Why Do We Talk About Our Kids So Much?

Lomwefgbnbv

Thu, 2010-03-04 10:38

So many people talk about boring things. Trivial, stupid, things. I used to go to work to pick up my freelance stuff and would try hard not to mention my baby to my childless co-workers lest I bore them or make their eye sroll with my mommy obsessiveness. Then I'd listen to them drone on about things like shopping, the last friends episode and I'd wonder why I had a complex. I think a lot of it is just prejudice toward kids, mothers and general child-rearing. If they're talking world politics at a party and I start yammering about strollers, ok. But I don't see why I shouldn't talk about them. It's all encompassing and exhausting and pretty much rules my life and my mental state.

Fri, 2009-04-17 18:06

I am with Sevedra on the fact that if I have to listen to you drone on about your freaking DOG or boring JOB then you can listen to me while I talk about my HUMAN CHILDREN. You know, the next generation? The people who will be in charge in the next 20-30 years? Yeah. Them.

Being interested in pop culture, politics, money, etc. is the FILLER stuff for me. The important things in my life are my FAMILY. My children, husband, friends, parents, siblings, nieces and nephew. How we are all feeling and whether we are happy and healthy. THAT is the really good stuff of life.

Trying to find things to talk about other than your children will come. Your kids are little for a short, SHORT time. Phhhfffttt! It's gone. You no longer have to worry about talking about them too much, because they are suddenly in high school or college and no longer provide you with amusing stories to babble on about. Enjoy it while they're little. Revel in this amazing thing you are doing which is RAISING YOUR CHILDREN.

And actually, Rebecca, you'd be surprised at how many people DO want to hear about your children's latest accomplishments or issues. It IS interesting to many people. We are our kids' only champions. If Mom and Dad don't think you're pretty awesome and are willing to tell the world about you, then who will?

Wed, 2009-04-15 06:14

I had my first kiddo as an accident very early in my marriage. Last year of college with a planned career. However, I had goals and dreams for when I had kids as well, and so I followed those. I have NEVER regretted it but I do insist on not being "Mommy" all the time.

When I am out with the girls and there are no kids or on a date with the hubs, I strongly dislike baby chatter. Most of my friends are moms but that doesn't mean there isn't more to us. And that is what it all comes down to for me: There is more to me than being a mommy.

But seriously, if you ask I will tell. And tell. And tell. Because I think my kids are THAT amazing!

Tue, 2009-04-14 13:23

I have two groups of girlfriends -- one group all have school-age children and the other group all have toddlers, babies or are currently pregnant. The kid talk is MUCH more prevalent in the latter group, I'm sure because those years of child development are pretty all-encompassing. But overall I would say we're pretty good about balancing our conversations because we have other common denominators that we love chatting about: books and current events and work issues and weight loss and personal triumphs/struggles and OMG, Adam Lambert is SO the next American Idol... you get my drift.

But my sister is a whole other ball 'o wax.

I LOVE my sister, but ever since she became a mom (her daughter is almost 6, her son almost 2) she is unable to talk about anything other than her kids, to the point where I don't have a desire to interact with her very often. In fact, she doesn't talk WITH me... she talks AT me, NON-STOP, about all the amazing happenings in her kids' lives. She's like a maternal assault rifle, launching a rapid-fire attack of first words and funny faces and other adorable anectodes... and I have to tell ya, it's EXHAUSTING.

When we do finally decide to get together for lunch or something the kiddos are always in tow, and it turns into the Niece & Nephew Talent Show, where they are compelled by their mother to tell Auntie all the all the cute words they've learned, and sing all the cute songs they know, etc. etc. ETC. Not only do I feel this is inconsiderate of me and our time together, but I also feel like it's demoralizing for my niece and nephew. I mean, why doesn't she just give them each a little hat and a pair of cymbals while she's at it? BTW, she never asks about me or my family during these get-togethers... I mean why would she? With her children gloriously on display, what else is there to talk about?

As the mother of one pre-teen son, I am WAY beyond the baby/toddler phase... and I have filed those years in the same folder as my junior high school years: I wouldn't trade them for anything, but you couldn't pay me enough to repeat them. She and I are at different phases of child-rearing and, as a result, I admit that I have a hard time relating to her life... if I'm being honest, I have a hard time relating to the idea that this is all her life is about. Is it asking too much for her to pull herself out of her self-absorbed SuperMomminess and relate to me once in a while?

Mon, 2009-04-13 14:52

This is a tough one but I think for me at least...ultimately it depends on who I am talking to. I have a couple of friends that our friendship's with one another is based on our lives as women and as adults. I also have some friends that MOST of what they talk about is their kids and therefore I do as well. And then I have friends that are Moms that if we DIDN'T talk about kids the conversation goes instantly AWKWARD and DEAD and there's this loooong uncomfortable, "please someone let a loud burp rip or something to end this silence" pause and that's not ideal either. However, I'm in a situation now that the circle of friends I am around (I live in an deep isolated community in northern canada) none of them have kids. And I find them hard to get to know (we've all met just recently) and I then tend to, during those random silences, tell a story about my son. So I guess it can be a good thing...he acts as a good filler. But I often have that same thought of "oh man, I'm talking about the kid again!"

Mon, 2009-04-13 10:16

Well, before I had a child, I did notice that parents would talk a lot about their kids. But that didn't bug me, I kind of understood, they're a big part of who you are. What I *hated* was when they'd try to make me feel inferior, immature or shallow just because I wasn't yet a mother. Like, "oh, you'll understand when you have kids", as if I could not possibly fathom how special and complicated their life was. And I believed that, but now I'm like, it's not that tough to comprehend, and I retroactively hate all the women who made me feel that way. Basically: talk about your kid all day, but don't talk down to me.

I try really hard not to go on and on about my son, unless I'm at some parenting-specific function like a story hour or mom's group. I know that my single friends don't want to hear about my son's bowel movements or teething patterns or how close he is to walking, etc. They don't care. Except a lot of them do this thing that makes me want to blow my lid. They will ask me something about him, like..."oh, he has teeth. How long has he had them?" Or, "Is he a good sleeper?" And, I will answer the question, but after about 20 seconds they're scanning the room, looking at their watch, faking a smile...they're bored. And I want to shout at them IF YOU DIDN'T REALLY CARE WHY DID YOU ASK?!

And I'm with Alice that there are just some boring people out there and the subject matter is irrelevant. A lot of my husband's coworkers will drone on about World of Warcraft and I'm like zzzzzzzzzz. It's their whole life. And if someone's whole life is their kids, they probably don't have a whole lot else to say.

Mon, 2009-04-13 08:54