How involved should you be in your children's friendships?

Wow, really surprised there are no replies to this yet.

Being a mom of a 13yr old, I am very involved in my daughter's friendships.
This day n age, the world has made it darn near impossible to trust anymore, so I don't take the chance. I try to know all I can about the kids, their parents, the phone numbers, who they hang out with, where they hang out, who's on myspace, what are they chatting about, etc.

I counter all the nosey mom bits with a healthy dose of fun-lovies. Because, let's face it, if you're not a fun mom, you're out. And if you're not a fun mom and combine that with being nosey, phew - you are setting yourself up for a druggie-runaway-preggers.

My daughter knows that it is in HER best interest to let me have access to her room, her backpack, her friends, her myspace (yes, spank me, she has a m/s). I let my daughter see news about runaway kids, pregnant teens, drugged out homeless kids, kidnappers, pedophiles, etc. She knows how dangerous the world can be and she knows it can happen ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. A 13yr girl, just a couple weeks ago, was brutally murdered, stabbed to death, during her walk home, not too far from here.

The way I see it and firmly believe, if you don't exercise the strict boundaries now AND teach them WHY - it could be their downfall later. Teach them to be cautious, not to "just trust anyone".
My mother was an absolute tyrant. We weren't allowed to ask 'why.' We were always yelled back, 'because I said so.' I never treat my daughter like that. I always always always back up my actions and rules with explanation - otherwise, what will she learn out of it anyway? I love explaining stuff to her.

She is 13 now and growing up fast. When she leaves for college, I can feel 110% confident that I did all I could to be nosey, involved and just irritating enough that she will not forget the lessons.
I needed to cram all the street-sense I could into her before she's out on her own. I never want to look back and think, "I should have asked more about that kid, I knew he/she was trouble."

How do I deal with their squabbles? I listen to my daughter. Then depending on the severity or nature of the beast, I choose to call the parents or not. More often than not, the other parent seems none too thrilled to even give it a second thought. I don't care, at least I try to get it on the table. At least I am setting the example to my daughter that she sees her mom picking up the phone and actually trying to do something about it. If we hit a brick wall, I tell her to just try to get over it and life goes on. . . . . she knows she always has me! Awwww
xoxo
~Karen Falcon
http://FalconSays.blogspot.com

Mon, 2009-03-30 19:25