My 3 year-old daughter loves going to the dentist. I completely agree with Heather, you should go with a dentist that works only with children. The chair is smaller and less intimidating which makes them feel safer. My daughter's dentist plays a Dora video for her when cleaning her teeth (she just had her first cleaning about a month ago). Also, knowing that she is getting "presents and surprises" afterwards makes her very cooperative.

sarah, here's a happy story: my 9 yr old not only has no problem going to the dentist, she gets mad that she only goes twice a year instead of thrice, like i do! she started at 3 and the first visit was just to count teeth and then polish them; no scraping at all. the hygenist ran the polisher on zel's fingertip first, so that she could feel that it was harmless. we don't go to a pediatric dentist (she uses our regular family dentist), but everyone there is a parent, so that helps. i think because i have no dental phobia, i was able to be truly very matter of fact about the visit and not create any reason for her to be nervous about it. she thought it was a great adventure with a (bonus!!) toy from the treasure box at the end. she feels the same way about going to the eye doctor. maybe i just have a weird kid. we shall see with my second daughter (only a month old) if my technique was the key or if it really is just a personality thing with older daughter.

My daughter does not mind going to the dentist or the Dr at all. From a very early age, even before she could truely understand what I was saying, I told her what was going to happen and what was going on. I was honest! I never bribed her, instead I told her about the things that the dentist and Dr would give to her for being good. Stickers, Lollipops, toothbrushes.... that excites her. I think that the dentist and Dr giving her prizes makes her like them dispite the pain she may feel. I let her know from the second an appointment is made. We talk about it in a positive light until the day of the appointment. On the way to the appt I let her know that it is ok to feel scared or unsure but that I would be there with her and then I remind her of the "prizes" that she would be receiving for a job well done. I never sugar coat it... never! I tell her if she is getting shots and how it may feel. We practice giving each other shots with an imaginary needle and then we each get a sticker! We practice going to the dentist... I think one of the BEST things you can do is bring the child to the dentist before an appt for a visit. Meet the dentist, check out the room, try out the chair, explain the tools, then give the child a sticker or provide a prize for the dentist to give to your child. I know that we dont have a ton of free time to do things like this but it is WORTH IT! Your dentist will appreciate it and you will be SO GLAD that you did it! We do not use a pediatric dentist, we use the family dentist. We know him well and he knows us well and I feel comfortable around him. Me being comfotable makes my daughter more comfortable. You know that they feed off of your emotions and feelings so make sure that you like the Dr!

My dad is a dentist in Vancouver, WA so clearly my own experience was quite different than most people growing up. Folks would ask me, "Isn't it weird that your dad was your dentist?" And I would say, "Isn't it weird that your dad wasn't your dentist?" All about perspective I guess. Anyway having grown up in/around all things dental, I personally don't have any fears about procedures and equipment per se but the dentist them self--their skill and chair-side manner--make all the difference in my opinion. Because I moved away from home after college and had to have someone besides my dad be my dentist, I was very picky about who I ultimately chose. Unfortunately I had to experience a few dentists before finding the right one. But I digress. I asked my dad what they do in the office when children come for the first time and what he would want parents to know prior to coming to see him. This is what he said: + Prior to coming, adults should have an understanding about homecare (brushing/flossing) and have tried to communicate to the child about why it's important. + Try to see the dentist by age 1-- but not all general practitioners will do that. Pediatric types do. + Parents should attempt early homecare by laying child in their laps then look into the mouth and use cotton balls to wipe gum ridge. Each parent might perform this so child isn't only keyed to one parent doing this. + Most importantly, parents must be aware of body language and things they say that might cause child to be afraid or nervous when visiting the dentist. I hope this helps!

I found children's books told from the perspective of my kids favorite characters (Dora) to prepare my oldest child for what would happen in that first visit. And while it worked in terms of letting her know what to expect, it didn't stop the crying from coming while she was in the chair. What ultimately helped was repetition of the visits...and allowing my kids to join me when I visited my DDS. Each successive visit was a vast improvement over the last. Best of luck.

Make the first office visit - and maybe even some subsequent ones - a special occasion. My son was born with a rare heart defect, so he can't have anesthesia of any kind. Therefore, filling a cavity or basically most other potentially painful procedures would be a real problem for him. So, he goes to the dentist every 3 months, even though he's only 2, to try to prevent tooth decay. I knew he'd be going often, so I wanted to make the whole thing a positive experience. One strategy has worked: Make it a milestone event by taking pictures. I recently noticed in my own childhood album that there wre pictures of my doctor and dentist, of whom I was never afraid as a kid. I tried it for my son and we had a terrific time. He shook the dentist's hand, smiled, and said with his 2-year-old charm "Say cheese!" and they posed for the photo. The dentist was also happy to oblige. We put both the dentist and doctor's photos on construction paper to make my son his own album, along with other people he knows like grandparents, family friends and the nanny so that he can turn the pages and name the people. It's just normal for him now, not scary at all. We take new photos at every visit and it's really helped.

I don't have kids (still a huge fan of Heather Armstrong, though!) but I work in a dentist's office. She's a general dentist, not a pediatric dentist, but we see lots of kids because she has a well-deserved reputation of being very good with them. Make sure you tell your kids the truth, even if you're afraid of the dentist yourself. Don't use the dentist as a threat- I've heard parents tell their kids, "if you don't brush your teeth, the dentist is going to have to give you a big shot and drill out your cavities!" And when the kids get to us, just for a cleaning (where there's no shots or drilling), they're literally shaking like a leaf in the chair, because that's what they associate with the dentist- shots and drilling. Most kids can go to most general dentists, but just be aware of something. Many general dentist's offices are not set up for parents to be in the room during the cleaning. Please be understanding and don't take it personally if we ask you to sit in the waiting room while your child is in back. We put a lot of effort into making kids comfortable, never pushing them if they're not ready for a polishing or x-rays. We also work hard to build a relationship of trust between both you and your child. Sometimes a parent in the room is a distraction and creates an "audience", and we need your child to be focused on what the hygienist or dentist is asking them to do to get through the appointment as quickly and stress-free as possible. If you don't think that's something you can be okay with, then it may be a good idea to go to a pediatric dentist.

Take your kid early and they won't be afraid. My daughter went for the first time shortly after she turned one. Yes, she cried...but not as much as I thought she would. Six months later she didn't cry at all. No waterworks. Not a drop. And the visits since then have a been just as easy. TE

Find a dentist that specializes in working on kids. I went to my pediatric denitst until I was 19 and they actually had to tell me that I needed to find a new dentist..THATS how much I loved him. Now? Now Im 25 and I havent been to the dentist in 3 years...THATS how much I miss my old dentist and want to go back to him. I totally need to schedule an appointment dont I? Ugh...

am intrigued by the discussion of bribes -- doesnt' your dentist do something special? I mean, I went to a regular family dentist, and he had a special treasure chest of goodies for little kids after their checkup, from stickers to little holograms (or whatever those ridgy precursers were) to sugarfree candy, that you could pick from. I think if the appointment was tough, you maybe got 2, but I never really had anything but cleaning. still, that treasure chest still has a certain allure as I remember it!