Private Parts: Do You Have Cutesy Names for Them?

My husband and I were both raised with pretty frank parents, his were medical professionals, mine just roll like that. So in turn we're pretty frank, and what I've noticed is that people will often come to us for advice on those things. We both work with youth and have been able to frankly talk about sex and stuff with the students we work with. The vocabulary you use will dictate your child's attitude toward those subjects. Time and a place, people, maturity is knowing when to call it a va-jay-jay or a vagina or a vulva, for that matter.
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Tue, 2010-03-02 03:51

I'm sure someone already said this; however, if you're going to use proper names, the correct term for the external female genital area is VULVA. To me it totally blows the purpose of being specific, and making kids know that their genitals are "not dirty" (MY reason for using the correct terms,) to use the wrong dang word!

Wed, 2010-02-24 10:17

What are we hoping for with our children? That they will have self-confidence and good self-esteem, right? So, while I prefer the actual anatomical names for parts, which should have no emotional or value judgements attached to them, my parents called my genitals a "cookie." Cutesy, but it did give me a very positive association for a much maligned female part. Cookies smell good, and taste great, especially when still warm. Everybody still with me?

I had sons. My husband feared that our boys would say penis in public, as in "my penis itches." Heaven forbid! I disagreed. He taught them to say "pita." I stuck with my guns on penis. So they learned both names.

Would I have taught a daughter to say vagina? *sigh* probably, but cookie would have been more fun.

Sun, 2010-02-07 16:44

I think "vagina" is a fine general term for the genital area...I realize there are a lot more parts than that...but that is a COMMON use term. Many words have evolved into "common use". And I think it would be just as confusing to get my kid to understand vulva, urethra, inner & out labia, clitoris, clitoral hood, etc, as to get their point across if they had a problem.

In fact, when I went to an urgent care doc after hours b/c I had a bad UTI a few months ago, he asked me, "Where does it hurt?" I guess to just verify that I was having UTI pain versus some other type of gynecological issue. My response, "my urethra". Even a doctor looked at me funny. ...although I wasn't sure what else I should answer. It was a new doc and likely not one I'd have to see again.

Wed, 2010-01-27 11:45

We don't use cutesy names as much as general names. "Private area", "backside" etc., unless we are being specific about a body part. A rectal thermometer is used in the anus but when they fall down, come on! They didn't land THAT specifically. They fell on their backside or as my 3 year old says "Buttocks" (technically a proper term but damn if it isn't cutesy coming out of his mouth).

I find this generalizing more with my daughter. With my sons, their penises and testicles are what they are but there is a lot more going on in a female body. Urine isn't coming out of her vagina and urethra is a pretty tough word for a kid - and truly sounds as stupid to me as some nicknames. My kids know all of the proper names and their function but we occasionally use funny nicknames on a one time basis for comic effect (in the house, not in public. I admit it, I use fart humor to get a laugh from my kids sometimes).

My main goal is to not stutter when I say it. I think that sends more of a message of being embarrassed than just saying whatever you are going to say.

Tue, 2010-01-26 18:08

I HATE silly names for body parts. Hate them. It's almost embarrassing to hear a kid call a penis a weenie (as my second son picked up from his friend. Grrrrr...) or a vagina a hoo-ha or vajayjay or what-have-you. Makes me cringe and I forbid the kids from doing it. There isn't anything to be embarrassed about with the REAL names.

However, a girl has more than one "part" and doesn't pee from her vagina, so I usually give the kids the correct names for all of the girl equipment and generalize that that entire area for both genders is private and can be referred to in public as "private parts." It makes it easier for others to understand what they are talking about without any confusion.

I do believe that it adds a feeling of shame to talk about the genitals if you make them something silly and flip. I really hope that more parents can put a little bit of effort into considering that. I don't want my kids to ever be afraid to discuss a "word" with me. Just today, my daughter began rhyming and ended up saying "bitty, ditty, titty..." I told her that "titty" isn't really a nice word as it is a word to make fun of breasts. She's 4 and she got it.

Mon, 2010-01-25 19:50

I babysit some little kids and when they started asking me if I had a patookiss (thats how it is pronounced...not sure how to spell it) I wasn't really sure what to say. HECK I didnt even know what it was. Yes it was their penis. What the heck. I wish if parents had a name for something they would tell the babysitter so the babysitter wouldnt be so confused. I guess when they asked me to wipe it it became more clear what it was....but still!

Sat, 2010-01-23 12:45

I always said I would not use "nicknames" for body parts. I thought it would just cause confusion down the line. But last night, while giving my daughter a bath, she wanted to wash herself. She would wash her knee and look at me and I would say, "Yea! You washed your knee! Can you wash your arm?" And she would was her arm. Then she washed her vagina and I could not bring myself to say, "Yea! You washed your vagina!" So I caved and said, "Yea! You washed your pee pee!" Ugh. I guess part of me didn't want my father-in-law to hear me say the word (he was out in the living room), but also part of me is uncomfortable with a toddler saying "vagina." Is that weird? I'm more comfortable with her calling it a "pee pee." "Vagina" is too grown up. It's like I picture her sitting around with all her toddler girl friends, drinking martinis and talking about their "vaginas."

I have issues, I know.

I will however not go off the deepend and call it her "flower" or "peach" or "doodle." That's too much. :-)

Fri, 2010-01-22 07:49

I was hurt by the last minute slam of extended breastfeeding. The people editing your episodes should not include off topic single comments without discussion like this.

Fri, 2010-01-22 07:47

Info on the health benefits of extended breastfeeding to mothers on Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastfeeding#Long-term_health_effects

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My daughter knows her vagina/labia as her "private area", mommy's breasts (and her little not-yet-breasts, ha) are "boo-boos", and daddy's penis is his "private area" as well (we're totally open about nudity in this household, at least for now, so all of these things are seen around here regularly). Oh, and we usually say "bum" for bottom because it sounds nicer than "butt" or "bottom" to us.

We're expecting another baby and call breastfeeding "boo-boo feeding", as in "Mommy's going to boo-boo feed the new baby just like I did with you! Isn't that cool?" or whatever. However, my hub and I will sometimes use the anatomical names for all of these areas so our daughter is familiar with them and knows that there's nothing wrong with either the words or the body parts / areas. Hearing a three-year-old lisp "vagina!" is actually pretty awesomely cute if one can avoid feeling disturbed by it.

Now to answer stupid with sane -- saying a mother should wean her child simply because the child can "ask for boobie" is ridiculous. Why try to shame women into weaning their children? Latent regret about one's own breastfeeding choices perhaps, or an overpowering fear-based need to conform and try to force others too as well? That was a ditzy comment that has no place in a forum with the ostensible goal of helping mothers make the best choices for themselves and their children.

Extended breastfeeding has been proved to reduce the risk of heart disease and several common types of cancer, help with managing diabetes, lead to bone re-mineralization, and more, and clearly provides nutritional and immune-system benefits to children. So a woman should renounce all of this just because some silly person on the internet is overwhelmed by the fact that a child has learned the word for the area of the body that provides him/her with food, comfort, security, etc.? Nice.

Anyone who thinks another mother's breastfeeding is her business needs to sit down and ask herself "why do I feel this way". If she's honest, she'll find the answers have nothing to do with other women, and everything to do with her own hang-ups.

Fri, 2010-01-22 05:21

Great topic - LOVED hearing Heather's list! Hilarious!

An interesting one as I think that sometimes the reason 'cute' names/euphemisms are used is because people find the topic embarrassing or offensive.

But how far would you go to ban cute names? Should we stop using "tummy" for stomach or "bum" for anus? (I bet you've never once asked your kid to wipe their 'anus') Or how about language like "kitty" or "doggy"? Kids just respond to 'cute' names in early language development.

I personally have no problem with using 'cute' names as my kids know the words 'vagina' and 'penis' - they just prefer to use the words other kids and mums here use (in our case, 'noonie' and 'willy' -- we live in London, don't ask!)

I think the issue is that we don't have an acceptable, agreed, universal name (like bum). Should we start a campaign? Let's get people to vote on Heather's list! : )

Thu, 2010-01-21 13:31

I say pee pee. I mean he's two. But he's grabbed a my boobs before for whatever reason...and I said like....back up off my boobs. So he knows they're boobs.

And on the boobs topic and just having your kids see you in the buck nude in general...I knew a girl who would have baths with her three year old son. Now... I mean....that's all fine and dandy (though she thought it was gross and awkward to breastfeed...which hey...to each their own). She was also pregnant. And her boobs were getting bigger. And her son said "Mommy, your boobs are getting really big." This is the point where I'm thinking....ummm maybe he's a bit too old to be in the tub with you...you know....cause he can tell your boobs are changing. Just sayin'.

Anyway, I haven't really thought much about names of private parts. But I have said before (like when he tries to come in when I shower) that I need personal time. Or that those are personal parts. But I for sure want my kids to know the proper terms. for reasons that Lou below says. So if there ever was a problem they'd be able to speak it clearly and know the names of their parts.

Wed, 2010-01-20 15:24