June 30, 2009
When do you start teaching your kids about money? For many of us, our first taste of what money was about came in the form of an allowance from our parents. We washed the dishes, cut the lawn, cleaned our rooms and more. But some people believe those are mandatory chores that should not be rewarded with money. Where do you stand?
Guest contributor Kierna Mayo joins our Momversation with Alice Bradley who asks the question, Can giving an allowance be a bad thing? Join the Momversation by commenting in text or video.
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17 Comments
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Thu, 2010-03-04 10:52
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Wed, 2010-03-03 18:18
We do 50 cents per year of age on even numbers (so at 7 years old she is still getting $3 per week but when she turns 8 will get $4). This is just spending money for whatever her girly heart fancies. However, she can earn *extra* for doing chores without being asked. Last week she took it upon herself to carry in all the bags of groceries when I was talking to a neighbor. Being as most of the bags weighed nearly as much as she did, I thought that was a big deal so matched her another $3. But if I have to say "hey, I'm making dinner, can you come put the silverware away from the dishwasher" then there's nothing for that. So far it's working very well because I have noticed her making more of an effort to pay attention to things that need to be done - she asked me this morning if she could vacuum!
Wed, 2009-07-08 12:18
The unique thing about my parent's allowance system was that they made us responsible for more than just our "wants." From junior high on, they gave us a bigger-than - typical allowance and made us responsible for all of our personal items--everything from toothpaste and shampoo to our wardrobes. In the beginning, we were excited because it sounded like so much money but it didn't take long to figure out that most of it was going to have to be spent on necessities with only a little left over for fun things. I think their system really helped me develop a sense of budgeting early on in life and I have to say, the lesson stuck!
Fri, 2009-07-03 19:41
Interesting (and funny) blog on this topic here:
http://tinyurl.com/nmgcdu
Fri, 2009-07-03 09:25
Excellent bit ladies. I recently started what I would call a reward program with my nearly seven year old. Summer is difficult, because with two kids home and working from my home office, it can get hairy. and loud. it can get really loud. i made a chore chart for her, and she has the potential to earn up to two dollars per week if she fills the chart. These are basic chores that she'll eventually be expected to perform without payment, but for right now it's teaching her that working and completing tasks brings a reward. She already understands the value of a dollar pretty well. She is cautious when she has to spend her own dollars and is appreciative when I buy her a new outfit because I found it on sale, or 'super sale' as she would say. I think each situation might call for something different, but I think its a good idea to introduce money and responsibility for that money early on.
Thu, 2009-07-02 13:52
My parents worked very hard to provide my sisters and I the very best education. With bills, catholic school tuition, and making ends meet, all my sisters and I were responsible for was to help out with chores. Why would they have to pay us...our education was reward enough. Not everyone has the luxury of having a great education. Each one of us spent our Saturday mornings cleaninig a room. With the music on high it was more like quality time instead of a chore. To this day I wake up every Saturday morning with the music on high to clean my own apartment.
To teach us the value of a dollar my father took us to open bank accounts which would be where birthday or holiday money would be stored. So in following my childhood, I don't see a reason for allowance.
Thu, 2009-07-02 07:19
My kids get an allowance, and they do chores. But, the two are not related. They don't get paid to help out. That's expected regardless. Grades too.
However, allowance is a priviledge and can be taken away as punishment for not taking care of their responsibilities.
I give them allowance so they can learn to manage money. At least a little bit. It also saves on the asking for extra things at the store. They know they have to save for it. I pay them a dollar per year of the their age, twice a month when I get paid. So $10 for my 10 year old and $7 for my 7 year old. The 2 year old gets nothing still.
Wed, 2009-07-01 15:21
This is exactly what we do. You live in the house you're expected to help with chores. I don't want dd to ever be able to say, "Well I don't need my allowance so I'm not doing x." And we won't reward for grades either. I don't think A's are attainable by all so what if your child is only a C student and that's really the best they can do?
The allowance for DD is to learn to manage money. 10% goes to a charity, 30% long term savings, 30% short term savings and 30% available immediately. In December she picks a charity and we match her money. And it's also so she can buy things we wouldn't otherwise buy her and to cut out asking for things every time we go to the store, although she isn't that bad. I won't ever personally buy her a Barbie but if that's what she wants to use her allowance on that's her decision.
Wed, 2009-07-08 11:07
This is what we do, too. My son is expected to help out with the house because he lives here and not because he's getting paid to do it.
He does get an allowance, though, that's not related to anything he does around the house. This is to teach him to save and budget. Same thing, we don't usually buy him toys except for the big gift-giving occasions but he can save up for toys that he wants.
I really like the idea of earmarking some of the money for charity, thanks!
Mon, 2009-07-13 15:27
I LOVE what Kierna said at the end - you deserve because you do, not because you are (or something to that effect...). That's exactly the lesson I want my little one to grow up with - it absolutely makes my skin crawl to see parents raising their kids to be entitled little messes who have no concept of money, credit, expectations, LIFE by the time they leave home - we are not raising princes and princesses people, we are raising PEOPLE - people who need to spend 80% of their lives as adults. I know way too many adults whose lives are in shambles because they never learned any good lessons and took their bad habits all through their lives. Great video!!
Wed, 2009-07-01 13:23
Okay, the invoice idea is adorable!
I never got an allowance, but I was never denied something that I truly needed, and I was allowed to buy as many books as I wanted (but not like 10 at a time because who could read that many?!). I had to earn bigger things (like a Gameboy) with my performance in school or by helping my parents at work (they're small business owners). So it was a reward system, which like Kierna I think is healthy. (Note: REWARD, not BRIBE. Hehehe.)
That said, I don't think allowances are necessarily bad. My boyfriend's family did allowances, and he learned to save up for things he wanted. (His brother did too; his sister, not so much...) It really taught him the value of things (like car vs. Hot Wheels toy) and led to him (a) getting a part-time job in high school to earn/save more, (b) applying for scholarships and being fiscally responsible in college, and (c) becoming a purchasing manager, lol.
I think regardless of allowances/rewards, children should be expected to pitch in a certain amount (wash dishes, mow the yard, something). Surprisingly, this can/will also make them feel valued, like they are helping the family even in a small way.
Wed, 2009-07-01 11:44
Oh, and I NEVER got paid for grades. Asian parents don't do that. A's are a given. :P
Wed, 2009-07-01 11:45
We got money for our grades! It was the only money we ever got from them. No allowance here. We worked (delivered papers, babysat, shoveled snow) and working was a privilege that was taken away if we didn't get As. Not nec a good way to get us to love learning.
Mon, 2009-07-06 16:09
We were paid for chores and there was a bonus system in place for good grades--$5 for As, $1 for Bs, nothing for Cs and below. If we did something like, say, leave the light on in our bedrooms all day and waste energy, we were presented with a (very small, like $2) utility bill. I asked once about the rationale and my mom said that "in the real world, you don't do your work, you don't get paid. I don't want my kids showing up somewhere for a job and expecting to be paid just because they're a warm body. And as an adult, the more useful and productive you are, the more rewards will follow. You may hate math but you're going to work hard at it anyway because it's your job, and you can use that when there are parts of your adult job you hate but have to do anyway. And if you get a bill for wasting energy, you're not going to do it again." No-nonsense, my mother. Wonderful woman.
Wed, 2009-07-01 11:02
UGH!! Just fantastic! I LOVE the idea of giving them a bill for running the water while they're brushing their teeth, for leaving their bedroom lights on, for holding the fridge door wide open for 20 minutes! Your mother is a freaking genius.
As parents we tend to just give, give, give, and give some more. And yes, many of us try to tie that to chores or good grades or good behavior or special rewards. But many of us also feel that kids should get to be kids while they're kids, and only have to deal with grown up responsibilities once they're adults.
Like breastfeeding, and circumcision, and homeschooling, there are almost always two really strong camps on either side of the issue. But like these topics, the fact that as a parent you care enough about the welfare of your child to be passionate about their upbringing, regardless of your position, is what good parenting is all about.
But this...this is a matter of simple give and take. If you're wasteful, you need to be responsible for that loss. That's a lesson for the ages, people.
Thanks for sharing, deannanmc!!
Thu, 2009-07-02 09:11
video link appears to be broken. :(
Wed, 2009-07-01 08:46