I totally do what kateface said her dad used to do. I tell each of my three kids that they're my favorite when we're out of earshot of the other two. And then I tell them what I like about them, and it's different for each one. (But there are those days...those days when I have to actively remind myself that I my whole heart does, in fact, love the obnoxious, whiney, pull-my-hair-out-because-she/he-is-driving-me-crazy kid!)

Such a complex issue. For those with one child who worry about not having enough love to share with another, let me offer you this: When your 2nd child is born, your heart does not get split in half. Instead it doubles in size. Corny sounding, yes, but you'll know what I'm talking about when you experience it. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. I agree with Dooce that there are simply some days where one is more pleasant to be around than the other, but it varies from day to day, and it does not diminish my love for either one of them. And they are SUCH different people! I don't love either of them "more", I simply love and appreciate them in different ways. I do agree that as children get older, parents may find that they "click" better with one child than another. It's just a matter of personalities meshing, but I don't think that has to diminish love, or that the parent should show favortism. While you can appreciate one child for being like yourself, you can also appreciate another child for being different and showing you a different view of the world and opening you up to new things.

Well, I'll admit it just for this instance and for the sake of this discussion. I have a favorite, my first born Austin is my favorite, perhaps because it was just he and I for many years going through a tough time, perhaps because he is so much like me, perhaps it's because he has been the easiest child to parent...not sure but in all honestly if you ask his younger brother who's 7 he would probably agree. My twin 3 year olds aren't really old enough to tell the difference but one day they will be and I think they'd agree as well. So, why hide it. They all know we love them all and we embrace their differences. They don't have separate rules or anything or given any special treatment. Perhaps it's not so much that he's "a favorite" but that we share an extra special close bond that I don't seem to have with the other three. They were all breastfed...parented them all similarly so why the special bond? Not sure.

Having a girl and a boy I think there are definitely things that I do with my daughter that may not include my son (i.e. he can not stand shopping, she's only 7 and I think she's trying to apply for her own credit card already!) but at the same time there are things I do with my son that won't often include my daughter. (I also tell them "You're my favorite daughter!" and "You're my favorite son!") But I don't really see any of that as favoring one over the other. Maybe in different situations, I have a favorite shopping child and a favorite food fighting child, etc. but a favorite child in general, definitely not.

My kids are four years apart, so we had a long time to love up on my first-born! SHE was worried that we wouldn't have enough love for her once the baby was born, but now that he's 2 and she's 6, she admits that life without him wouldn't be the same. My daughter was also the first grandchild on both sides of the family, and I feel like everyone treats her as the favorite. She was an easy, smart baby, excelling in talking and walking and solving geometry problems at age 1 (joking!). Then my son came along, and he's a "boy's boy," as they say. He's been hard on us since the day he was born-didn't sleep as a baby, picky eater, throws tantrums, very rough-and-tumble; he's the exact opposite of our sweet little girl. But he's amazing in so many other ways. My daughter was easier, but that doesn't make her my favorite. And since I have one of each, I can say, "You're my favorite daughter!" and "You're my favorite son!" and neither one will be able to get upset.

One time when she was 4, my sister said to me, "Grandma told me something and I know I shouldn't tell you, but I think you should know." Amused, I asked her what it was and she said, "Uhmm. Well. She told me I was her favorite and that I shouldn't tell anyone else, but I really feel that you should know." I'm 14 years older than her, so this whole thing was really funny to me. "I think you should know," I said, "That she says that to me, ALL THE TIME." Of course, she was horrified, but my grandmother DID do this and I actually think that this made all of her grandkids feel that they were her favorite (even though I KNOW I am...because she told me so!). In my family, my mom takes turns with all of us, sometimes one of my sisters is her favorite and sometimes I'm her favorite. Once for Christmas I got my mom a VERY EXPENSIVE and elaborate spa treatment at a fancy place on 5th Ave--I got to coast on that for 6 months.

No word of a lie...my Mom tells me...still to this day...I'm the favorite! Isn't that a wonderful and horrible thing all at the same time?? But I only have one so far but I will say there are days that I tell my son that I'm gonna order me up a new toddler that will behave and like me. He doesn't seem to care. ;) www.visiblevoice.ca

I loved this conversation because it brought back fond memories of my childhood. My dad had this unique way of making me (and my other two siblings) feel so special, like we were the only ones in his universe, whenever we spent one-on-one time. He used to tell me, all the time, "You're my favorite!" He'd tell me that when we were out doing something special, or he'd whisper it when he passed by and I was playing... he found lots of ways to tell me I was his favorite. Unbeknownst to me, he did that with my other two siblings, too. One day, my parents fondly remember overhearing the three of us kids talking, discussing and debating who really was dad's favorite. To this day, we're all convinced we're still his favorite. He has told us many times, since we've reached adulthood, that he wanted us all to believe and know that we were his favorite child.

I really liked everything Asha had to say about this topic. Also, I laughed/loved when Mindy said, "I have a favorite VERSION of each of my kids." Hehehe.