Do You Have a Girl's Night Out?

Lomwefgbnbv

Thu, 2010-03-04 10:46

I have to admit- I am always skeptical of fellow women who claim to "be a guy's girl" and "not get along well with women". I have quite a few female friends who claim this and I find - most of the time- not all- this attitude contributes to their lack of female friends.

I have both male and female friends and I'm happily married to a great guy who has male and female friends and honestly- I don't really consider gender when befriending someone. My friends are made based on common interests- which can be girly, "masculine" or gender neutral.

Tue, 2009-07-14 12:42

I am not lacking in estrogen. I have two little girls (6 and 3) who are female through and through. As much as I love them to death, every girl needs quality girl friends of the same age. =)

Unfortunately, I haven't been keeping a healthy quota of GNOs since I moved here from the Philippines in 2007. Back then, my idea of a ladies' night out was a trip to the club in my 3" stilettos laughing and dancing the night away.

Two years and whole new continent later, my idea of girls' night out has changed a lot. My feet can no longer take the pain and my eyes can no longer stay open past 11 pm.

Despite my newcomer status, I was lucky enough to have been invited to join the local MOMS Club. Through that group, I get the choice to attend the club's monthly Moms Night Out with activities that range from playing Bunco, having a Mardi Gras or getting manicures and pedicures. More importantly, through that group, I was able to find more than a few quality girl friends that I can call on for a movie night, a dinner out, a play date for the kids or a phone call to just vent.

To make girls' nights out more fun and memorable, I vote to have or try to do the following:

1. There should be a general plan. Just the what, when and where . No need for a specific schedule.
2. Try to avoid the weekend crowd if you can.
3. A supportive husband who will make an effort to make sure that when you get home, kids are tucked in and sleeping. And that there are no dishes to clean or put away in the morning.

That's what I have off of the top of my head for now. Please feel free to continue the list!

Sun, 2009-04-05 20:40

girls night? HECK YEAH!! cocktails, project runway, sewing circles for mardi gras costumes, dance workshops. anything goes. i live in new orleans, and it is really easy to get together with friends. i can't imagine life without it.

Fri, 2009-04-03 18:08

Yes! I'm a member of a mom group in Austin.

We have mom's night outs all the time and they're always wonderful. Time away from the men and children and in the company of sisters is essential. Essential.

Regarding the guy friend thing...I've never been able to maintain a friendship with a person of the opposite sex. Every time the guy ends up wanting to be more than friends, things get awkward because I start avoiding him and it ultimately ends. My BFF, however is wonderful with women and men alike. I envy her for that at times, but it is what it is.

Quel
www.HomeGirl.typepad.com

Mon, 2009-05-04 19:26

Mindy, I'm with you gurl! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I grew up a tomboy with all my friends being guys. As I got older and started working, I traveled for a living in typically a "mans" field type of job so my only friends were the men on the road with me. Then I crashed landed back in my now home town and I met my husband. At this point I didn't have a whole butt load of friends because I was in a new town and I didn't know anyone. He has a TON of friends he grew up with. One of the things he really hoped would happen would be that I would get along with all the other wives and girlfriends. I tried. I really, really tried. It's not like we don't get along but at parties and get togethers I can't help myself. I get bored and stressed out having to work to chat with these girls. Why be fake when I can just go to the garage where the guys are hanging out and burp, drink beer, and cuss and act like myself? Of course that breeds irritation in the other girls because I'm not acting like one of them and because they in some cases are jealous because their guys like to hang out with me and shoot the s**t. My husband slowly got used the idea that his guy friends were going to be my guy friends too. He likes the fact that he doesn't have to censor what he does with his guys around me because in those social settings I'm one of them.

One thing that has always bugged me about the groups of women I've encountered is the fact that NO ONE ever appreciates my sense of humor and I get kinda shoved out of the group because of it. I don't click with the clicks. I know not all women are like this. I know a lot of great ladies and I do gather with them now and then but the only trouble with that is that they are considerably older than me. So it's not the wild beer drinking bon fire types of get togethers. We have a monthly knitting party. No joke. I go because it's an excuse to get out of the house. It's kinda fun and we don't get a whole lot of knitting done. More so a few bottles of wine get done. But what I really love about the older ladies is that they don't care if I tell a dirty joke. They've probably heard it before. And they aren't going to turn their backs on me and shove me out of the group because I'm rough around the edges.

I hate being fake. And I can't fake being a girly girl like so many of the ones around me are. I'm me. I'm hard core and to the point most of the time. And you just might find me drinking beer with your husband telling him how to twiddle your dittle better in the bedroom and that he should appreciate you more. Ya, I'm THAT girl. I like being that girl. But it does make it hard to have a "girls night out".

Thu, 2009-04-02 12:24

There was a monthly "Girls Night Out" I was invited to by a friend in the neighborhood. I only knew the woman who invited me and was very excited to make new friends. Remember when all you had to do was say "Hey, you wanna play?" and 'poof' you had a new friend?

In any case, there ended up being twelve of us total and we went out to eat. I was fine with that because it gave me a chance to sit down and get to know everyone. What I soon learned was... That was all they did. Go out to eat. I soon got bored because instead of being a night to let-loose and have fun, it turned into a bitch session about mean teachers and ungrateful husbands. Listen, no judgments here, I'm all for commiserating, but could we do something fun too? I made the subtle suggestions: a wine bar, dancing, bowling, or even karaoke? Sadly, I think my ideas were too overwhelming for the group.

I'm trying to put a new group together. Anyone interested?

Thu, 2009-04-02 08:53

With a hubby and son, I can empathize with Dana and suffering from testosterone overload. I mean seriously, would one of them actually pass away if we watched something other than ESPN? I'm not asking for back-to-back tear-jerkers on Lifetime, but when the narrator in my dreams is a sports commentator... something's gotta give, people.

Sometimes I fantasize about taking several maxi pads and writing "CHANGE THE CHANNEL OR ELSE Y CHROMES" in lipstick and sticking them on the big TV in our family room. (That looks SOOOO f-ing awesome in my mind's eye...)

But they'd come home, see my "padded" plea-slash-threat, and stare at it blankly... then my husband would turn to our son and say: "Remember a couple of weeks ago in maturation class, when they talked about girls having PMS?" Then he'd motion toward the TV with his head and say: "Yeah, well... there ya have it."

Sorry, I digress... we were talking about Girl's Night Out, right? :)

I actually have two different groups of girls that I go out with on a regular basis. One group of girls is from my 'hood -- there are six of us, and we are the closest of friends. We try to go out at least one night a month, and then those of us who are available try and go out to lunch a couple times a month... the lunches are logistically a bit more difficult because three of us work and three of us are SAHMs -- but we try to switch up the locations so that most everyone can attend. In fact, three years ago we began taking a trip together every spring. The "Girl's Trip" usually involves visiting a different city, seeing a Broadway show, eating good food and practicing the fine art of "shopping and flopping" -- we find a fabulous outlet mall or shopping area in the city we're in, establish a "home base," and everyone just kind of comes and goes -- shop for a while, then come back to base and "flop" for a while, sip on a drink, people watch, etc. We look forward to this trip like no other -- so we're counting down the weeks until we head to Vegas to see The Lion King in May!

The other group includes me and three former co-workers. We became very close -- as is usually the case when you share cubicles and lunch hours and office drama of every size, shape and color -- and we had a fabulous time for a while... and then, over the course of a few months, things changed (as is usually the case). One of us had a baby and chose to stay home; one of us left the company and got a new job because the new boss was a psychotic bitch (I wonder which girl that was?); the other two still work there but have moved to different buildings. Our proximities and careers took us further away from one another, but the simple truth was that we enjoyed each other's company WAY too much to let our friendships drift apart... so, we get together for dinner once a month and catch up on everyone's lives. There's been another baby born in the group since the first one, another one due in July and ANOTHER one due in September. (And then there's me: Happily Unpregnant Mother of a Pre-teen. Whoo hoo, bring on the hormones!) We eat yummy food, talk a hundred miles an hour at each other, laugh like crazy... and we always dish a little dirt on Ye Olde Place of Employment, for old time's sake. :)

I don't know what I would do without these fabulous women in my life! Each of them enrich, enlighten and inspire me in their own way, and I am truly blessed by their friendship. Most of all, I'm grateful that we all cherish each other -- and OURSELVES, for that matter -- enough to carve out some time in our crazy-busy lives for one another. LONG LIVE GNO!!!

Wed, 2009-04-01 12:16

Maggie, you are so right.

I'm guessing I never became a "girls' girl" because I wasn't welcome.

I went to my modeling jobs just as I did to my jobs at Arby's and Wolfy's (slinging hot dogs, wearing a red cowboy hat), because we needed the money. I was lucky to get the work, and I was grateful. For me it was an economic choice, but it negatively impacted my social life because, as you say, women are not kind to people like me. This is why I try to be nice to everyone—I know what it's like to be excluded. I was a lonely kid.

Off to a roaring, cheerful start this morning.

Wed, 2009-04-01 10:30