Dumbest advice you've ever received

What's the dumbest or rudest advice you've ever received about parenting?

32 Comments

I think a lot of people think my kids might be "missing out" because I don't feed them meat...
I had one lady tell me that my daughter was going to be extremely sick and probably die because she doesn't drink milk. I was pretty enraged when she said that, I actually told her she was an idiot because we're the only species that feels the need to drink another species' breast milk. Anyway, she didn't have much to say over that so I left (we were in the grocery store).

Nathalie

Sat, 2008-12-06 14:55

Mindy

"Don't let your kids sit in the hot tub! it softens their bones!"

Righto.

Mon, 2008-12-08 09:54

mom2stinkbumps

My 10 year old son has a number of health concerns, including ADHD, asthma, and most seriously - fatal food allergies. My father, who is 74, thinks any health concern (except his own, of course) is hogwash and merely a bid for attention. The following are his thoughts on the above-listed health concerns:

ADHD - "There's nothing wrong with him that a beating with a belt won't cure."

Asthma - "He's just being a sissy. Bet if you made him run laps, he'd stop complaining he can't breathe."

Fatal food allergies - "He's not allergic, he just doesn't like them. Make him eat them at every meal and he'll quit being so picky about his food."

Yes, folks, my father IS an idiot.

Wed, 2008-12-10 13:56

graceling

My former MIL told me that breastfeeding my child would make her sickly.

Before my daughter was born, a lady from church told me that naming my daughter "Abigail" would cause her to be a sassy brat (where did that come from?)

During the early stages of bonding with my newly-adopted daughter, a kind lady at the doctor's office told me I should just ignore my daughter when she cries so that she won't be a cry-baby.

Fri, 2008-12-19 21:03

grumpymom

A lactation consultant said "EVERYONE CAN BREASTFEED!" When I was a first time mom I believed her and it caused me so much guilt, stress, and sadness for feeling like such a failure! Not every mom is able to breast feed and thankfully with my second child I met a lactation consultant that confirmed that! So to all those struggling with breastfeeding, you need to do what is best for you and your baby. If breastfeeding isn’t’ working, I promise your baby will be just as healthy on formula, especially if they have a happy mom!

Sun, 2008-12-21 19:22

Samsaramom

AMEN. Long story, but after c-section, and serious bacterial infection after, the lactation nurse was surprised I was only able to express less than 1 ml after a solid week of nonstop nursing. Owen lost 1 lb. Bottlefeeding saved both of us, I am sure ;)

Fri, 2009-01-09 15:42

kimchi mama

My mom told me that if I ate spicy food while breast feeding, my baby's asshole would be red.

Mon, 2009-01-05 00:14

Samsaramom

Is that a Korean folksaying? Not only is kimchi delicious...its spicy... very funny!

Fri, 2009-01-09 15:43

Pat

Dumbest advice I ever received :" Shaved the baby's head because she has newborn dandruff" her doctor actually said that.. and yes no shaving and she does not have one flake on her head.

Mon, 2009-01-05 08:40

Cynthia

Some dummy to me at 15:

"You'd better enjoy your highschool years. They are the best time of your life."

http://blackswanpapers.blogspot.com/

Fri, 2009-01-09 13:35

Momartfully

Had a single man with NO kids tell me (after my emergency C-section delivery and while I was holding my NICU graduate baby) that 'womens bodies were made for birthing babies'.

Second place worst advice ever: saying to anyone who's experienced a pregnancy loss that "It just wasn't meant to be and you can always try again".

Tue, 2009-01-27 12:57

badmummy

After my daughter was born almost four months prematurely my MIL said pretty much what Momartfully was told "What will be will be".

My favorite almost always comes after people ask why Erin's so small and I explain, premmie, sensory issues, oral defensiveness etc "You should try [insert food]" or even more obviously "Have you tried playing aeroplanes with the spoon?" NO! I haven't! My daughter was being tube fed because I didn't think to try aeroplanes with her!

Then there's my mum who seems to think I'm too stupid to know not to leave Erin in the bath tub unattended. Who keeps insisting that I should make Erin eat eggs for the protein even though she already gets an adult serve of protein powder each day to assist with her growth.

http://www.bad-mummy.com
http://www.brisbanepremmies.com

Tue, 2009-01-27 13:24

savvybabygrace

While pregnant with #1, my MIL tried to convince me that I had to toughen up my nipples by taking a rough loofa in the shower and scrubbing them - all so I could breastfeed successfully without pain. LMAO! 2 kids later and 30 months of nursing and I think my nipples did just FINE without the uneccessary scrubbing, haha.

Tue, 2009-01-27 14:30

MrsLucky

My in-laws think that if a child is choking they should "raise their arms in the air".

I asked one day, what do you really think that will accomplish.

Their response was it gives the lungs more room to expand and breath.

If that were true, it would only increase the risk of the child aspirating whatever was lodged in their throat.

But, what do I know?

Mon, 2009-02-02 23:00

badmummy

Oh lord I hope your kids don't choke while visiting them! They'll be able to breathe really well while they're turning purple :|

Tue, 2009-02-03 00:58

leeshka

Are your in-laws Hispanic by any chance? Mine think the same thing (the entire FAMILY), and... I've just never heard of such a thing!

Tue, 2009-02-03 12:17

kallistix

http://www.essortment.com/lifestyle/savesomeonecho_ttzj.htm

"If you see someone doing this and you suspect that they are choking, ask the person “Are you choking?” “Can you speak?” If the person can speak and cough forcefully, their airway is partially obstructed. Encourage the person to keep coughing and call emergency medical services. Do not hit the person on the back or ask them to raise their arms; these steps can make the situation worse."

Mon, 2009-05-18 09:09

bwankel

While I was pregnant, an old lady told me to stop rubbing my belly or I'd turn him upside down and he'd be breech. I've also been told formula is better than breastmilk, and homemade baby food has less vitamins. And I asked a friend if it was normal to pump my breast for 20 minutes and only get one ounce and she said, "If you're only getting one ounce, then that's all he's eating". Sure.

Tue, 2009-02-03 12:26

bwankel

MrsLucky that's kind of funny, I remember my mom telling us to put our hands up if we were choking. But you're right, it's quite illogical.

Tue, 2009-02-03 12:26

growingupartists

I recently heard an almost due mom talk about getting her nipples ready for breastfeeding, with the loofah technique savvybabygrace mentioned. Sadly, I didn't correct her.

Tue, 2009-02-03 13:00

badmummy

My mum suggested a tooth brush.

Tue, 2009-02-03 16:45

growingupartists

Oooh.

Tue, 2009-02-03 19:10

mrslcjones

Yeah, I got the same adivce for toughening my nipples and did it...after I met with my LC, she recommended nipple shields for my ridiculously red and sore nipples.. now I know what NOT to do for my second baby..

Tue, 2009-02-03 21:34

lemans venere

One of the most galling things I've ever heard:

My best friend was in the hospital recovering from her very taxing - okay, hideous - delivery (loooong labor, eventual C-section), and her not-even-24-hour-old baby was crying. A lot. Unable to pick up her son, she paged the night nurse. Who told her, once she got to the room, to ignore the child - her exact words were: "He's trying to manipulate you by crying so much."

She was a rent-a-nurse, actually. Filling in for someone who, unlike her, actually demonstrated the existence of cerebral activity, not to mention common sense.

Fri, 2009-02-06 13:21

badmummy

Oh oh oh! I don't even know what to say to that?!

Fri, 2009-02-06 13:59

growingupartists

Yowch! I wonder how many people that advice actually stuck to.

Fri, 2009-02-06 17:25

Lovemamma

Well everyone knew not to give me advice because well I don't listen to them. But my somewhat ex-SIL was pregnant her mother told her she couldn't take a bath because it would hurt the unborn baby. I mean come on I took a nice long bath almost everynight because it felt great.

Fri, 2009-02-06 15:32

Loqi

That one's real.

Raising your internal temperature can have detrimental effects on fetal development. But sometimes, your sanity comes first. Just not too hot too long and too often, and it'll be fine.

Thu, 2009-05-07 10:40

growingupartists

I'm still freaked out about how hot you can take a bath with a growing baby in your belly. I'd hate to hear an actual number because sometimes, hot baths are all you've got!

Fri, 2009-02-06 17:24

teshua

My FIL told us to have an abortion after we told him I was prregnant with grandchild #1.

Our son's 17 now, working on his Eagle scout badge. Glad we didn't listen to him.

Sun, 2009-05-17 03:00

BadMom

When my daughter was about a year old, I was letting her eat french fries at Burger King.. A 300 lb. woman sitting across from us goes, "You know those fries will make him fat." (Yes, she called my daughter a "him")

I turned to her and said, "It's too bad no one ever told you that!"

Oh, and when my daughter was about 3 months old, I was carrying her through a parking lot of a shopping mall in south Georgia in mid-August... It was no cooler than 100 degrees outside, and a lady stopped me to ask why my daughter didn't have any socks on. Umm, I left them in the car.. along with her winter coat and ski mask. Dumbass old lady.

Mon, 2009-06-08 14:03

Tamra

"It's okay that your daughter says 'poop' and 'pee' now, but when she gets older, it's *very* important that you teach her to say she needs to 'make a bowel movement' and 'urinate' instead."

Yes, true advice from my father-in-law. DH and I have had more than one laugh over that one and have seriously considered teaching our kids to use the term 'take a dump' in front of their grandfather.

But really, I'd just prefer that my kids say they need to use the bathroom without announcing which elimination is necessary.

Mon, 2009-06-08 16:25