I seem to be with Karen on this one. I don't live in a circle that distinguishes strongly between "us" and "them". I am not sure what it would be like to not let my kid interact with any strangers. I guess we would just be really rude at the playground. (On a side note, is this why some women don't react when you say, "Hello!" to them at the playground?) I don't force her to be nice to strangers. We interact briefly and she is off running. I don't see a problem. I can't imagine having her (17 months) yell, "Stop!" to anyone who stops and says anything to her when we are out and about. I really don't see the value in that kind of behavior.

I think this is a really interesting topic. My daughter is 3 and she says hi to everyone she sees, from the old man at the store to the goth kids hanging in the park. And very few people say hi back to her, which bugs me. I'd rather she be polite for the brief interactions she has. There is a difference between being polite and being a doormat. She has the right to say "I don't like this", but she shouldn't say it before they've even said 2 words to her. I think there is a fine line between being too protective of strangers and being too permissive. Someday my children will have to know how to interact with people they don't know. I don't think that having them tell someone to "stop" as soon as someone starts talking is the right way. We need to give the tools to assess the situation, not avoid it all together.

My daughter walked into my office and caught the last few seconds of this Momversation and said, "That was odd. I like that girl with the fist. Yeah!" That pretty much sums it up for me. @BeingSuper

I was a little confused by this question. I never really thought NOT to let my daughter respond to strangers. Granted she's only 18 mos, but I think I would actually encourage her to reply to someone if they were addressing her (which doesn't seem will be an issue at this point). Don't get me wrong, I will ALSO discuss with her what is an inappropriate interraction and to tell Mommy or Daddy is something like that happens. I have to say... this one really got me thinking...

Mookeimom - I was a bit confused too ... glad I wasn't the only one. For me, this is really 2 questions/issues ... Do we let our child talk to strangers (period)? Our son is extremely friendly and when he was younger (he is now almost 6) he would talk to anyone and everyone if we allowed it. Back then we would nip it in the bud and move on ... very politely. As he got a little older we began discussing what a 'stranger' is with him and delicately introduced the idea of personal safety/comfort/control/etc. So now that he is older, he gets it. If the checker at Target asks him an appropriate question, he is friendly and gives an appropriate answer. Truthfully, my husband and I behave the same way ... neither of us are the type to strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone we come in contact with, we're much more reserved. Second issue ... as for "back talk" ... like strong talk that some might consider rude ... He isn't allowed to talk rude to anyone unprovoked ... BUT ... if anyone (another kid or an adult) were to make an inappropriate comment to him, say something mean, or make him uncomfortable in any way, we would definitely support him making a strong statement back to them. Parenting is so complicated!!!!!!!!!!!! There just aren't many absolutes, IMO.

I have a very friendly child. She is very social and loves everybody, so I worry about her when she gets older. She's two now, so I don't let her go further than an arms length when we're in an environment that is strange to her. I think there is a big difference between teaching your child to be assertive and to talk back. If you child talk backs with an attitude it may provoke the stranger if they have bad intentions. However, if you teach your child to be confident and assertive the stranger will see that they should back off. However, Dana, I will say that if anyone messes with my child, they will have to talk to Mamma and her fist.

I'm with Karen on this one too. HELL NO is the answer! I am from a small town in West Texas, where everyone knows everybody else, and for some reason this makes me talk to 'strangers' all the time. As an adult. Honestly, saying out loud something that EVERYONE else is thinking about something that is going on around you, usually gets a laugh and/or a head nod. I live in Dallas now, and obviously don't know everyone around me, but even when I lived in New York, a random observation to a complete stranger on the platform waiting for the subway about the irate woman who just charged through screaming at her companion was never seen as 'strange.' I also address kids I don't know when I am at the store/park/Target/etc. Not randomly, but, for instance, if a kid in the line in front of me at Target is staring and/or smiling, I smile back and engage them in conversation. I'm not scary looking, and most of the time the adult they are with encourage the interaction. This must be a factor of my geographic location, I think, as Karen lives in Houston and I know it's the same thing there. Yes, there are some crazy people out there, but for the most part, I think people are just trying to be friendly and nice, and we should all cut each other some slack. I don't know, Texas is a very friendly place. It is considered rude here to ignore people that address you. At this point, my son is too shy to actually say anything back to an adult that addresses him, whether he knows them or not, and I usually have to prompt him to respond with 'thank you.' So talking back is not an issue. I guess I'm more addressing the 'talking to strangers' thing. Which I fully intend to address when my child gets older and is no longer in my immediate care and around other adults by himself. But my 2.5 year old toddler is not EVER to talk back to an adult, OR child for that matter, in a rude and aggressive manner. That is just not acceptable in my book.

I don't 'have' my son 'yell' at 'anyone' who tries to interact with him. He SAYS stop when strangers approach him and try to talk to him and this is something that he has started doing on his own which I allow. Both my kids are like that and even though I haven't asked them to do this, I approve of it. I see a lot of value in young children being able to say NO and STOP when they don't feel comfortable in a situation. It's the first step in teaching them to be safe. All I'm saying is that I don't force them to speak to strangers when they don't want to. There are other ways to teach them to be polite.

I don't 'have' my son 'yell' at 'anyone' who tries to interact with him. He SAYS stop when strangers approach him and try to talk to him and this is something that he has started doing on his own which I allow. Both my kids are like that and even though I haven't asked them to do this, I approve of it. I see a lot of value in young children being able to say NO and STOP when they don't feel comfortable in a situation. It's the first step in teaching them to be safe. All I'm saying is that I don't force them to speak to strangers when they don't want to. There are other ways to teach them to be polite.