What Bugs You About Your Spouse?

This is great - love the topic.
For me, it is him leaving stuff EVERYwhere! And I am the complete opposite in that I am SUPER organized and obsessed with everything in it's place at all times (I'm kind of OCD, but not clinically).

But yeah, he will take off clothes and just throw them on the floor in a pile, and I have to put things away. Annoying!

Also, the smoking! Yes, I knew he did it since the day we started seeing each other, but it drives me NUTS now. I never "got used to it," and although he doesn't do it often around me, it makes me crazy the few times he does. I have never smoked and I hate everything about it. He stinks!

Another thing...his obsession with all things car-related and on wheels. He will buy a million different parts for his "fixer-upper" car and then they just sit in the garage for YEARS without being put on the car!!!! Ugh!!!! Money down the drain, in my opinion. Granted, he does find things only on sale or really good deals, but still...

Fri, 2009-09-04 07:51

oh no. How about what do you LOVE about your spouse? This totally takes me back to when I was 18 and married. All my girlfriends bitching about their spouse non stop and sooner or later, I joined in. I'd think of horrible things I could say to join in the conversation and after a while, I realized how damaging it was to sit and complain about your spouse.

We divorced very shortly after we got married and now I have been with Eric for four years and I absolutely refuse to talk bad about him.

Sat, 2009-05-02 14:01

This is minor, but it gets me everytime. When we go to the movies, he swirls the popcorn around in the bag noisily with every handful. It's so bizarre, and so LOUD! Sometimes I look at him and say, 'Really? Are you serious with that?" and he acts completely clueless as to how loud he's being. Maybe he's secretly waiting for my reaction.

Fri, 2009-04-24 10:43

One of the biggest things that my hubby does is that when he is brushing his teeth he pushes the tooth brush sooo far into the back of his throat that he gags, yes I said he gags himself. This is what I have to wake up to, the sounds of gagging. Fun!

Mon, 2009-04-20 05:13

What doesn't? Oh my god. Eating with his mouth open, food noises smacking in surround sound. Huffing & puffing while dressing to get ready for work. Whistling without noise just a "shhhhhssshhshshsh" sound coming out, the 30 minutes he sits in the bathroom reading the paper while the kids go bereft on the house, leaving shaving residue in the sink, his job is to empty & load the dishwasher - but he never does it. That he isn't handy AT ALL. That he still asks me everytime he has to use the microwave "how long does this need?" That he can't go to the shop with a list & come back with everything on it, that he calls me from the shops everytime he goes to ask "which isle is this in?". That he can't cook - not even 1 kind of meal, that he doesn't know how to use the video camera, that he doesn't know how to use the washing machine. That he zones out watching TV then wonders what all the crying is about because one of the girls has hurt themselves when he is supposed to be watching them, not the television. That he's never bought my children a birthday or christmas present EVER. That his argument is that he came from a Latin family where his mother did everything for him & that it was traditionally the way he expected his marriage to be. My answer to that:

Number 1 - I'm not your mother
Number 2 - this isn't a traditionally Latin family
& Number 3 - You're not my child, you're the father of my children & if you don't know at 4 & 3 what isle the kids health food is in, then you're not doing your job as a dad.

It's no wonder I'm going out of my mind.

One Christmas, when my daughter was 2 I was out the back putting together the cubbyhouse with my dad. He was inside watching some naff Xmas movie he'd seen abou a thousand times. When I went inside he looked up at me from the TV & said "oh you gotta see this bit, its so funny!" and I was like "are you going to have any involvement in your childs excitement or are you going to just lie there & watch this you've seen a thousand times?" He was like "oh you do it, you're better at that stuff than me anyway." He complains he misses so much, but then he does this? WTF? He has no interest whatsoever.

Any suggestions?

Sun, 2009-04-19 21:11

Don't hate me for saying this, but NOTHING. Honestly, nothing bugs me about my husband. Actually, what I love is that he is NOT perfect. Thank goodness. It keeps him interesting. And it makes me feel better because I'm not perfect either.

Sure, he thinks there's an invisible hamper at the end of our bed (there isn't.) and he has to run the TV remote, but at the end of the day, does that matter? He works so hard. That lets me be home with the kids, building my entrepreneurial dream and enjoying days built the way I want. He is an awesome sou chef on our Friday night at-home dates. He is funny. He is an incredible parent. He is good to my family. He tries so hard to be helpful in the yard and house, even though he hates it and it isn't his natural strength. He stays home with the kids on Saturday mornings so I can go for long runs with my girlfriends. He is smart and a great conversationalist. He is great in the sack.

Mostly, he loves me. I'm sure a lot of things bug him about me...but we took vows to be imperfect and annoying together. Ain't love grand?

Thu, 2009-04-16 12:05

Seriously?

I usually love the episodes, I like hearing from the unique voices of your panelists, but this is just inane. Is there really nothing better to talk about than "what bugs you about your spouse?"

Yes, after 10 years of marriage I have gripes too, but I find it disappointing that out of all the dynamic and interesting topics, this is what was produced.

Thu, 2009-04-16 01:11

Boy, did this come at the right time--I'm going through a fed-up phase right now. My top three:

1. He refuses to take any part in maintaining order and cleanliness in our home, UNTIL 2-3 hours before someone is supposed to come over, at which point he runs around trying to deep-clean to Martha Stewart perfection, all while muttering about my "low standards" and "refusal to participate in housework." He balks when, after the guests have left, I suggest that more of an effort to pick up after ourselves on a daily basis would make the cleaning sprints go more smoothly.

2. Our closets are filled to bursting with stuff he can't bear to get rid of (unplayed musical instruments, paperwork from three jobs ago, clothes he hasn't worn since his 20s) but he only complains about the small section that's filled with my stuff, 80-90% of which I actively use.

3. He talks to himself all the time; it's a constant running monologue and it wears me out. Is he talking to me? No. Is he talking to me now? No. I usually tune him out, but inevitably he'll drop one sentence that's directed at me into the torrent of words, then get angry at me for not responding.

Most of the time I try to remind myself that he's probably got a similar list of annoying things I do, and I usually can let these things float by. But when the rest of our life gets rough (like now) the little things are suddenly the most annoying.

Wed, 2009-04-15 11:58

My husband cleans OBSESSIVELY. To the point where I cannot leave an empty glass on the table for two seconds without him getting up and running it to the kitchen sink. I can't even do the laundry in our house because I don't fold the shirts right. And if I leave them for him to fold, they wrinkle. Though, I guess those habits don't really bother me that much.

The one really irritating thing, and I can't explain why it irks me so much, is that he constantly rearranges things. From the linen closet to the medicine cabinet to the refrigerator. NOTHING is ever where I put it. It drives me absolutely insane.

Besides that, it's little things. Like spacing out while I'm talking. He's actually learned to recite the last fragment of whatever I'm saying so that it looks like he's been paying attention.

Oh, I love that man.

Wed, 2009-04-15 09:43