Wow what a great topic! I love hearing opinions from people in different parts of the country than me, it's so interesting! Here in VERY rural western Pennsylvania, that is a no brainer. I don't know if it would be possible to raise kids without guns. Everyone here has a gun. When I was 7 my dad bought me my first beebee gun (to my mothers surprise/dismay) and I absolutely loved it. Right now my husband and I have 2 beebee gun rifles just to shoot at little targets off our back porch for fun, and 2 real, very dangerous pistols that are for our protection. Now, this isn't a dangerous area. Very seldom does someone die of a gun on purpose here. However, coyotes and bear are a much bigger problem. We take our dog on long walks through the woods behind our house and we'd be down right stupid to not take a gun with us. Coyotes have made their way right into our backyards. They're over populated and a safety problem in our little town, legal to kill all year round. Another interesting thing, my husband and I are both military. While some people will think to themselves "See! That's what happens when you get a 7 year old girl a beebee gun!", I must remind you that my husband and I both work very non-violent office jobs. I also must remind you that our military is important, does important work, and keeps everyone here secure despite the sad fact that their job is essentially to kill the bad guys. So, my perspective is so drastically different from most people on here! I don't see how we could possibly raise our children without guns appearing somewhere. What I plan to do is very early on teach my children to RESPECT these weapons and what they can do, as my father has me. Even play guns were never allowed to be pointed at yourself or someone else. Another fact that we all need to face: When children play these good-guy-bad-guy games, that isn't far from the real world. There are good guys and bad guys! I think it's unavoidable that kids (especially little boys) are going to play some sort of violent game in their life. They're fun! That's all they care. I think rather than focusing on the fact that your kid is pretending to use a weapon, you need to focus on their context. Are they a hero? Are they saving Mary Jane? Or are they malicious? Do they say mean things to show they're intentionally trying to cause pain to someone? The intentions are so much more important than the fact that the stick they're holding is a gun in their mind.

We get this topic all the time at Raising Boys World because, even if you don't buy your son a toy gun, he really will still pick up anything - a stick, a spoon, a cracker, his own hands...and fashion it into a rifle. It's important to remember that this is all imaginative play and boys do tend to be especially attracted to these games because it is their way to express their protective and competitive feelings. If parents are still troubled with this behavior, a good idea is to talk with their kids and communicate some rules. Emphasize that it is great they are using their imagination and fantasies, but make rules about pretend-shooting at real people because it may "hurt their feelings" - so you would like for them to keep their targets imaginary or their fellow pretend-shooting enthusiasts. Other than that, if you are also teaching your child a respect for life and awareness of gun (or insert whatever other weapon) safety, there really is no harm in this imaginative play. Here is what some of the moms have to say about this issue at Raising Boys World. http://www.raisingboysworld.com/podcast/194-connversations-with-mothers-...

I am a little late on board to comment on this conversation but I wanted put my point of view out there. Personally I believe that good guy/bad guy play (killing or no) is a way that children learn to understand good verses bad. Everything kids do boils down to play and they use it to wrap their little minds around new things, and explore cause and effect of different situations. In the world today it is scary to see our kids playing in this manner, but if we guide them to learning to make the right choices this play can be a positive learning experience.

Referring again back to the earlier comment: "To me, it doesn't sit right, because pretend gun play is pretend killing. Would you be totally cool with your kid pretending to strangle someone, suffocate someone, stab someone, cut someone open with a chainsaw, beat someone with a baseball bat, run someone over with a car? I mean, what makes gun play the ok play violence?" I've never played it myself, but I'm aware that if you take those things and throw in a couple of prostitute avatars, you'd basically have Grand Theft Auto. It just doesn't seem as though enough parents are taking the whole video game obsession seriously. I hate to say it, but despite the controller, too many kids are "virtually" performing those behaviors on a regular basis in my opinion. Like it or not, tons of kids are "playing" with guns every single day. Scary.

"I pretend to die." For some reason, that really got me hard. Maybe because for me, it's not only about "guns (and swords and kicking and punching and biting and...) are bad and hurt," but also about dead is forever. Squash a bug and that's it. That bug is not coming back. I'm also torn over the whole Good Guys/Bad Guys thing. I feel like so many of our social and political problems are wrapped up in this idea that some people are "good guys" and some people are "bad guys." I get that that's a very natural, human thing, but it can also be an incredibly hurtful thing. For the most part, we're all good guys (who happen to disagree about big, important stuff). Having said all that, I think pretending is really, really important. When my son starts playing Good Guys/Bad Guys, I'm not going to stop him (as long as we're firmly in the "pretend" space), but I'm not going to be excited about it either. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to light some nag champa and center myself before drum circle.

I grew up with no guns allowed in our house - plastic or otherwise. And I wanted to do the same in our house now, with my children. However, outside influences and parents who don't see a problem with pretend guns have led us to having water guns and Cameron doing finger gun play (this bugs the crap out of me). NOTE!! Do not ever give violent/gun/knives toys as a birthday or holiday present...you just don't know what the parents are teaching their kids. And that brings me to my post yesterday about how an older child told my 4.5 year old that he had a REAL gun at his house, as if he was showing off. This scared the crap out of me and made me realize that just because *I* say NO to guns and don't talk about them, doesn't mean my child will not come into contact with them thus I MUST teach him about guns and gun safety...other than "No guns allowed." It was a wake up call. http://theohanamama.com/2009/10/super-scary-other-peoples-guns-and-my-ki... Kids are kids and they will play all sorts of games, it's up to us, as adults, to then teach them the reality of what they are doing...from playing doctor (when it gets too much checking out) to playing that they are driving and crashing (hello, we don't want them to drive fast and crash), we need to tell them the difference and the reality of what they are doing. And how reality is much much much different than any Superman or Spiderman movie. Some suggested I take my son, who I do not want shooting guns ever, to a shooting range to see the real effects of them. We may do that (I'm torn..what if he really likes them after that?) Hmmm...

I don't like guns. They freak me out. I was a student at VT (and pregnant) when more than 30 people were killed, and that has added to my fear of guns greatly. Overall, I am against kids having toy guns, especially the ones that look like a real weapon. I'm fine with crazy silly water guns, and I'm OK with kids practicing target skills for hunting purposes (we live in a town where a lot of people hunt and fish). Pretending good guys/bad guys is cool too. You can't prevent a child from imagining a gun (discourage it yes), and chances are what they are imagining is something space aged and shoots neon goo. Anything beyond that to me is very scary.

when i was little i pretended to shoot my mom with a gun made of my thumb and pointer finger and she fell on the ground and pretended to be dead for what seemed like hours. when she didnt get up and after i started freaking out she got up and told me that guns are not jokes and that i was not allowed to play with them because they hurt people and the damage could not be undone. another person i know showed her child a video on CNN of some civil war going on in Africa and showed him the havoc and horrible things going on and showed him how those women men and children were someones mother, father, sister, grandpa, friend etc. He was devestated but totally understood the seriousness of even playing around with guns play or real because of the hurt they have on people. I thought this was a very good way to show her son why guns arent okay.