Homeschool: Good or Bad?

Ewgwergjhvw

Wed, 2010-03-03 18:40

I realize I'm coming in a lot late on this, but I'd at least like to throw my 2 cents in, in case anyone is still reading.

I was in public school until the 8th grade. I was a better than average student, even being tossed into a few gifted & honors classes along the way. A lot of my teachers loved me...but I also had horrendous personality clashes with a few...and that seemed to RUIN any learning or experience I could have gained from that teacher.

By the time I was in middle school, I was miserable. I liked learning, but school was *not* about learning anymore. It was about who was the cutest, the best kisser, the fastest, the strongest, or the one with the longest hair. I had a very outgoing personality, but I couldn't manage to use it to my advantage and click with kids in my classes. I think I finished the 8th grade with a small handful of acquaintances.

My mom had remarried a few years earlier and with a now 2 income household revisited the idea of homeschooling. She wanted to do it when I entered kindergarten, but circumstances prevented it for a number of years. Now she was in a position where she could home school us during the week, and work weekends (my step-father owned his own cabinetry business).

At first, I hated the idea. Then I met with my high school counselor who was supposed to help me choose my classes for 9th grade. I knew what was required of me as far as credits were concerned, and I knew what I was interested in. I told the counselor what I wanted...she shot down EVERY ONE of my considerations, INCLUDING my orchestra elective. I was first chair violin, no WAY was I going to even consider dropping it. If I didn't get into it now, I wouldn't be able to compete at the state level later. I walked away with a bunch of classes and electives I hated, that I didn't want to do. I met up with a friend after...and she had a different counselor. She got all the classes she wanted, including the ones that MY counselor said were not recommended for Freshmen. I was ticked. I went home...and told my mother she could home school me for the next school year. She already had plans to do it for my younger siblings (all in elementary school). She was actually very nervous about it, b/c she thought she'd be able to work her way slowly to high school with my younger siblings.

She got in with an umbrella school that helps you with the legal aspects of homeschooling & figuring out your state & local requirements, and even curriculum. They also helped with electives, sports, and other programs that don't really work out as a singleton event. (Ever played basketball alone?) Eventually, we no longer needed help from the umbrella school and got involved in a Non-Denom church where there were a lot of homeschooling families. My mom was a former Catholic and hadn't attended church in many years, and our homeschooling was not based on religion.

Eventually, I graduated high school. My GPA was 4.2. And that's not fluffed up with a bunch of weird electives...that's the GPA for my core classes...the ones that require a certain number of credits for me to graduate. I was required to have 24 credits, I graduated with 34. I got a modest 1200 on my SATs (I could have tried harder, but I had concert tickets for the Backstreet Boys later). Then I attempted to enroll in a community college. They essentially walked me out the door & said that a diploma with my mother's signature was not a high school diploma! Even though, according to the state, my mother was officially running a private school. Things changed considerably in the months following that stand-off. :) My siblings all enrolled behind me with no problems...and one of them even did a dual-enrollment where he spent his last year of high school ALSO attending community college. Essentially getting credit for his classes in 2 places.

So, I never went to college. I don't mind, I didn't want to waste my time on educating myself for a career, when I really just wanted to be a wife and mother. I am currently in training to become a licensed Doula. A career where you gain your best lessons OUT of the classroom.

I'm still on the fence about homeschooling my own kids. I would LOVE to. But we are a military family, and I worry about trying to get into new groups of homeschooling families all the time...finding kids that are the same ages as my children to play with. And even different laws from one place to another. Do I really want to do all that? Not at present. My oldest will be 6 soon and is excelling in Kindergarten. Maybe if I see her getting bogged down by her teachers or classmates, I will consider homeschooling. I did teach her quite a bit during her pre-K time, but she seemed a little hard-headed & opinionated. Not sure where she gets that... ;)

Fri, 2009-11-20 21:48

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Fri, 2009-04-17 17:30

I have a question. Yes I'm biased, but this is in earnest: what are the chances of a home schooled child to continue to university? Are there statistics on this?

Thu, 2009-02-19 08:47

Thank you to all who have responded to this one.
I would like to explore certain challenges. We've all seemed to agree that homeschool vs public or outside school is a personal choice. Neither is good or bad, right or wrong.
I would like to keep to the topic, but turn now to some of the challenges that we face with either choice. Perhaps we each have insight and strengths that compliment anothers weakness here. I could use some of that.
I am affraid that I will fail my kids if I homeschool them. Its not because I don't think I'm smart or anything. I am smart. I don't think that qualifies me as a good teacher though.
My first grader reports daily on how bored she is. Her "homework" takes her two minuets and is extremely inconvenient to her. She always wants to know why she has to do it. It's too easy and seems stupid, even to me, to make her do it. I do anyway because I don't want her to fail anything based solely on the fact that she's too bored to prove she knows that stuff already.
I'm not saying she's ready for algebra, but dang.
I'm kind of a .... I don't know how to describe myself. But I don't like schedules. If I suspect that I HAVE to do something every single day, I'm gonna hate WHATEVER that something is. I hate it that I have to eat everyday sometimes, but I love food and the act of eating itself. I know, I'm a strange fish. I'm not sure what makes me this way or how to change it or if change is necessary. Even though I feel I HAVE to take my daughter to school everyday, I do it. I don't like it.
Would I feel as though I HAVE to teach my daughter every single day at this exact time or that if I homeschool? Will I start to hate the thought, then stop doing it? I dunno.
My husband is more regimented than I am. If I homeschool, he will not just step back and allow me to do it however, whenever. Its good that he wants to be involved, but I will want to do it MY way, he will want to incorporate HIS way. This will be another challenge.
My daughter WANTs to go to school so very badly. She has friends there. I am not a social person, in person. I don't hang out with other mothers in person and don't really want to. It's not because I don't like other mothers, I'm just a bit of a loner. This is my socializing right here.
My kids are the opposite. They want to socialize in person, hang out, all that. If I homeschool, that could be a very detrimental side effect. I, personally, could very likely stunt my childrens social lives and growth.
But they are being stunted now in their creativity, in their ability to grow as fast as they are ready to.
I think homeschool would be best for my children if I weren't disfunctional in the way that I am. For now they will go to public schools.... every single day.... for so stinkin long. They will not want to progress with me when they get home, they will want free, unscheduled play time and rest from the endless drolling and structure they've received over the previous 7 hours of the day.
Structure is good, some. I think the way it is set up now, it just ends up being tiring. My daughter is not ready to explore when she gets home, she's tired. So am I by that time of day.
We've got an amazing and diverse group going here. Makes me so happy.
If we start helping and guiding eachother here, asking about specific challenges and stuff, this topic could even surpass the circumcision conversation. (Talking about penis shapes is pretty fun stuff! Ha! :)
Any thoughts, suggestions???

Sat, 2009-02-14 13:27

I'll admit I'm actually not a mom, but I'm seventeen and I've been homeschooled for about five years now and it was the best decision of my life so far to get out of the public school institution.

A little history, my mom pulled me out about halfway through seventh grade after I'd been falling behind for quite a while due to lack of time with my teachers to go over things I didn't understand. They were always dealing with the misbehaving kids first and the ones who were actually interested in learning second.

Public school had also been turning me into a terrible, rude automaton at home. I constantly bickered with my mom and when I wasn't screaming abusive epithets at her I was crying because I had to go to school with cramps or I didn't know what to wear or a boy ignored me or any number of other issues that plague the average teenage girl's stressed mind.

I personally abhor the people who use "improper socialization" as an insult to homeschooling. The vast majority of kids I knew in public school were mean, vindictive little snots who knew too much too early and were eager to bully and tell your kids more than they will ever relay to you. Yes, many homeschooled kids can come off as 'weird', I'm related to one who was definitely a little socially off but now that he's gotten older and gone out in the world he's turning out great.

Isn't "socialization" supposed to be preparing them for the adult world? So why surround them with childish, improper behavior that they'll just have to unlearn when they get out into the real world? Public school is a stuffy, enclosed environment where they deal with the same people day in and day out, whereas homeschooling is a constant event that involves learning everywhere you go and making anything into a dialogue for a lesson. I'm not saying to turn your kid into a little adult, quite the opposite actually. Homeschooling allows for unrestricted childhood where learning is play, it's not 10 to 2 learning where you count the minutes to the final bell. You educate as you go through the day and discover information together with your kids as you see new people and things.

It's also common knowledge that things we find out about because we're genuinely interested in them are much more likely to stick with us than memorized facts we read out of a textbook. So much we're fed in public school is things that we'll never actually use in our chosen fields and everyday lives and are hours out of our life that we can't get back.

Our kind of homeschooling isn't typical, I never followed any kind of a curriculum and my mom has allowed me to come into a love of learning on my own. In the past few years especially I've developed a hunger for knowledge that public school had extinguished in me. I absolutely love books and about a year ago I got a job at a library reference desk that I never could have taken were I in high school and every day there's something to be found out. It's also given me an intense appreciation for the information to be found within every library's shelves, the equivalent of a college degree in every way is sitting there waiting to be read.

I personally believe socialization is overrated. Life isn't about the number of friends you have or how likable you are, it's about being happy. And I am the happiest seventeen year old I know. I love my family, my mom is my best friend and my niece lights up my life, I love my body exactly the way it is, I enjoy where I work even though it's often frustrating, I love books and knowledge and finding things out. I love my friends who are all ten years older than me but treat me like an equal because I act like one and most of all I love having the freedom to be outside of the box. And for the record, I'm not at all religious and I consider myself a libertarian.

I've found that talking to kids as if they were adults and treating them accordingly will get you more respect and will turn out a wiser, wittier finished child that you can actually be friends with than dropping them off with a stranger and even stranger kids could ever do.

Good god this is long, I apologize. Just please don't ever be too busy to teach your kids something new every day.

Thu, 2009-02-05 00:36

I'm fine with people wanting to homeschool. I myself could not do it...no way.

The only problem I've sort of had with people homeschooling is that some parents see some very odd things as education. I mean, hanging out all day letting them color or make art is not really homeschooling...when they are school age, ya know.

I've gone to a few blogs of homeschoolers to read posts of them sitting on quilts, while knitting, watching their kids read some books and run in the grass. Well that sounds lovely and all...I do that with my kids, but I'm not sure how productive just experiencing life is when they should be learning how to multiply!

I don't think parents can provide everything for their kids. I really don't. I think they need and should experience as much interaction with other adults and peers as they can...and some independence. Going off to school each day offers them the chance to be self sufficient, confront new issues not only from education, but also socially. There isn't a day that either of my children doesn't learn a new life lesson at school...something I couldn't have provided them in the confines of our home. I think that kind of education is crucial in making well rounded adults.

Home is a wonderful place, a safe place. But having your kids at home that much limits them, I feel. It also can make them leary of stepping outside of this comfort zone.

When my kids are home for long breaks (we are in year round school with breaks ever few weeks) I find that they get a bit weird about even wanting to leave home. All they end up wanting to do after a while is stay in their pjs and stay home. That's fine for a while. But I'd hate to have to make home a scheduled, routiney kind of place to incorporate school in some serious way. Home should be where you flee to after dealing with such things in life.

Sun, 2009-02-01 10:11

It's been a few days since I checked this site and sure enough the home school debate keeps getting hotter.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's okay to respectfully disagree about this subject. While I do not believe in homeschooling I respect that fact that home schooling parents are so passionate about it. We are having this discussion because all of us here care deeply about our kids whether they are home schooled or attend public or private establishments.

That's why it didn't suprise me that "Growing Up Artists" took offense to my earlier comments. Clearly, you feel so strongly about this subject you tend to lash out easily at anyone who questions you. I get it. But too bash the poor little lunch lady? Please. Like it or not everybody kids encounter at school are important even the frickin' lunch lady. Maybe somebody served you a spoliled meatloaf at school when your a kid? Not sure what your beef is with kitchen workers. And no smarty pants I didn't grow up in a sterile home. Clearly, you refuse to believe that good schools exist and can feel like a home environment. But such schools are out there. I received an excellent public school education in Chicago and later in Northern Virginia. My husband's education was also top notch. And my daughter's schooling is already off to a good start. She is attending private school. While she is only a toddler her beloved Montessori preschool in Florida quickly became a home away from home to her. There was incredible amount of love in that classroom. We have no doubt that we will find another good school for her in the D.C. area.

And Dana out of all the people involved in this discussion you seem the most level headed. I did read your article about socialization. Interesting reading.

That's it for now...keep the debate going!

Cheers.

Tracy
http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com

Fri, 2009-01-30 19:31

We've lucked out in terms of public schools living in an island community with maybe 2000 people my daughter is one of seven kindergartners in her class of k-2. There are 30 students in the entire school. And there are SO many benefits to this schooling environment over a larger school. For starters, my daughter who is the oldest of three gets the experience of having a "big sibling" because the older kids (the school goes to fifth grade) are stunningly understanding, patient, and accepting of the younger kids at the school and include them in games and socializing to a level I was initially shocked to see. These are future middle schoolers (the fifth graders that is) calling five year olds to "Come sit here! sit by me!" Because I think, let's be honest, if you don't include everyone in a group of 30 total students you might not have enough people to play.

Switching to talking about homeschooling specifically; people are always shocked that my husband and I don't home school. I think because we had intended to teach at one point and are fairly well educated that it is just assumed we'd teach our children at home. Problem is...I tried, oh lord how I tried. We couldn't get the eldest in pre-school so in a fit of feeling that she might be behind when she started kindergarten I threw out all the stops and I was the nicest and friendliest but firm with trying to teach her things and she all but threw books and pencils at my head. She absolutely refused to listen, she would not focus on anything even fun card games and she certainly didn't want me HELPING her with anything EVER.

But overachiever does not even begin to describe my eldest when it comes to her reaction to public school. The child was only there for half the first month and received student of the month. I've had to talk to her teacher specifically about helping us instill humility because there isn't a single person at the school who does not absolutely love her and think she is the smartest and cutest kid they have ever seen and they were telling her just that far far too often for her tiny ego not to get out of hand. She would run a mile and perform back flips if only her teacher asked her to. For my children, or at least my eldest right now public school is perfect for her.

Fri, 2009-01-30 13:14

I feel like I am late to the party but here is my two cents, for what it is worth.

We are a homeschooling family and I view it as a life style choice. We made that choice for a variety of reasons and evaluate our decision every year for every child. It is always interesting to me when I meet someone new and they find out I homeschool. They always feel the need to either:
1. justify their personal education choice for their family. (let me make my choice and you are free to make yours...)
2. slap me with a badge of honor. (if you only knew how many days I think it would be so much easier to pat them on the poe-poe as they get onto the big yellow bus.)
3. roll their eyes and go into the "socialization" lecture. (PLEASE you mean the type of socialization that goes on while unsupervised on the playground, YA so sorry they are missing that...)
4. assume I am a religious conservative. (news sells when it is about the freaky religious homeschool family - Just like there are bad teachers, they account for a very small percentage.)

In my opinion our education system is being held hostage, not by the teachers (maybe by their union...but that is for another day) and by our elected officials. To change it we as parents are going to have to start to demand that change for the sake of our little ones. So, the bottom line is, whether you homeschool, public, private, or a combination of all of the above, you still have to be very involved, maybe even more involved then I am. Thank you for being involved in this forum, it gives me hope that maybe there is a growing tide of change coming on - however you choose to voice your opinion.

Thu, 2009-01-29 22:39

piraterose: when i taught a couple of years ago, we were living in jacksonville, fl. i can TOTALLY understand why you would "afterschool" (never heard of that term before today). and that comes from a school teacher! :) you gotta do what you gotta do.

Thu, 2009-01-29 13:18

Great topic! Very timely since I just finished posting up a blog about our homeschool field trip. :)

Make the best decision for your family, be it homeschool, public or private school and your children will thrive.

Thu, 2009-01-29 09:51