The Warning Signs of Moms Who Drink Too Much

Stephanie I am so proud of you for quitting. I need to quit but just can't seem to do it. How were you able to just stop??

Fri, 2010-03-05 08:09

I go in and out of phases all the time, where I will have 1 or two and some times 3 glasses of wine a night. If it goes on for more than a couple of months I start to worry but I go just as often through months without any interest in alcohol whatsoever.
I think it probably varies from person how much is too much and the most important part is staying grounded and self aware so that you are able to recognize when you're off, whether it's about alcohol, food, boundaries etc... it all falls into that same self destructive place if you close your eyes.

http://www.theladyslounge.com

Sat, 2009-12-12 19:39

I will say this: I drink from time to time, but my days of drinking a lot are long gone. I can actually finish a bottle of wine myself, but I generally don't.

To people who are saying that a drink or two at the end of the day to "wind down" or cope with some stress, I would like to gently suggest they try a different approach. For one or two whole weeks, take the time you would have spent having a drink or two and use it to just vegetate in some other way. Find a way to confront or blow off the stressful situation that does not require alcohol. If you can do that, then go back to interspersing the non-alcohol methods with the once or twice a week drink-treat method.

I am really only comfortable with alcohol as a way to relax and unwind when you're not SUPER stressed out. I guess I worry too much that if we use a chemical to help us calm down or de-stress, it's too easy to come to rely on it. If you're really having that much trouble dealing with the everyday stuff in your life that is stressing you out, you may want to see if you can be prescribed something that can help you cope all the time.

I am okay with drinking socially and keeping it moderate. "Using" alcohol, though, especially when alone, opens doors I am not willing to open. Plus, drinking in the evening before bed can actually mess with the body's ability to sleep efficiently. More often than not, what people need is enough sleep, consistently each night.

Maybe I'm just really laid back and have a fairly stress-free life.

Mon, 2009-09-21 21:38

Al-Anon Family Groups---->Hope for Family & Friends of Alcoholics.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Alcoholism is a disease; it's diagnosable, it's treatable, & it's fatal if left untreated.
http://www.aa.org/

Questions developed by World Health Organization
http://www.aa-uk.org.uk/publications/areyou.htm

It's not about when or how much someone drinks, it's about what happens when the alcohol is taken away. i.e. It's never a problem until one runs out.

Fri, 2009-09-11 12:46

With DUIs on the rise this is a great topic to discuss.

I think if you can sip on a half glass of wine and leave it, then fine. But drinking can be so insidious and I think we are way too casual about it. It is so socially acceptable that people can become blind to when it is really becoming a problem. I for one can't have just one, so I don't drink. Anymore. I certainly admire those who can drink in moderation.

I wonder though, do we really need to drink every night to "relax"? Can we find other ways of handling stress? If you know you just can't make it through the evening without a few glasses of wine, is that self medicating or throwing a band aid on a deeper issue?

But hey, I know, sometimes a drink is just a drink. "A" drink.

Thu, 2009-09-10 08:06

Like so much in life, self awareness and common sense is the key. With alcohol as with many things you know when there is a problem if you are paying attention. If you can handle drinking in a casual social way then go for it. If not then take a step back and if you need to, get help.

Mon, 2009-09-28 07:02

My mom is a recovering alcoholic. I never experienced her when she was drinking as she quit well before I was born but I did know ALL the warning signs at a pretty young age. She taught me all about alcohol addiction so I was always careful when it came to drinking. That being said I live in Germany and like beer- nothing wrong with that. I also (before the pregnancy) went out with my husband once or twice a month and would get drunk. Neither of us has a problem with going without alcohol, and neither of us drinks for stress relief- there are video games and hanging out with the hubby for that:D

I think I have always been pretty self reflective about my drinking and so would immediately quit if I thought it was taking a hold on me in a way I was uncomfortable with. I think being aware of yourself and your drinking is one of the most important parts when it comes to avoiding addiction and being healthy.

It should be mentioned that beer/alcohol plays a different role in German society. You won't see any picnics/festivals/basically any event without beer and the people who are drinking it- well that is pretty much everybody from grandma to mom to the college kids. I would not like to be a recovering alcoholic here, that's for sure!

Thu, 2009-09-10 00:20

Living in the middle of AZ where it is 110 degrees outside by 830 in the morning, a ice cold beer sounds heavenly and grand right about then...

We don't drink a whole lot typically. Its usually 'a treat' as Ms Sinclare was stating; much like you would go to the store and pick up some ice cream to have sundaes some night. It's not like we do it every night, but hey, if we have a hanker for a margarita, we'll go out and get the fixin's, if we don't already have them.

But about that 830 AM beer I am prone to have once in a while, I see no problem whatsoever with that. I drink it much as I would a soda at 830 in the morning. Both are equally as bad in my opinion. The motive behind my having it is not to relax or cope or make it through the day, it's because it sounds good and it's a choice of whatever we have in the fridge at te time-water, ice tea, beer, soda, or whatever. I choose the beer once in a while. No biggy. And I must say that those Bloody Marys on Easter morn while the kids are doing their baskets are great as well.

But these are my opinions regarding the drinking in my household done by myself and my husband. I appreciate the discussion regarding being able to identify if there is a problem or not. I think it's a discussion that should be addressed and presented and I think it could get many parents to recognize a problem if one exists, address it, and become a more competent parent because of it. Thanks for the discussion!

Wed, 2009-09-09 21:16

I have a lot of experience with this topic since both of my parents were alcoholics while I was growing up. My dad would start the evening off with a beer, or two, or three! every single weeknight. This was followed by the weekends where he would get plastered Friday and Saturday nights with his buddies, or alone, and then Sunday it would be the great hangover where everyone in our house walked on eggshells all day.

My mom was a mean drunk, and hid vodka bottles all over the house, which of couse I found easily because really a vodka bottle wrapped in a towel in the bathroom drawer isn't all that hard to find. My parents both drank to excess and frankly it messed my brother and I up royally, but on the bright side my brother has never had a drop of alcohol and never plans to, and I drink only on those very rare special occassions, like New Years when they are spending the night at Grandma's.

I did run into an old friend of mine from highschool and we reconnected. Her kids are my kids ages and we met up for a swim playdate. She showed up clearly drunk. It really bothered me that she could be plastered while watching her two kids attempt to swim in the pool, when clearly she should have been stone cold sober in case something should happen to one of them in the water, the she would be able to react quickly to save them. It made me uncomfortable and I was unsure whehter or not to get together with her again.

We met once more at a park at 10 in the morning and once again she showed up drunk. I cannot continue this friendship because I feel like she is endangering her kids by driving around drunk, and I cannot hang out with someone who clearly has a problem drinking. I mean it was 10 a.m.!! I feel bad because I know she needs help, but until they are ready to see that they have a problem no amount of badgering will stop them from drinking. They have to want to do it on their own. I learned this the hard way from my own parents.

Wed, 2009-09-09 19:03

As an Emergency room nurse I get to see the effects of drinking on a almost daily basis. It used to be the inebriated were mostly men, I've seen that change in the last 10 years to 50/50.

I commend you Stephanie on doing this for yourself, children and spouse.

I am not much of a drinker, I'm lucky to have 1-2 glasses of wine a month.

I did find Heather Armstrong to be very dishonest in this interview though. Heather I've read on your blog where you said you were drinking vats of bourbon on a daily basis when Leta was younger. You made it sound like the only time you did excessive drinking was when you got fired. You and your husband glamourize drinking quite frequently like you're college kids, even with your latest trip to L.A.. You're breast feeding you're not drinking, right?

I think drinking in moderation if fine. Too much of anything is bad, period.

Wed, 2009-09-09 15:14