January 19, 2009
Social networking sites like Facebook are a great way to communicate with friends old and new. But do they take us out of the "real world?" Or do they make stay-at-home moms feel less isolated? Rebecca Woolf of Girls' Gone Child asks the panelists, "Are you a Facebook fan or foe?"
Are you on Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter? Do you find yourself on Facebook for too long? Or is it just a harmless diversion? Have you had any bizarre, funny, or wonderful Facebook experiences? Join the Momversation by sharing in one of our related forums:
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25 Comments
Jusdbfedfwf
Thu, 2010-03-04 10:41
Lomwefgbnbv
Wed, 2010-03-03 18:06
Hey There,
THE GUYS are enjoying our new found guilty pleasure:
Momversation. (Reference to April post)
But back to the topic at hand. We feel the days of reviving old friendships the old fashioned way, are on there way back.
Social networking is great, but what we really want from our social networking sites is what we call the three F’s: Fun, flirting, and Fantasy. We’re not really looking to add the fourth F in there: Friends. We just want to be part of a bigger world. We want to be part of our own reality show, without having to get embarrassed on TV. What could be better?
That was part of an entire post we wrote on this very topic.
The Guy's Horizon: The future of Friends.
http://theguysperspective.typepad.com/the-guys-perspective/2009/07/the-g...
Thanks for the interesting discussion.
THE GUYS
Sun, 2009-07-19 19:37
Yes!
Tue, 2009-05-26 19:23
I joined Facebook when I discovered that my best friend who once said to me "I hate the internet" was on there. Many of my friends and family still have dialup/slow/limited internet connections but they all use Facebook (albeit, with varying frequency). My core circle of friends are quite spread out and we don't talk as much as we should. That makes Facebook a nice way to keep up with what we are all doing, at least on a superficial level.
I've had a blog in some shape or form since 2000 and very few of my real-life friends read it (and if they do, they aren't telling me about it). Now that I can feed my blog, Flickr and Vimeo stuff into Facebook, people can see a more detailed view of what's going on with me than what Facebook provides, but they don't feel inundated by it. (Especially since I have a case of New-Mummy Oversharing Syndrome :)
As for Twitter, I wasn't sure how necessary it was when I opened my account, but now I love it. It's great when you have something to say that doesn't merit an entire blog post.
Thu, 2009-01-29 08:22
I am definitely a fan of Facebook. I do spend alot of time on it daily, but that's usually during work hours as a work sanctioned activity. (haha, just so happens that my personal facebook account is linked to my "work" page). I'll get on at home, but mostly just to update my status than I'm off again.
There have been a few people here and there from high school that have added me, but (Thank God) I must be flying under the radar because I haven't gotten that many friend requests from people I'd rather not be bothered with. And if I do, I just don't add them. Lol. I guess I'm just bitchy like that.
I like the whole aspect of social networking websites, blogs, forums, etc. I don't have many "real life" friends that have children or have the same interests as me so I is nice to be able to log onto a website and get in contact immediately with tons of people I click with.
Nikki
Tue, 2009-01-27 13:18
Facebook is a crucial connection tool for me. When I moved to the US, I left behind family and friends. I joined facebook and so did they, and even though we're 5 thousand miles apart with an ocean between us, we get to participate in each others' lives every day. Sure, it's not as good as face-to-face contact with them, but we're sure as hell not moving back and they cant move here, so its as good as its going to get and Facebook contact is better than nothing at all.
Thu, 2009-01-29 08:57
I love Facebook! It's strange to have both my parents on there now, not to mention high school crushes, former bosses,...I actually met a friend through facebook who later stayed a week at my apartment (she was studying at another campus of the school I attended) while she took a class.
Tue, 2009-01-20 20:50
I enjoy FB for catching up with people - I've not only reconnected with people from high school but with people from ELEMENTARY SCHOOL that I haven't seen in 30 years!! But I don't play all the games and flings and pings and punches or whatever all those applications are. I leave that for the teenagers.
Tue, 2009-01-20 15:19
If Facebook was around when my daughter (who is now 14) was a toddler, I might have been more addicted than I am now. As a single parent, oftentimes Friday nights used to involve dialing up to AOL (on the 14.4k modem) and chatting in forums with other single moms. At times it was probably the only thing that kept me sane and my brain functioning above a 2 year old level.
Oh how I used to long for the "YOU GOT MAIL" voice.
PS. Scrabble is one application that I would totally get into.
Mon, 2009-01-19 22:59
I use Facebook for my family and friends and I Twitter with my Blogger friends. I reconnected with so many people through Facebook. It's an amazing tool for that. I was extremely shy in high school and had a very small group of friends. But now with Facebook, I get invitations to be friends with people who would never give me the time of day.
It's amazing how you change when you're older.
Mon, 2009-01-19 20:20
ok, sooooo.... now i have a facebook. :)~
Mon, 2009-01-19 18:42
Facebook is fun. & I support all forms of fun & recreation. Since I'm trying to transition into social media, blogging, & internet business, I don't worry so much about presenting a business persona, although I do mind what I post to some extent. I also work in a national arts organization so being a little freaky is expected.
& if any momversationalist would like to add me as a friend, I do welcome that.
Viva la Facebook ~
http://twitter.com/RichMama
http://blackswanpapers.blogspot.com/
Mon, 2009-01-19 16:32
Wait... Facebook SCRABBLE?? Seriously???
No, no, I can't be swayed... I'll give you my e-mail address, you tell me where you live, and I'll come visit you and whoop YOU in person. That's how I roll, Sister! :)
Mon, 2009-01-19 16:59
I love Facebook!! My husband is Canadian and he was on it before I was. I used to laugh because every person he's ever met is on there, but now more and more of my friends (past and present) are joining. I absolutely love it. I love being connected. I love not having to talk to people on the phone, too! But also, there are some people that it's interesting to catch up with quickly, but then you may not really have that much to continue the conversation with. With FB you can see what they are up to and how they are doing without much effort.
Personally, I love blogging and have tried to get every person I know to do it just so I can keep up with them. Not everyone has the same love or time, so I think websites like FB let the average computer user do the same without much effort.
My problem is that I have to remember that I have "friends" from all walks of life. I'm not used to my family, college friends, high school friends, and mom friends all getting the same perspective of me.
As for twitter...I'm not a huge fan. For the most part, I don't care what people are doing for every second of the day and I certainly don't want to post what I am doing all the time. I'm just not that interesting! I do use it as as a feed to my blog for all the funny things my kids say. It's an easy way to update and remember all those little gems like, "Mommy, put your slippers on you little stinker!"
Mon, 2009-01-19 13:48
Chubbacoo, you don't want to have the satisfaction of running to your co-worker's office & being all "MC Hammer is following me on twitter!!!" just for the heck of it???
I had the same experience of, "whoa, this facebook thing shows different sides of me that I'm usually 'managing.' I found it very empowering though.
Mon, 2009-01-19 16:28
I'm so glad this topic came up... because it's good for me to see a different perspective on the whole Facebook/Twitter/Etc. world than the one which came courtesy of Girl's Night Out two weeks ago.
I was out with five great ladies who live in my neighborhood -- ladies who, at this point in my life, comprise my closest social cirlce. At one point in the evening Facebook came up and two of my girlfriends, whom I now have deemed "Facebook Junkies," went on and on and on... AND ON... about how great it was. As they prattled away their eyes kind of glazed over, and I was actually a little scared. For them.
After that experience I thought: "Dude, the ONLY way anyone could know this much about Facebook -- and LOVE it the way these girls do -- is if they're plastered to it for 8-10 hours a day. And that is SOOOO not healthy."
As a working professional outside the home, I just don't relate to the SAHM "isolation" factor anymore (I went back to work full-time when my son was 4, and he is now 12). But I can certainly remember what it was like for those four years, and BELIEVE ME when I say that I understand the need for those connections. I just don't believe it's healthy to expend a huge amount of time making online connections at the expense of spending time with TANGIBLE family and friends. Working full time leaves me with very little down time, and that time is precious to me... so I prefer to use it to make connections in person, and I prefer to make them with the people who are in my life RIGHT NOW.
I do know that these "Facebook Junkie" friends of mine spend a good portion of their day online (they are both SAHM's, one whose kids are all in school, one with three in school and a baby at home)... and here I am, on my lunch break, typing away at momversation.com... but seriously, don't you have to draw the line somewhere??
And for me, the most mystifying question of all is: Wouldn't you rather connect with the people who are in your life NOW, instead of people you knew in high school 20 years ago???
I'm not trying to knock those who are interested in that kind of thing... TRULY, I'm not... in fact, reading almost everyone else's thoughts makes me think that I'm the exception to the rule. (It's you and me, Tracy! :) I'm just a very "present" person. I live in the now, not in "where's my old boyfriend from 1988?" And I'm all about "being present" as well -- I generally cultivate relationships that lend themselves to sitting down and looking 'em in the face, and falling over together in a collapse of giggles, or crying and dripping gooey snot on their shoulder... you get my gist.
Bottom line: I don't think Facebook will be anything I'll be trying soon... and I guess I'll have to learn to live with my decided uncoolness. (But I may take a peek at LinkedIn later this afternoon... :)
Lunchtime is over, back to work... thanks for listening, have a great day!
Mon, 2009-01-19 12:38
Rebecca--I add pretty much everyone too (so I requested you add me haha), I think sometimes people take it too seriously. It's just a fun social networking site and people are always talking about the drama of "should I add him, should I not add him" blah, blah, blah. Other than that, I love Facebook. I have a big family and I also moved a few years ago from Wisconsin to California, so it's the best way for me to keep track of everyone and keep everyone updated on my family. I tried setting up a MySpace account but was annoyed within a half hour and gave up. Then my husband suggested Facebook, and the rest is history :) Oh yeah, I'm on Twitter too. Twitter is underrated. It's so quick and easy and most importantly, fun.
Mon, 2009-01-19 11:03
I'm on Facebook and Twitter and other social media tools. I don't use MySpace (it's for kids). I'm rather surprised that Linkedin and similar tools weren't mentioned. It's pretty common for working moms to use professional level social media tools like Linkedin.
I use Facebook to keep in touch with a huge portion of people I know; friends from school, co-workers, business associates, friends from college, friends from the mommy years and neighborhood moms. There are almost no areas of "overlap" in my social groups. It is a much more efficient use of my time to communicate with all those groups from one social media utility than to spend three times longer on other communication tools.
As a F/T working mom I've noticed that the other working moms and I use social media differently than the moms who work from home or don't work. We have less opportunities to spend in social activities - so we multitask our communications and relationships using social media tools and online communications.
I use Facebook for communication and networking, not entertainment. For me Facebook is a tool, not a toy - but others may use it differently. There are a number of really useful professional groups on Facebook that are great for professional networking or finding work related resources.
http://momartfully.typepad.com/
Mon, 2009-01-19 10:52
i do not have a facebook... yet. :) i am a twittering idiot, always wanting more followers and enjoying reading what others are doing/twittering about. i am in the midst of learning what it means to be a freelancing mommyblogger/writer, and in my learnings, i am finding that the more social networks and blogs you participate in, the more your name/your work gets out there. so i guess i'm all for it... i guess. when i was working nonprofit, i had a myspace. my work friends talked me into it and for a while it was fun... then my career path took a new turn and i was teaching middle school english. my myspace was deleted as soon as a student said, "mrs. white, do you have a myspace?"
Mon, 2009-01-19 10:34
I've joined FB purely because of the peer pressure... You know, all the "omg, you don't have a FB account? why? everybody and their mother is on it" blah, blah, blah.... here I was creating an account on the FB. I have to admit I was addicted to it for a while, but now it goes in waves. We recently moved (again...) and I am (again...) at the point were I don't have any friends in my area yet, plus I'm expecting my first child in March and plan on being a SAHM. So at this point of my life all the on-line social networks and blogs are keeping me sane. But this momversation really made me question if FB is just delaying me from getting out there and starting to meet new people and building my actual network...
Mon, 2009-01-19 10:00
I have to say, my internet usage has increased exponentially as the weather has gotten colder, and colder. I can't just pick up and walk to the park or wander around town. So, yeah, facebook. What else to people in cold climates do? That being said, this topic has made me look up the local park district's activities, and I hope to find something active we can do because there are a lot of winter days left ahead...
Mon, 2009-01-19 09:29
I'm not a fan of Facebook it's way to "high school" for me. I wasn't into cliques then and I'm definitely not now twenty plus years later.
While I'm not into Facebook I do like Twitter. I hadn't even heard of it until I started blogging a couple months ago. So once twice a day I send a shout out via Twitter.
By far my favorite online networking group is LinkedIn. It's a huge part of my life because a big part of my life is work. If you haven't joined LinkedIn you should regardless of whether you have a career or not. It's a great professional tool.
Tracy
http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com
Mon, 2009-01-19 09:09
Just like anything else if the on-line life takes over my other life than I worry. I too fear that my children will remember me mostly on the computer - nice image of my back over the keyboard.
But like Asha said it helps with the isolation. I wish my husband could use any of these platforms when he deploys but they can't.
I love using Skype (phone internet and video) when I talk to my family overseas - as they would say as long as it's in moderation
www.ovolina.com
Mon, 2009-01-19 08:56
I think facebook is cool, although I don't spend a lot of time on it even though it sucks me in sometimes. It is just a way for me to keep in touch with old college and high school friends.. It's just great to see what they are up to. There is way too many social websites though.. the myspace.. the facebook.. does anybody remember Hi5..
Mon, 2009-01-19 07:49