In general I usually keep my opinions on my blog but after seeing this episode and the hypocrisy of it all I just couldn't bite my lip. Are you kidding me? I'm not the only one who saw some of the panel from momversations on Oprah. The show that was all about the dark side of motherhood. It was all about the drama of the bad and seedy part of parenting. I don't know if you're all aware of this but that show and what it was trying to say to us didn't go over well with a lot of the blogosphere. We are feed up being spooned feed that this is what motherhood is all about. It's not. It's not for me and it's not for a lot of women. The media has glorified it because, it's what sells. But programs like this don't help either. You employ one of the most disgruntled mother's out there--Heather Armstrong. She has a book and a website that is all about bad mothering. Ruth Reichl & Ayelet Waldman are other examples of it as well. I can’t turn on NPR, or read a newspaper that doesn’t have an article about how awful and hard motherhood is. Stop. Enough. Bitter is not the new love. It seems that you can't be an intelligent and educated woman and have a child, without your mind cracking under the pressure. The idea that motherhood makes you crazy and postpartum depression can become lifelong, and moreover, that this is not an uncommon situation...just blows my mind. Where are the positive stories? I know they’re out there. I read them, I see loving parent’s everyday. I’m honestly afraid that if this is what the media keeps putting out there our children are going go to get a very skewed idea of what parenting is all about.

Some people LOVE motherhood. Some people never thought they would be a mother but OOPS! they are one now and they're just learning to deal with it. Moms are all over the board in terms of how they approach motherhood and how they feel about it. I for one always assumed I'd be a mom. And I also assumed that once I became a mom, I'd just fall into it, know what I was doing and have at least SOME blissful moments. Still waiting on the blissful moments - they're rare. But that's not to say I'm unhappy as a mom. And five years after my first child was born, I still don't have a clue. I have a five year old with an extremely intense/persistent personality and we clash like oil and water. That doesn't mean I think motherhood is "dark." But it's REAL. We all have off days and great days and that's all a part of being a mom. So when I was a working mom, it was "Oh wow, how do you do it? Work all day and then housework on your time off plus you miss your kids, etc. etc. etc." Now it's, "You're a stay at home mom? And you have a degree too? Not up to much, are you?" like I'm wasting my life. I've realized in the last few months that there's no "template" for motherhood. We all figure it out on our own, what fits best for us and we're not wrong for not doing it all the same way.

We are all human, we react differently to different situations. My experience with breastfeeding/potty training/discipline is going to be a different story completely than another mother's. Vive la difference, no? But. We're all in it together. Positive and negative, our stories can enrich others who are walking a similar path. I like Giyen's point that in the blogosphere, we *have* that. You can hit any of the blogher or blogmama, etc. sites and find hundred upon hundreds of stories of motherhood and can pick and choose which speaks to you. Right now, unfortunately, the media has latched on to the more negative aspects. Tomorrow it'll be a different story. Which is why any newspaper or newsfeed that I read I take with a grain of salt and don't (or try not to) let it effect my everyday walk as a woman and a mom.

I am not a Mom yet, but I am a regular Momversation watcher. I am the type of person that puts a lot of planning into my decisions. After watching many stories and reading many articles about motherhood I am terrified that having a baby is going to ruin my body, end my career, suck the fun out of my marriage and make me broke forever. TERRIFIED! I honestly really do want a family but at what cost? Someone please enlighten me.

I think that the media has gone running in the complete opposite direction from June Cleaver. Look at all the shows out there that portray moms in ways that are, I believe, closer to home. Or maybe June was the norm back in the day, and now Molly Ringwald in Life of the American Teenager is our television icon, along with the Blogess and Dooce. But if you look at advertising, moms are harried or calm, purchasing organic gluten-free bug spray or sprinting through MacDonalds in their SUVs. There is definitely a plethora of family life-styles portrayed on any form of media you examine. There may have been June Cleaver but there was also Edith Bunker not too long afterward! I don't believe that it's social pressure or media influence, because there is such a wide range of moms displayed. Rather, I think it's what we focus on as individuals, where we see ourselves lacking, and who we want to be. For me, it's the pressure I put upon myself to rise to a, quite honestly, unachievable goal. Not because of what the media puts out there, but because I'm human.

It's the same as with anything else - it is what you make it.

I totally remember that Today show, and I remember thinking "Oh my God, they're making such a big deal out of nothing." Perhaps the media is not looking for drama anymore, just tying to create it. Ooh, moms who get together and have a glass of wine while the children play, let's make some people angry about that! I also feel that there is a bit of a mixed message. In one breath we get it's ok to go to work, it's ok to take time for yourself, it's ok to have a glass of wine. And in the next it's, moms who drink while the children play... is it ok?

Frankly, I'm just tired of being ignored when it comes to meaningful conversations about motherhood. I'm an African American mom in a happy marriage with three beautiful, smart, incredible kids; I got married, had my kids with the man I love, and move Heaven and Earth to try to get this mothering thing right. Yet, the only time I see black moms talking about motherhood is... well... never. Unless we're talking about achievement gaps, poverty, teen pregnancies (insert your pathology here), we don't hear from black moms. Ever. Talk about stereotypes! (Note: I was SO happy to stumble on Momversation.com just yesterday and see such an eclectic mix of panelists--lead the way! But this combination is RARE.) What I would do to see a black mom like me with a voice and an opinion somewhere... anywhere!... represented in the media. (Um, and no, chronicling which cute outfit Michelle Obama is wearing while she breaks ground on the new White House garden is NOT enough--though greatly appreciated.) On a more general note: We moms will happily go on TV to talk about getting drunk in the afternoon to cope or bash Nadya Suleman for the gazillionth time, but we won't raise our hands and speak up about unfair pay, unpaid maternity leave, negative media images of young girls, and other issues that affect our families. Why is that? It's just not sexy. For the media. And unfortunately, for us, too. So let's talk about Octomom again!