How Do You Make Your Interfaith Marriage Work?

Lomwefgbnbv

Thu, 2010-03-04 10:47

Hi I'm Emilie and I am a high school student living in Sandpoint Idaho. For our English class we are writing research reports for our teacher and I decided to write about interfaith marriage. We need to interview and I thought this may be a solution. If anyone the time and could answer these questions as soon as possible it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your time!

1. What is the most difficult aspect of the wedding ceremony?

2. What are some of the most unknown challenges of an interfaith marriage?

3. In your opinion, how is the best way to give children of an interfaith marriage a religious upbringing?

4. Do you believe interfaith marriages require more commitment than regular marriages and if so why?

5. Do you think most religious officials approve of interfaith marriages?

Thank you again! -Emilie

Mon, 2009-04-20 18:40

Oh, what a hot topic for me! I go to Russian Orthodox Chirch, and my husband has got very interested in Buddhism (but he doesn't practice anything, just read about it). Our daughters are not baptized (though my and my husband's grandmothers were upset about it). But my older girl goes to church with me sometimes.

A couple of months ago my older daughter (she's 5) started asking questions: "What is that thing, that a priest gives you in that spoon? I want to eat it too! I wanna be baptized" After we discussed it a little, she took her Ken doll and Pocahontas doll: Ken was "a priest" and Pocahontas came to him, and asked if she can be baptized, and he told her "Well, then you need read the Bible" - and she went to do it and finally was baptized :)

After that I tried to find a Bible for 5-year old children, so that the text won't be to difficult to understand, but also not to formal (which makes it hard to understand, what's the point of this whole thing, too). And we read and discussed Bible with my daughter.

My husband said, well, that's fine, if she wants it, but I will keep sharing with her my opinion about life, death, God, etc, and who knows, maybe she'll change her faith some day? Then the priest in my church said, that in cases like ours he suggests to wait untill my girl is old enough to decide it by herself, which one (mom's, dad's, someone else's?) is her way (BTW, such a suggestion is not typical for Orthodox :) )...

So we finally got 3 children Bibles with beautiful pictures, and my daughter likes to look at them and listen to some stories, she still goes to church with me sometimes, and I tell her about Christ, and holidays like Easter, when they come (we have no big problem with Christmas, because after USSR New Year is the main winter holiday, not Christmas), and my husband still shares with her some of his thoughts about the world, life, death...

I understand Alice, I'd prefer to have one religion to raise a kid in, but maybe what we have in interfaith families - is just a true reflection of the whole world... And our children would learn love, tolerance and pluralizm from their parents... Maybe Christ won't mind those things?

Fri, 2009-04-10 06:04

My mom sings in the Unitarian Choir and is super involved in the Unitarian church. Love it. Such a great group of open-minded loving people. I think I'll always be a dabbler. Subscribing to one religion has never appealed to me. I think I'll pass the same torch onto my kids that was passed on to me in terms of teaching my children to teach themselves.

Wed, 2009-04-08 22:15

I am of the firm belief that any religion that is forced upon my children will ultimately be rejected, in some form. Whether or not they abandon the religion or simply go about the steps without thinking about them, I feel that the spiritual side will suffer.

Perhaps it's simply because I was raised Catholic and had too many rules. We don't Believe that. We don't Believe this. Why? Why not? Who says? Some man in some building 200 years ago? Why? Why him? Why is my opinion any less valuable than any "ordained" person?

Obviously, I still have issues with Religions. I felt that every church I attended, people were there for the community and not God. I can find friends other places. I can find God much easier while sitting on the grass, breathing deeply, being peaceful.

My kids are being raised to ask questions. When they ask me why God made tornadoes, or poisonous snakes, or why we die, I ask them what they think. I tell them what I think. We talk and I end up realizing that children are deeply spiritual, if we allow them the freedom to think for themselves.

No disrespect to any families who raise their kids in a strict religion. I truly hope that your family is happy and remains so. I can only speak from what I have experienced and my experience is that I lost God for quite some time. It wasn't until I let go of RELIGION that I found spirituality....

Wed, 2009-04-08 15:23

I really wish one of these parents tackled atheism.

Atheists/agnostics may only make up 6% of the population in America, but we’re talking about almost 200,000 people (while there are only 1.2% religious Jewish people).

For not one of these panelists to be an atheist says something I think.

Wed, 2009-04-08 11:35

1. My husband's family is Jewish (holiday Jewish at best (more cultural Jewish)
2. My mother and her side of the family is Catholic. (holiday catholics at best)
3. I was confirmed Catholic. But at this point, I consider myself agnostic
4. My dad was raised atheist.
5. My sister and her husband go to the United Church of Christ.

So I was really waiting to address this with Elisabeth when she was ready to comprehend the subject on a more critical level (and ready to come to me with questions), but I realize that I need to start introducing it to her before someone else does. My 5 year old daughter is very accepting of what people tell her and doesn't question much. The problem is I haven't fixed it in my mind how I'm going to explain it to her.

I guess it would be easier if I was a strong believer - because then I could just address there is a God and leave the whole Jesus debate to a later time. Already we have had situations were family members are starting to ask her if she knows who god is and if she knows her bible stories. But how do I introduce her to stories that I don't necessarily believe in myself.

What I do know is that I don't want to do it the way my parents did - sent me to catechism, but did not "practice" at home. We didn't go to church on a regular basis, say grace, pray at bedtime or discuss religion at all. And while I was confirmed, my sister was not (due to a move and lack of a church they were happy with). It just made the whole subject pretty wishy-washy for me. It was a do as I say, not as I do situation.

My husband is unhelpful on the subject - in fact I can't get him pinned down on exactly what he believes himself. My heart hurts not knowing how to broach the topic with my daughter myself. I want my daughter to have a strong spiritual and moral base - but I just don't have faith in any organized religion - although we celebrate the holidays with both sides of the extended family.

Pretty much as a couple it's not part of our dialogue. I ask him what he believes and he says he believes in the "hockey gods" and I say that I have more of a "fear of my mother" than I have a "fear of god". I know people say you shouldd discuss this before the kids comes along, but considering I got pregnant 3 months after meeting my husband, we are kind of discovering things along the way.

Wed, 2009-04-08 06:20