OMG! Now I know what's wrong! I have been with my husband for 12 years, married for 8 this year. He's farted in front of me twice that I've heard in those 12 years. I leave the door open to the bathroom for EVERYTHING (there is no privacy when you have 2 small kids) what's the point of keeping it closed. Sex? What's that? And when did I stop having it? Its been so long I can't remember.I guess its all over for me...

Hysterical. Yeah, I'm with Daphne once again. We've got a running joke about our marriage lasting until the kids are off at college (20years). It's just something we say when we're really exhausted and want an easy life. We're totally committed and we think that after 20 years of trying our best to be happy it might be enough to hold onto, but you never know. If we're not happy in 20 years then we certainly owe it to ourselves to try to make a happy life. Right? Anyway, to keep it fresh? With two little ones (toddler and newborn) we barely have time for quickie sex. We take it anywhere we can get it, any time. I guess that's kind of exciting though, too, isn't it? Sneaking around, having sex on the stairs. Maybe? Naw.. it's really not that glamorous.

Going back to the 'toxic friends' post - a lot of my friends are free-loaders... Like, they invite me to see their new house at the edge of a different town, and I go and I see their kids and visit in their house a few times - then I say, "Hey, why don't you come out here, you havent seen our new house either!" And it's, "Oh, no I dont want to drive that far." I think the thing that attracted eric and I to each other is that NEITHER of us are free loaders and we are BOTH hard workers. We met at an office we both worked in and we recognized that we both were willing to help people that needed help and we both worked hard and had fun after our shift. So when our son was born and we bought our first house, we had to give time and attention to our child and we had to work harder to pay our bills... thus upping the attraction.

My hubby and I are going on 12 years and having a 10 year old, we started with kids early on. I am reminded every once in a while that keeping connected as friends is so important during the 'kid-years' I keep thinking that when the kids are gone, what then? What will we have left when they are off raising their own kids? We need to keep that degree of commonality where we are able to connect on things other than our roles as parents. We love doing "projects" together, like around the house type things. The whole thing from start to finish allows us opportunities to disagree, challenge our way of doing things to perhaps come to a compromise, dream up things together, etc... Our kids are in school now and we both work from home, so we have lots of opportunities to be together without little ones around. But when the kids were younger, date nights were imperative. Keeping sex a priority is also something that helps us connect. The more you have it, the more you want it-seriously. When it's been a while, I get very independent and really don't need it and that translates emotionally for me, i don't connect with him and really don't need him too much. Even though I'm furious with him as I write this (which is why I've retreated to the computer) I still love him deeply. He is my best friend, closer to him than any girlfriend. I would give my life for him and he for me, just as I would for my kids.

We love Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, SVU, and Brothers and Sisters... AND we often pause during the shows to discuss the hot topics. (EG: What do you think of...) Thanks to the DVR, we can then forward to the rest of the show without commercials...Leads to great conversations...;-)

I'm with Maggie. I love my husband more than my child. I do love her dearly but I didn't get married to have kids. I got married to be with my husband hopefully for the rest of our lives. Personally I think that alone helps to keep a marriage fresh. I also agree that staying connected is almost more important than date night or anything like that although you may need date night to reconnect. I've found looking at our marriage that way has also made parenting a joint effort rather than mommy vs. daddy or daddy as the babysitter rather than the parent. We spend time after our daughter goes to bed together reconnecting, playing games, whatever. We try to get out alone when we can. I'm lucky in that he's a teacher so he has good connections for babysitters. If you're looking for a babysitter and know a teacher, they're a good source. Another source is early childhood education programs at local colleges. We do fart and belch in front of each other but not like 7 year old boys or really 5 year old girls for that matter. And we each try to do nice things for each other whether it's leaving the seat down or sneaking chocolate into his lunchbox.

4 years, 1 wedding, and 1 outspoken toddler-with-sleep-issues later, my husband still puts the toilet seat down before he leaves the bathroom. This amazes me. I guess because I assumed, when we were dating, that he was being polite, that he was putting the toilet seat down for me, respecting my bathroom-aesthetic--or something. But it's carried over into marriage and baby-stress-time. I mean, I forget everything--his name, my name, how old we are--I forget to dust, or to do anybody's laundry but the baby's--I forget to put gas in the minivan, or to use my baby food coupons--but he NEVER forgets to put the toilet seat down. Something about this makes me want to know him, to accost him after the baby is asleep and say, Let's frikkin' do it. Flowers? Chocolates? Date nights? Handcuffs? Right now the toilet seat is working pretty well. I must remember not to belch like a truck driver when we're alone together......It's only fair......

Just finding time to go out together without the kids is really helpful. It's so hard when the babies are still little. I remember finally getting a chance to go out and finding it really strange to hold hands again. It had been so long since we had done that because we were always carrying the baby, pushing the stroller, or carrying the diaper bag.

I've always peed with the door open-great training for being the parent of a toddler. :) I think that it's really hard to keep your marriage "fresh". Kids get in the way. Money gets in the way. kids get in the way. Above all, I think that talking about things other than your kids and about their bowel movements really help. You were attracted to each other prior to kids and you have to find "those people" again. Also, watching something other than cartoons helps a lot.