulthood no matter how hard you try to leave it behind. We just moved to a new area and I've got my feelers out for some new friends, especially gfs. I know it sounds stereotypical, but most women I've met so far love to shop, talk on the phone and when they get together they drink...three things I prefer not to do! Is it because I had more guy friends than girl friends growing up that these things don't come naturally to me (sans the drinking!)? Oh and I'm a quiet and a bookworm? Don't know. I'm hopeful tho. I've made some progress. :)

Yes! I'm a member of a mom group in Austin. We have mom's night outs all the time and they're always wonderful. Time away from the men and children and in the company of sisters is essential. Essential. Regarding the guy friend thing...I've never been able to maintain a friendship with a person of the opposite sex. Every time the guy ends up wanting to be more than friends, things get awkward because I start avoiding him and it ultimately ends. My BFF, however is wonderful with women and men alike. I envy her for that at times, but it is what it is. Quel www.HomeGirl.typepad.com

I am not lacking in estrogen. I have two little girls (6 and 3) who are female through and through. As much as I love them to death, every girl needs quality girl friends of the same age. =) Unfortunately, I haven't been keeping a healthy quota of GNOs since I moved here from the Philippines in 2007. Back then, my idea of a ladies' night out was a trip to the club in my 3" stilettos laughing and dancing the night away. Two years and whole new continent later, my idea of girls' night out has changed a lot. My feet can no longer take the pain and my eyes can no longer stay open past 11 pm. Despite my newcomer status, I was lucky enough to have been invited to join the local MOMS Club. Through that group, I get the choice to attend the club's monthly Moms Night Out with activities that range from playing Bunco, having a Mardi Gras or getting manicures and pedicures. More importantly, through that group, I was able to find more than a few quality girl friends that I can call on for a movie night, a dinner out, a play date for the kids or a phone call to just vent. To make girls' nights out more fun and memorable, I vote to have or try to do the following: 1. There should be a general plan. Just the what, when and where . No need for a specific schedule. 2. Try to avoid the weekend crowd if you can. 3. A supportive husband who will make an effort to make sure that when you get home, kids are tucked in and sleeping. And that there are no dishes to clean or put away in the morning. That's what I have off of the top of my head for now. Please feel free to continue the list!

I have lagged on this since moving to Hawaii and being without my girlfriends...why was it so much easier to meet friends when you were younger? Anyhow, here's my take.... http://theohanamama.com/2009/04/ladies-night-out/

girls night? HECK YEAH!! cocktails, project runway, sewing circles for mardi gras costumes, dance workshops. anything goes. i live in new orleans, and it is really easy to get together with friends. i can't imagine life without it.

haven't had a regular Girl's Night since college (ahem, some time back). right now, I like daytime get-togethers with other moms, in part to provide variation in day's home with baby, but by evenings I'm pretty much ready to crash (or would like to see my husband for an hour before I die). perhaps that will change. but I've always had a lot of male friends, so I'm not sure I have a gang that would want a hard-drinkin' evening together -- maybe some wine on the patio when the weather gets nice, but (sigh) my tolerance still hasn't recovered from all that trying/pregant/nursing time... of course, my fantasy is that parenthood will be less physically draining once baby is a little kid, so maybe I'll reclaim some evenings out -- heck, I'd happily go dancing with Spouse, friends, or anybody, if I could imagine staying up late enough! so, so, sad..... (p.s.) how can a sitter be a problem on Girls' Night Out? where's Dad?!?!?

Joy, I am totally fascinated with your comments because you bring up a subject that I wish would become a topic of discussion here: Why do women have such adverse reactions to women who prefer to be friends with men? I ask this because, as much as I LOVE my girlfriends (which I went on and on about in a previous post), I thoroughly enjoy being friends with men, too! But I have had experiences in my life that would suggest that this whole "married-girl-who-occassionally-finds-a-friend-in-a-married-man" gig isn't entirely acceptable. Has anyone else experienced that, besides Joy and me? I've had a few close male friends in my adult life -- always plutonic, always nothing more than hanging out and enjoying good conversation. I find that friendship with men is easy because they are simples creatures (and I mean that in the best way)... so, being friends with them is blissfully uncomplicated. I also work with mostly men and I'm very outgoing, so it's kind of unavoidable to not make male friends. However, I've learned that my friendships with men can become complicated in a hurry... IF the significant other in his life decides to make it complicated. And more than once, that dynamic has resulted in me letting go of an otherwise great friendship. My peach of a husband, THANK GOD, completely understands me. He knows that, when it comes to friends, I'm drawn to funny, clever, intelligent HUMANS -- and he knows that I don't check to see what kind of junk these humans have before deciding to be their friend. My husband is not threatened... because he knows there's no reason to feel threatened. But again, he's a man: Simple, uncomplicated. "Friends with guys? Sure, hon. I get it. I'm cool with that. I'm off to the driving range." So ladies, I'm asking: Is it okay for men and women to be friends? Would you be opposed to your significant other having a female friend?

Mindy, I'm with you gurl! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I grew up a tomboy with all my friends being guys. As I got older and started working, I traveled for a living in typically a "mans" field type of job so my only friends were the men on the road with me. Then I crashed landed back in my now home town and I met my husband. At this point I didn't have a whole butt load of friends because I was in a new town and I didn't know anyone. He has a TON of friends he grew up with. One of the things he really hoped would happen would be that I would get along with all the other wives and girlfriends. I tried. I really, really tried. It's not like we don't get along but at parties and get togethers I can't help myself. I get bored and stressed out having to work to chat with these girls. Why be fake when I can just go to the garage where the guys are hanging out and burp, drink beer, and cuss and act like myself? Of course that breeds irritation in the other girls because I'm not acting like one of them and because they in some cases are jealous because their guys like to hang out with me and shoot the s**t. My husband slowly got used the idea that his guy friends were going to be my guy friends too. He likes the fact that he doesn't have to censor what he does with his guys around me because in those social settings I'm one of them. One thing that has always bugged me about the groups of women I've encountered is the fact that NO ONE ever appreciates my sense of humor and I get kinda shoved out of the group because of it. I don't click with the clicks. I know not all women are like this. I know a lot of great ladies and I do gather with them now and then but the only trouble with that is that they are considerably older than me. So it's not the wild beer drinking bon fire types of get togethers. We have a monthly knitting party. No joke. I go because it's an excuse to get out of the house. It's kinda fun and we don't get a whole lot of knitting done. More so a few bottles of wine get done. But what I really love about the older ladies is that they don't care if I tell a dirty joke. They've probably heard it before. And they aren't going to turn their backs on me and shove me out of the group because I'm rough around the edges. I hate being fake. And I can't fake being a girly girl like so many of the ones around me are. I'm me. I'm hard core and to the point most of the time. And you just might find me drinking beer with your husband telling him how to twiddle your dittle better in the bedroom and that he should appreciate you more. Ya, I'm THAT girl. I like being that girl. But it does make it hard to have a "girls night out".