Haiti Earthquake: Do You Shield Your Kids from Tragedy?

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January 24, 2010

We have all been emotionally affected by the devasation the Haiti earthquake has caused. Horrific images appear nightly on the news, including those of injured children. With all the coverage, it's likely your children have heard something about the natural disaster. But do you want them to? Do you turn off the television when the news starts, or do you let your children watch? And at what age should kids be exposed to events like the Haiti earthquake? Karen Walrond of chookooloonks asks, "Do you shield your children from tragedies?"

What do you think? Should your children be privy to the round-the-clock coverage tragedies such as the tsunami, 9/11, and the Haiti earthquake inspire? Or do you have a don't ask, don't tell policy? Join the Momversation by commenting below.

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Panelists

Dana Loesch - Mamalogues Daphne Brogdon - Cool Mom Karen Walrond -Chookooloonks

Keywords

Parenting Video

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11 Comments

MeMyselfandMommy

Moanna is only two, so there is only so much she can understand at this age. She's just a wee one.

We have a close friend from Haiti, so we have told her, "Andy is sad because his friends and family have lost their homes and toys. Some of them have gotten hurt too. We need to help them" We've not gone into details about what happened or if anyone that died. We want her to have some form of understanding of why we are sad and that we want to help.

Overall we want her to be aware of the world around her and that there are things she can do to help people.

Mon, 2010-01-25 18:41

kristanhoffman

I think what Jessica's daughter and classmates did is amazing! It's so awesome that they wanted to do that lemonade stand for Haiti, and icing on the cake that they raised a sizable amount of money to donate. She is rightfully emotional and proud. :)

As everyone said, I think there's a balance between wanting to protect your kid, and over-protecting them. It sounds like you are all finding good balance with that.

I also like how Karen and Dana put it: focus on what you can do to help others, rather than just dwelling on how awful it is and how hard/unfair the world is. That's probably a good lesson for anyone of any age, not just kids.

Mon, 2010-01-25 15:47

MsBwell

We’re a military family and that may play a part in me not shielding our children from world tragedy and the news. I use to thinking I was protecting them and that lead to them being overly scared about what was going on in the world. Especially if it was a location that their dad was deployed to. They would hear bits and pieces of facts, their friends viewpoints and then fill in the blanks on their own. Usually what they thought was going on was way worse than the actual event. Plus with me talking to them I feel I can sort of help mold their thoughts. I want to raise them to think of others who are in need and to know that no everyone has it as good as they do. They have always had a roof over their head, their own bed and never have been hungry. I know I must be doing something right because my youngest wanted me to take her saved up allowance money to the Red Cross for Haiti. I was so proud of her.

Mon, 2010-01-25 14:57

feastafterfamine

We don't watch television news in our house (except, on rare occasion, News Hour or the BBC) so the children don't see the live images played on a loop on the 24-hour cable shows.
My husband and I make the choice not to watch that type of news for our own sanity -- the kids just get the benefit of it.
However, we're daily newspaper readers and our children see the images, often gruesome, in the paper at the breakfast table and throughout the day. Last week, our paper ran a photo of a dead child on the front page and got lots of reader flack for that decision though not from our household. I'm a former newspaper reporter, and I both understand and support the choice.
It's up to us to either keep the photos from them or let them see. In this instance, we didn't try to hide anything.
My 5-year-old has been asking a lot of questions about the earthquakes and yesterday we talked for nearly 45 minutes about natural disasters across the globe. I think she was more interested in the science of them, at the time, than the personal effects.
However, it's clear that she's interested in the human impact in Haiti as well. The other night she asked question after question about the quakes... then question after question about a stuffed Tigger she saw high up on a shelf in her youngest brother's room. My husband finally asked her where she was going with all the questions and it was to this point: she wanted to send Tigger to Haiti.
I guess what I"m saying is I think it's healthy to talk about news stories and encourage dialogue. I want to foster curiosity and knowledge of current events and news gathering skills in my children. I also recognize that they're still children and, like anything, it's my responsibility to set boundaries. While, we're sharing this story with them, we might take a different approach with another.

Mon, 2010-01-25 12:09

Barbasaurus

I don't shield my kids from tragedy. I watch the news with my 6-year-old and talk about what's happened in Haiti, what our country is doing to help, what other countries are doing to help, and what we, personally, can do to help. I don't think we're doing our kids any favors by keeping them in a bubble. My daughter knows the nitty-gritty details--that people were pulled from buildings 10 days after the first earthquake. That one man survived on soda pop. That some people drank their own urine rather than die of dehydration. This is teaching her that people do what they have to in order to survive. I want her to hear about these things from my husband and I at home, not from classmates at school.

I credit her interest with her involvement. She WANTS to do more to help. She often asks if I'll go get lunch for a homeless man we see on a nearby corner. In regards to Haiti, when I told her that my husband and I planned to donate money because that's the only thing we could do, she disappeared for a few minutes and came back with $27 from her wallet (allowance and gift money) because she wanted to help, too. (Please excuse me if I've mentioned this here before--I'm quite proud.)

Like Jessica said: by sharing with them, we're empowering them.

Jessica, what your daughter and her friends did--a lemonade stand--shows how truly thoughtful and caring they are. It made my heart swell and my eyes tear up to hear that these are such good, selfless kids.

Mon, 2010-01-25 11:53

JessicaGottlieb

It was really incredible. They did a boys v girls "LemonAID" stand and didn't price anything, they just asked for "any donation" there were donations of 25 cents, and a few of $50 or more.

The kids had a great time, and they really did do it all themselves. They were very puffed up about it, still are.

My daughter runs with a good crowd. She delights me.

Wed, 2010-01-27 09:29

MammyP

Jessica; good on your daughter and her classmates -- and I totally agree with your point... I think those moments where we can share that kind of education with our kids are our best parenting moments. I recently had one of these about the Haiti tragedy with my son and it was his curiosity about the earthquake that spawned the conversation. He is 5, and THE most inquisitive child ever born -- he wanted to know what an earthquake was. So we got out the children's encyclopedia and learned about them, but then we were able to contextualize it for him by asking him what he thought would happen if there was a house right on top of the earthquake, and what would happen to the people who lived there, etc. etc. And then we talked about how there actually was just an earthquake in Haiti, and we got the globe out to have a look where it was, etc. etc. and 'steered' the conversation toward it that way. He worked out that the people there would need help, and would be hurt (and worse). It was important for me that he arrived to the conclusions he did himself, rather than me thrust him in front of the TV to see the horrific scenes for himself, which I think he would feel more distance from... am I making sense?

So to answer the question -- I don't think I would purposely make my son watch the news to make him learn about tragedies in the world while he is so young. Right now his little world is our street, our neighbourhood, etc. etc. And for now, that's okay. He's right on the cusp of being able to grasp that the world is a bigger, wider place, and that horrid things happen sometimes in less fortunate areas but I think those sorts of lessons are best imparted over a longer period of time, and as my sons get older I will shield them less and less

To make a long story long... we ended the discussion that night by going online and making a donation to the relief fund. Which was 'his' idea. I hope it's something he will remember from when he was this age... I know I will.

Fri, 2010-01-29 04:55

SilverXeno

I think there's a difference between sharing age appropriate information and shielding your child or keeping them in a bubble. If it were a different subject, you wouldn't necesarrily show them graphic images, right? If it were sex you wouldn't whip out the home made porn.

If my child has an oppurtunity to see it, or it happens to be on and she asks about it, I will explain that an earthquake caused terrible damage. Some buildings fell, people have been injured, some had injuries so bad that people died. I don't think I need to tell her that people are so desperate for survival that they resorted to drinking their own urine. Trying to make her grasp the magnitude of the situation isn't important right now. Educating her is. Telling her the worst possible thing to make her "get it" is likely only to scare her. She'll learn that happens one day. She doesn't need to be burdened with it right now.

*And please don't take this as a "you are not doing the right thing for your child" comment...YOUR 6 yr old might totally be able to handle it. I don't think mine could.

Mon, 2010-01-25 14:55

SilverXeno

I have a 6 year old...and I usually watch the news in the morning while we're getting ready for school. Only once, has she ever commented on anything, it was last November I think...Obama was on TV, and I don't even remember why, but she was like, "Okay, this guy is ALWAYS on the news, who the heck is he??" I explained he is the president of our country...so the things he says and does are on the news so people will know what he's doing. That was it, and the end of the conversation.

As far as Haiti...either she hasn't been in the room, or it wasn't as prevalent on the news while we were near the TV...it really hasn't come up. We moved recently from Florida to New York...and while we were in Florida, our church there sponsored a church & orphanage in Haiti. Before Christmas the children in the various Sunday school classes were making up gift bags to send to the children in the orphanage. We got a brown paper bag, and we had to fill it with things for the age group on the front of the bag. I have a 2 year old and (at that time) a 5 year old...so our bags were for children of similar ages. The teachers had explained the situation, and that these children don't have parents or a lot of things...and we were going to send them Christmas presents. My daughter really was excited about it, and I could tell she "got it".

In the next few days my husband will leave for Afghanistan. He'll be gone anywhere from 12-18 months, just depending on how long his unit needs to be there to finish up their jobs. Having to explain that is hard enough. I don't think I shield my kids from other events in the news, but I also don't sit them in front of the TV & go, "See...this is what's happening." My 6 year old is very empathetic. She used to cry for babies on TV when they were crying, "Mommy, please get that baby out of the TV so we can hold him and make him stop crying!" I remember she wasn't even quite 2 when she made that request the first time. Now that she's older, it's easier to explain that it's a TV show, or it's not real, that baby's mommy is nearby to help. Watching the news and purposefully exposing her to it seems like it would just crush her emotionally.

Mon, 2010-01-25 07:42

ShevonHinkley

I absolutely have been letting my son see the news coverage, mainly because my husband is on the USS Bunker Hill in Haiti right now helping. He was diverted from his original mission two days after the quake, and they are now on the island La Gonave, Haiti. They have been handing out water and food, and giving much needed help to the people on that small island. My son is only three years old, but I have allowed him to watch most of the CNN coverage and I have explained that the people need help. I told him that Daddy was going to help the people, and that's why we weren't going to be seeing him for a while. I feel it really helped, because my son watched his father sail away four days before the earthquake, and now he understands a little bit of why daddy leaves so often and for so long. This is the best way we could have shown him what it is that his dad does when he's gone. Now when he sees images of the destruction in Haiti he says, "Look, those people need help!" He also says he misses his dad, but he doesn't ask when he'll be home or where he is, because he knows. The fact is, military life is a little less sheltered anyway. Like it or not, our kids know about war, guns and bombs. My son has had meals with his dad on a warship. This is life for us.

Here's a link to a story about his ship and their efforts. We're so proud.
http://www.navytimes.com/news/2010/01/navy_bunkerhill_012210/

Mon, 2010-01-25 00:12