Many couples and families facing problem in their relationship with others, whether it is between partners or between parents and kids. Sometimes dispute in marriage relationship formulated in to much bigger issues and have no solution other then divorce. But I believe that every worst relationship can be saved if you are seeking right divorce counseling program. Usually couples are not aware of divorce effects on their life, but counseling make them aware of all of its bad consequences like poverty, depression, anxiety, parenting, child custody, property division and many more. And after all such difficulties couples again want to restore their relationship rather then trying for divorce. http://www.marriage-counselors.net/

I just wanted to say this is one of my fave Momversations. Thanks to everyone who shared their views.

My 8th grade home-ec teacher told me about my parents' divorce. She'd read it in the newspaper and thought it then appropriate to say, "sorry to hear about your parents' divorce" in class. I then told my mom, who didn't know my dad had filed. Both parents have said if they'd worked as hard on their first marriage to each other as they have on subsequent relationships, they'd still be married. Mom's forbidden my brother and me from divorcing. It's kind of a joke, but we've also taken it to heart. Spouses included. Dad is married to a total psycho with matching children (one is currently in jail for what the newspaper called a one-man crime spree. Details unknown.). Wish her under a bus pretty much every day. It's been 20 years. Of my dad being emotionally abused by a nutcase. Who deserves to be under a bus. My therapist compared her with a child molester which wasn't much of a surprise for me. So yeah, divorce affected who and how I dated, the friends I made, what I valued in people, what I wouldn't put up with, and led me to the self-help section in Borders to books about emotional abuse -- which is hard to find when it's the man being abused.

I actually wrote a paper about divorce and whether or not it always has a negative impact on the children involved. The statistical facts say no, it doesn't have to have a negative impact. How well the children handle it depends on several factors. Basically, it has to be made clear to them that they are not the reason for the divorce, they need to know that both of their parents love them, and that they'll still get to see both parents. One of the biggest fears of children having to deal with their parents divorcing is that of the possibility of not seeing mom or dad anymore. Custody should always be even if at all possible, with as little stress on the child as possible (you know, the parents shouldn't live on different sides of the country.) Maybe my own personal experiences don't really count here. I wasn't old enough at the time to have retained any memories of my parents splitting. It's a little sad, but in the first memory I have of my father, I didn't know he was my father. I remember my older siblings going to hug him, and I stood back for a moment because I had no idea who he was or why they were hugging him. So obviously, having no memory of that time period, I don't know on what terms they divorced. I don't know if they fought or if he walked out on her. All I know is that, from my earliest memory, my parents have always been very friendly towards each other. It would surprise my friends when they found out they weren't together anymore. My mother won primary custody, with my dad having visitation rights on the weekends, but she didn't hold that over him. He was allowed to drop by whenever he wanted to. I can recall him coming over and making dinner for us a lot. I have never witnessed them fighting. They were both always on the same page of parenting. It seems like they did their best to not do any of the usual divorced ex-spouse behavior. He lives half an hour away, but my dad was always there when I needed him. When I was fifteen and got in a fight with my mom, they let me move to his house. I stayed there for six months until my relationship with my mother mended. Even though we weren't on speaking terms, my mother made sure my father knew he had to buy me tampons, haha. Those were good times. I guess the overall point is that they let bygones be bygones. For whatever reason, their relationship didn't last, but they didn't let that get in the way of a casual friendship and their unbreakable partnership as the parents of children. My dad is currently going through some medical issues. His doctor told him to come in with a family member to discuss treatment options. My mom was the family member he took. Even after divorce, you should still be family.

My parents divorced when I was 11. I remember them telling me and my brother and instantly I covered my face in my hands and got ready to cry... and minute later I thought to myself, "Why am I not crying????" It was because my dad was pretty mean and having him leave would be good for our family. Divorce didn't have a bad effect on me like I thought it should. We were happy after that.

Mindy, have no fear. Of course your divorce will have an effect (maybe positive, maybe negative) on your children, but so would remaining married just "for the sake of the kids" or due to financial constraints. Like surprisedsuburban wife, I remember, from a very early age, thinking that my parents should not have been together. This was not a case of any form of abuse or adultery. My mother never seemed to have much support from my father and my father never seemed to care enough about her values to work at that. I always felt my mother deserved to be happier, and that has left its mark. I have a wonderful man in my life who does make me very happy, but when our relationship seems even a tiny bit similar to that of my parents, I have freak outs. The effect of most anything on a child is not black-and-white. I certainly don't think it very insightful or accurate for someone to say that divorce ruins children. It depends on the child, on the situation, and on the parents. Mindy, you seem thoughtful enough to have considered your decision and any of its effects carefully. You knew your situation better than anyone, and if you deemed divorce the best answer, it was.

I have to say I was so pleased to finally be breaking up with my husband! Ecstatic. I knew from the beginning that it wasn't going to last, but I think the whole point is that kids change everything. It is difficult to explain to a 3,4,5, 6 or even 10 year old, why our family isn't Mommy & Daddy. For years I dreaded the subject matter of any and all books and TV shows, because more often then not, the premise is family- a family that is often defined by a mommy, daddy and kids. After continually being stumped for answers to my daughter's questions, i made it a point to seek out books and TV shows that portrayed ALL types of families. Single parent mom, single parent dad, two mommies, two daddies, inter-racial, books, movies and TV shows exist, though they're a bit harder to come by. I expose her to those to ensure that she never feels as though there is something wrong with our family (though you can never guarantee what your child will feel about anything), that every type of family faces probelms, and that a family is what you make it. I do not bog her down with my problems; financial, emotional, or otherwise, because she can not control any of it. Just the other day, it was all I could do not to stay in my room and cry because of a mortgage that has gone way out of control. My instinct was to leave her alone with the TV and let SpongeBob get her through to bed time, but I chose to do a craft project instead. While we sat togther and made popsicle sculptures, I temporarily put my woes to the side WITHOUT making them her problem. Its our job to give them a happy life regardless of the choices we make. I also know for A FACT that all of my woes would've been doubled (maybe tripled) had I not gotten that unhealthy relationship out of both our lives.

My parents have been married for 35 years this June. They should have gotten divorced EONS ago. I spent my childhood wishing and hoping that they would get a divorce, and still kind of feel this way. My father is NOT the right person for my mother and it has killed me for years to watch her (vibrant, smart, awesome) stagnating because hse is married to an insane control freak with a very bad temper. Do not feel bad for divorcing Mindy. If it was the right thing to do and you and your ex really checked in and honestly felt that way, then believe me, your kids would have eventually figured out that you weren't right together if you'd stayed together. In my parents' case they did not stay together for my sister's and my sakes. They did it because it's cheaper and (in the short term) simpler, and because, well, my father just plain said no. To my educated, amazing mother. Every time she brought them close by admitting that she's never been in love with him and won't be. And yes, I know way too much about their marriage, wish I didn't, and wish they had ended it long ago. My childhood would have been much much less traumatic and much calmer if they'd just gotten that divorce.

My parents have been separated for 25 years now. My mother refused to get a divorce because of the 'stigma' that's attached to divorce in the Indian culture. They also thought that staying together would be good for the kids. So my brother and I lived in the same house with BOTH my parents even though they never spoke to each other. Now let me tell you that even though I was loved by my parents unconditionally, there was no 'love' in the house. I grew up in a very tense environment, dreading my parent's next fight. It came to a point where they wouldn't even fight, but would send messages via a messenger - me. Needless to say I couldn't wait to get out of there. I wish I were strong enough to say that those conditions haven't affected me, but given my relationship history and the fact that I've realized that I'm happier single, I can't say so. I look at my brother and I know it's affected him even more. My point is - I WISH my parents would've gotten a divorce and lived their own lives. I'm not saying that people should get a divorce at the first sign of trouble. Love is DEFINITELY worth fighting for. However, if a couple is happier once they're separated, it is definitely BETTER for the children.