According to the CDC, cancer is the fourth most common cause of death (after unintentional injury, homicide, and suicide) for people 1- 19 years old. The survival rate of childhood cancer has increased. That's the good news. The bad news is there are still children dying every year from cancer.

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Showing the Latest of 12 Comments

wndl
6 months ago
y'all got some technical issues going on with this one. last night when it first went up, i wanted to comment that you mislabeled heather (she's not dooce), but the comment box wouldn't show up. this morning, the comment box is here, but the advocate video is now attached instead of the loss video.
 
HeadMom
6 months ago
Thanks wndl. Technical issues have been resolved. We apologize for any inconvenience. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this very important issue
 
Ghanimatrix
6 months ago
You guys still have technical issues! Still only playing the child advocacy episode.
 
wndl
6 months ago
all seems to be working (and properly labeled) now. my way of dealing with difficult situations/death with my friends is to 1) tell them i'm sorry, 2) tell them i love them and 3) tell them i'm there. 'there' can take on many meanings, depending on whether we live near each other. for a long-distance friend, who found herself very alone when her father died, i was on a the other end of the phone, a lot. for people near me, i can contribute food, like daphne did. and like heather says, having things done for you is a great help, especially when it's simply done, w/out the person suffering/grieving having to make decisions about it. i've been following hunter's story on daphne's blog and weeping everytime daphne chokes up... it's a tragic situation, as was heather's with her daughter, and my heart goes out to both families, as well as their families and friends. we need to heed heather's words about remembering and SPEAKING about lost children. it's soooo very important.
 
amanda81930
6 months ago
I'm still getting the advocacy video :(
 
SilverXeno
6 months ago
If you're still having issues with the video, clear your cache, empty your recycle bin, and reload the page. On the topic: I know I wouldn't have the words to comfort someone who has lost a child...I do have a dear friend that said once, "Grief is the price you pay for being given then privelage of loving someone." And when I thought about it like that, I felt like I did get this amazing oppurtunity to love someone, and I was glad to pay it back in tears. I have joined the care team on my post...we are not counselors or therapists...we just go and take care of the things that need to be taken care of when there is a loss of life. Like Heather mentioned...friends cleaning bathrooms, running errands, taking care of other children, or the pets! Making sure everything else is running smoothly, so they can grieve, or love, or get angry if they need to...and not worry about making sure there is milk in the fridge.
 
jadobee
6 months ago
In high school, I lost a close friend and I remember her parents responding in two very different ways. Her mother really appreciated people telling her how much her daughter had meant to them and reassuring her that they would always remember her. Her father withdrew from people and wasn't as open to conversation about his child. It was too painful and personal for him to talk about. I think it's important to read a person and be first sure that they're open to receiving comments, even if they're compassionate and sympathetic. Sometimes, it just deepens their pain.
 
AmberStrocel
6 months ago
Thank you for this. Just ... thank you. I appreciate the advice about how best to support someone who has lost a child. I think that these suggestions are excellent for helping anyone through a loss. We could all use some ideas about how to be more supportive and sensitive.
 
Jojo
6 months ago
There is some great advice here. I wish everyone could watch this episode. We live in such a death-denying culture. I have been closely involved with many aspects of this topic because of my own family's tragedy. People drop out of your life because you are depressing and tragedy is not something they want to deal with. Please remember that we will all face gut-wrenching tragedy in our lives at some point unless our own lives are cut short. Be there for someone else even if you don't know them well. There are no magic words and any attempt at "making the person feel better" by explaining away what happened is self-serving. Just be there. Hold their hand. Think of ways to make their life a little easier like bringing over food. If you flake, follow up with them months or years later when everyone else has forgotten. They will not have forgotten. They will greatly appreciate any effort on your part.
 
NJ_2_NorCal_Mom
6 months ago
The only thing I can think of to say to someone who has lost a loved one is that I am sorry. I can't know how they feel. Even when someone loses a parent, as I did about two years ago, I can only say that I know how hard it was for me to lose my Dad, but that I don't really know what they're going through, only that I am so sorry. If a child is lost to a disease, such as cancer, a way you can show your support, even if their grieving parents never know about it, is to take part in fundraisers or other events aimed at finding a cure or otherwise fighting the disease. If you walk or pledge, do it in honor of someone who has had the disease.
 

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