Is it important to mothers to experience natural birth?
The documentary "Business of Being Born" is an interesting investigation on c-sections v natural birth and the medical communities greed and laziness in steering women toward c-sections. Was it important to you to have a natural birth?
41 Comments
When I was pregnant I didn't really go into it with the mind set that it was a big deal more so that I should be able to have a natural delivery unless something goes wrong. As it was I went to a birthing center and delivered my baby with a midwife. It ended up taking longer than my midwife expected because my little one managed to wrap her cord around her neck twice and her abdomen once but she was never stressed she just took her time. Both my midwife and my birth class instructor suspect that if I had delivered her in a hospital a doctor would have recommend that I be put on pitocin to speed things along which would likely have stressed my little one out and probably resulted in a c-section. So for me I am very glad that I chose the deliver my baby with midwives that have a little more patience and faith in the ability of the baby and mother. I don't have anything to compare it to but I wouldn't change it for anything.
Fri, 2008-11-07 18:43
I am a huge fan of natural child birth. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to have a natural birth in a hospital -- I've done it twice! Doctors and nurses are becoming more and more supportive of this. I've written more about it on my blog: http://organizedmommy.blogspot.com/2008/11/you-do-not-need-drugs-to-have-baby.html.
Fri, 2008-11-14 14:30
It's great that some women want to experience entirely natural child birth. That's their personal decision. My personal decision included pitocin and epidurals for both of my children. I had two wonderful birth experiences and I wouldn't change a single thing. :)
Fri, 2008-11-14 16:07
I didn't with my first delivery for a variety of reasons, but I really hope that I can with any future babies that I have. Honestly, though I don't think it is for everyone. To be clear, I believe that just about anyone CAN do it, but it may take more commitment than some are willing or prepared to give depending on where they are in their lives. And thats o.k. It's a journey people, it's the path that matters, not the destination. But I do believe it's optimal, it's what we are designed to do.
Fri, 2008-11-14 20:43
I am the mother of three health boys. In the interest of disclosure, I have not had a c-section.
I thought I'd share some information from a movie I saw last weekend. There are a lot of statistics here: http://www.orgasmicbirth.com/birth-by-the-numbers. (I suggest that you prepare yourself for a lot of mortality statistics. It's not something I would have wanted to see while I was pregnant.)
The basic argument is that while c-sections are a very important intervention in up to 10% of all pregnancies, that once the percentage goes above that threshold maternal death statistics rise as well. The prevalence of c-sections in our country should be examined.
While some may judge women who have a c-section they should know that a study was conducted (you'll have to watch to movie for sources) that a only tiny percentage of women who have a c-section ask for it. It isn't the mothers out there demanding c-sections it is the complications that arise from all the interventions prior to the c-section.
Sat, 2008-11-15 08:41
I never really thought about it. I would say that my second child was the easiest and I did not have any drugs when I had him. If I could have had all my children that way I would have. It was easy and fast.
I do believe it is up to each person and that sometimes there are reasons why people need to have c-sections.
Wed, 2008-11-19 09:25
While I was pregnant it was very important for me to have a natural birth. Unless there were issues, there was no way I would have a c-section.
But when, at 39 weeks my son was still breech, I had no choice. Now I could care less. I don't feel like I missed out. I don't feel like I will be missing out when I have my next child, who will also be a c-section baby.
That day seems so long ago and so much has happened in the meantime, that how I had him is unimportant. What is important is that he is here, and alive.
I'd also like to add that I have seen that movie many times (love it, love it, love it) and it does inspire me to want a natural birth even though I know I wont be going that route.
When I am laying on my deathbed, I will not look back and wonder what life would have been like if I had had my children naturally. I will look back and remember their first smiles, their first day of school, their wedding day, and hopefully the day my grandchildren were born.
It's such a tiny drop in the ocean when you think about it. If you're ever faced with the decision, c-section is not that bad. Take it from someone who cared, but could care less now that it's said and done.
Fri, 2008-11-28 09:28
Everyone here keeps saying that it's up to the woman and what she's comfortable with.. I don't know if I agree with that..
When I was pregnant with my first daughter I was ADAMANT that I would have a natural childbirth with no drugs. She was butt-first breach and due to circumstances had to be born by C-section 3 weeks early. I was devastated because I had my heart set on a natural birth. I'm also a type 1 diabetic so it was a high risk pregnancy and after she was born I wasn't allowed to see her for hours after the birth.
I was so numbed by the drugs that when they showed her to me for a brief moment after she was born I didn't even have the emotions to cry, though I felt I wanted to.
The recovery time was ridiculous, I could barely walk for over a week and every time I laughed I felt like my guts were going to spill out of me.
Five years later when I was pregnant with my second I, again, was determined to have a natural childbirth.
Things went well, I had a wonderful pregnancy but because I'm diabetic, they told me I needed to be induced. I'm convinced that I could have made it to my due date and I think if we have another one, I might insist.
Anyway, they induced me and when labour hit, it hit hard and painful. I had myself convinced that I wasn't going to get an epidural, I wanted it to be as natural as can be with a high risk pregnancy. After 6 hours of pitocin I was still only at 4cm and in complete agony.
I caved and asked the nurse for something to help. Nubain helped a LOT but I was flying higher than a kite and hitting on my nurse. I was told that the baby would be high too.
Eventually I had to have the epidural. I was so angry with myself because I wanted to do it naturally. I have a very high tolerance for pain so I thought I could do it.
I think if I hadn't been induced, I would have been able to go through it all naturally.
I guess what I'm saying is that if you CAN have your baby naturally, you SHOULD have your baby naturally. Doctor's are way too pushy when it comes to C-sections. I had one doctor tell me that I should have the C-section for my second and I told him it would be over my dead body.
In the long wrong, it's true, it doesn't matter how the kids got here, it's that they're here and we get to spend the rest of our lives raising and loving them. But I guess for me personally, I wish I could have a regular pregnancy without all the high risk attached to it. I wish other women would take advantage of not having diabetes and have a natural birth. It's the way Mother Nature intended...and if there's an emergency then (in most cases) you'll be in a hospital facility where they can take care of you.
Nathalie
Sat, 2008-12-06 20:41
Nathalie,
I completey agree with you that if you can have a natural birth you should. It seems to me that you had two very bad experiences with c-sections though. And having a pictocin induced labor is MUCH more painful than having it happen in it's own time. Or so I have been told. In the movie Business of being Born they talk about how they give pictocin to induce labor but that pictocin makes labor more painful. So even woman who didn't want the epi end up wanting it for the pain. But the epi slows labor down so they have to up the dose of the pictocin to keep things moving. And then the epi, pictocin and so on until at some point the doctor says "oh it's not going well, we need an intervention" When if they had let you go, that might not have happened.
I had gestational diabete's and was threatened with a mega huge baby from the day we found out. They just terrified me in to thinking that my baby was going to be a 20 pound monster coming out of me. So when I then found out that the baby had not turned, I welcomed the c-section. And then it turned out that he was only 5 pound and also four weeks early. Even after 11 ultrasounds to date him, they delivered him at 39w 5 days (or so they thought) and still they got it wrong by 4 weeks. Always ask for a second opinion.
My c-section experience was wonderful, although slightly tainted by certain things. Jaxon had blood sugar issues for the first two days and was under heat lamps on my chest for the first 12 hours because he couldn't hold his own heat. But I did get to see him almost right away. I got up and walked the next day, I did feint from the pain but once that was done with I was moving about quite easily. And although I had a planned c-section I did not feel all that drugged up. I do feel a bit like I've had bonding issues because of my c-section.
I hope your next experience is much better than the last.
Sun, 2008-12-07 02:33
I do think it really doesn't matter whether you have a natural birth or a c-section. For those that want a totally natural birth with no drugs, at home, with a doula, etc., great. More power to you. But that just isn't for me at all. I actually had a c-section. It's funny, because whenever I tell people I had a c-section I get this sorrowful look like someone in my family just died. It's really not that bad.
In fact, my experience was excellent, and if for some crazy reason I decide to have another child, I will for sure have another c-section. Granted, I think attitude has a huge impact on your experience. I made a choice to have a c-section, and everything was planned out, and I knew precisely what to expect. Which is what works for me because that's the kind of person I am. I recovered very quickly and actually left the hospital a day early, and was literally out running errands with my mom right after we left the hospital (needed to get baby formula and some last minute supplies). So, it really is all about what you want and what you are prepared for. No one else's opinion matters. :)
Sun, 2008-12-07 14:50
If a mother chooses to have pitocin, an epidural, a C-section, whatever...I can live with that. What I think is most important is being educated about the decision you're making. I cannot for the life of me understand a woman who gets pregnant and just states, without looking into the facts, that she is getting an epidural the MINUTE she goes into labor. You spend more time researching the calorie content of your favorite cheese than you do researching what might be the most important medical event of your life.
Personally, I decided to try for a natural, drug-free birth. After 17 hours of hard labor, I received pitocin and an epidural. And I can live with that. When #2 comes, I'll try again, but if I don't make it, so be it. I'm not trying for a natural childbirth because I want to be some superhero. After doing the research and learning about side effects and risks associated with epidurals (not to mention my HUGE fear of C-sections...I don't want to be gutted like a fish!), I decided that a natural childbirth was the best path for my and my baby.
But again, the most important thing is to EDUCATE yourself about the choice you make. An epidural can be great, but it's not risk free. Think before you act.
Tue, 2008-12-09 12:25
absolutely. women AND men need to take full responsibility for their birth choices & any risk involved in those choices i had a home birth & it was a wonderful experience.
i think this is also a class issue. i hate to get abstract but i think it's important to remember that not all women have full control over their birth choices. i initally chose to do homebirth b/c i had no insurance & midwives were cheaper. this actually was one of the best decisions of my life, even though i stumbled onto it through circumstance.
also, laws inhibit women's choices. for example, my midwives fought the Arkansas state government for the right for all women in Arkansas to choose homebirth, not just poor women in rural areas (which is what the legislators wanted). had i lived in North Carolina, i could not have had the birth option i had in Arkansas. i believe that birth should always be in the hapnds of those giving birth & that we have the right to all the options.
Tue, 2009-01-06 18:17
I am personally wanting a natural birth for myself and my unborn child but I don't think it is right to judge others for their own birth decisions or say what is or isn't best for everyone, each woman and her pregnancy is different.
I too am delving in to this topic big time on my blog (http://www.harvestofdailylife.com/?s=pregnancy) since this is my first pregnancy. I am planning for a home birth type delivery with a CPM (certified professional midwife) at The Farm this summer if the pregnancy continues to be normal and risk free.
For me the decision was made because of the spirituality of birthing naturally and also because I desire a intimate boding experence with my child through the natural home delivery. Of course the health of my baby (and of myself) is the most important thing so if I develop complications and a normal home birth isn't the best thing for us we'll be at the hospital in no time.
Wed, 2009-01-07 18:01
Yes. Natural birth was extremely important to me. I had a detailed birth plan and we were hiring a doula, but in the end my choice was irrelevant.
My daughter was born 14 weeks early due to Pre-e, HELLP and low amniotic fluid (Oligohydramnios) so her chances where already low and an induced vaginal birth would have killed her as she was already in fetal distress.
The hardest thing for me was that Erin had to be born via a classical c/s which means that I'll not be able to have a VBAC because of the chance of rupture. That alone was a big factor in us deciding not to have any more children. The c/s itself wasn't kind to me. I had a spinal which took over an hour to place and then the damn thing ran out half way through. Not to mention the recovery...
Tue, 2009-01-20 16:32
My plan was to have a natural birth. Well, actually my main plan was to give birth. Period. All I wanted was a healthy baby in my arms at the end of it.
I really wanted to experience a vaginal birth. I did. I did have drugs. To be honest though, I wouldn't change a thing. I have a beautiful birthing experience. AND my little girl is healthy and wonderful. Perfect!
Sun, 2009-01-25 13:08
I find the recurring statement "those that can have natural childbirth, should" to be highly judgmental at best, and a real slap in the face at worst. Who are any of you to tell someone how they "should" have a baby? What makes you so cocksure that my experience will be simply wonderful if I forgo any painkilling medicines that are available? My childbirth experience, whatever it may be, is none of your business!
Frankly, I don't care if the earth moved when you managed to push your kid out without drugs--it's not necessarily going to be my experience, and I resent your implying that you know better than I do what I want and need during my labor.
I had no extenuating circumstances during either of my births to prevent my having an epidural. And at 4 cm, with both children, I opted for the epi. Are you better than me because you didn't? NO! Did I somehow not give birth as "legitimately" with an epi as you did without? HELL no!
I hate the way that giving birth has seemingly become a competitive sport. Lest you forget, the goal of birth is a live, healthy baby and a live healthy mother. Anything else is frivolous and fodder only for silly women who obsess about who gives birth the "best, most coolest way". This competitive birthing attitude is downright revolting and harmful.
Fri, 2009-02-13 11:23
Forgive me, I've become judgmental of people who leave one comment and no profile pic, information, or link to their nonjudgmental blog. Just when I'm in need of some mentoring!
I guess it comes with the territory, hanging out on Momversation for too long, having opinions along with everybody. And sharing them.
Boo may be Australian, and not stop by often enough, but I've been, and sometimes am same mindset. "Women (and impregnable males) who can have natural childbirth, should."
Obviously I wouldn't tell you that, because I'd have taken the time to get to know you, and I respect all my friends' opinions. Even Jay's. But if you were my sister, or African lover, and you cared what I thought...I'd suggest natural childbirth. And I'd highly recommend it.
Except when I'm feeling nervous about the whole idea, which sometimes happens, too. I've had five children, in case you haven't heard. The first four I had epi's (great nickname btw), the last was all natural. And I mean ALL natural, Laura Shanley style.
It was worth it, but honest to goodness, it was right for me but not sure I'd recommend it to my daughters. Laura Shanley, not the epi. Can anyone match or beat that birth story?
(Laura's, not mine)
Fri, 2009-02-13 17:29
I don't blog, growupartist. So does that render my comment invalid? Sorry I didn't immediately provide a dossier for your perusal and approval. I'll get right to work on that...
It's quite interesting and telling how your last comment "Can anyone match or beat that birth story?" neatly supports my assertion that SOME WOMEN have decided to turn birthing into a competitive sport. I don't try to "match or beat" anyone's birth story--that's apparently YOUR game, but not mine.
My entire point here was that it's highly presumptive for anyone to decide for other women what their birthing experience can or should be. It's not your body, it's not your baby, it's not your life, it's none of your business. Iit's incredibly arrogant to hold someone else's birth experience to your own arbitrary, personal standards.
Fri, 2009-02-13 19:37
Invalid, I'm sorry, are you handicapped, or just throwing words around? Next thing you know I'll be accusing you of making poor judgements with regards to our military boys, and for that matter, Native Americans. No dossier necessary to complain about me here.
I think you're just jealous. Anybody needing an "angry" panelist for their next creative video site venture. I believe one's just happened along.
And by the way Suze, in case you misread me somewhere along the way...I have virtually no standards. Ask anyone!
Fri, 2009-02-13 21:38
Someone please explain to me why it is ANYONE'S business how I gave birth to my children or why ANYONE has the right to judge me for that choice? Is there REALLY a superior way to bring a new life into this world? Some would have you believe just that.
Perhaps a better way to discuss this subject would be to replace the "should and should nots" with something along the lines of "What was your experience giving birth and was it a positive or negative experience for you?"
I do not understand anyone who thinks they have a lock on what is right just because of their own PERSONAL beliefs and experiences. We are all individuals and what is right for one is not right for all.
It seems time that women get over fighting about this and move forward to accepting each other's choices as what was right for them... not what one woman or group wants to promote or defend for the seemingly benefit of all women.
I have never felt the need to defend my choice of how to give birth to my children. It was a personal decision between my husband, myself and my doctor. It worked for me and I look back on my experiences with pleasure... BUT it doesn't mean I would EVER force it down anyone elses throat.
Give it up everyone who has a cat in this fight and start accepting and embracing others who may have chosen something different for themselves and their child.
Sat, 2009-02-14 11:12
I think parts of this thread got way off course. Judging people's childbirth choices wasn't even part of the conversation, the common theme has been "let's learn from each other's choices", and share our own experiences.
Unfortunately, there's been occasional and random sensitivity from people feeling judged, but honestly, I have yet to hear a single person say "you made the wrong choice". Except, I suppose when it comes to genital mutilation, and then I believe it comes down to advocating for children.
If highly recommending something comes with the risk of offending someone who didn't choose that route, then instead of snap defensiveness, perhaps MORE communication is in order. Not more "pretend I'm not judging YOU" judgement.
I've been so proud and pleased with the community on here, but very few mediums are perfect for clear communication. I just hope people take the time and effort to get to know the people who are sharing their opinions on here, and find them to be the generous and kind people I perceive them to be.
And you know what, if the wrong thing is said, so be it. The "edit" button is available, and so is forgiveness. We're all adults here, last thing we need is to be babysat by moderators.
Mon, 2009-02-16 11:53
What's considered natural?
Vaginal birth alone?
Vaginal birth no pain meds?
Vaginal birth no interventions at all?
Birth 1 - After laboring at home, I went to hospital fully dilated and fully effaced, medicated only by a few ice cream sandwiches. At the hospital, they broke my water (an intervention). I'd only been there for 30 minutes before my son arrived. Is that natural?
Birth 2 - Four weeks post due date, we induced with pitocin. Four hours and no pain meds later, baby 2! Is that natural?
We didn't conceive "naturally" (whatever that means), so maybe the births weren't natural. Oh, this is really a hard conversation, but it shouldn't be. The initial question was what is important for "you" and I think in each case we see that.
Sat, 2009-02-14 20:51
I'd assumed that "natural" was as opposed to a c/s, so as long as your baby came out your who-har it was natural.
We wanted as few interventions as possible and pain meds only when absolutely necessary (by we I do mean DH and I, but he only "wanted" it because that's what I wanted lol). We'd booked a TENS machine to help with pain management but if, in the end I'd wanted/needed an epi that's how it would have been. I think I probably would have been disappointed though.
Sun, 2009-02-15 01:30
I think the word "natural" has been thrust upon us, but I suppose the alternative would be "death" by medical standards. You know, if we all lived in the woods and followed the moon with our cycles, everyone would give birth naturally, the rest wouldn't make it. Or, maybe "unnatural" meant you ingested too much root tonic.
So maybe instead of saying, "oh, you had a c-section?" We should just give our fellow mother a hug, or the latest copy of In Style magazine and say, "How are you feeling? and "I'm so glad I get to watch your child grow up!"
Mon, 2009-02-16 12:35
Are we talking natural as in vaginal or natural meaning no meds? Having just given birth for the first time a little over a month ago (vaginal with epidural... though the epidural was running out there at the end, awesome!)... I can really only say that I had a great birth experience. In the weeks before I was due, I was mentally preparing myself if I might have to have a c-section. I don't know how I would have felt if I had a C, but I think it was a great moment in my life knowing what my body was capable of. You do what is best for your baby at that point, whether it's a natural birth or not.
Sun, 2009-02-15 07:43
For anyone who wants to go ahead and experience the limits of pain and endurance that childbirth in a "natural" environment presents, I say: "Yay you! Go for it! Enjoy your experience! Write about it when you're all finished! And I hope you get a magnificent push present!" and I hope that to me--who chose and would again choose the epidural little stars and clouds and blissful non-presence--they would say pretty much the same thing. I am sure we are all equally fine mothers.
I would also like to note that, at the time I was giving birth, there were no such things as "push presents," but if there were, THE SLICE OF PIZZA WOULD NOT HAVE COUNTED.
Just saying.
Sun, 2009-02-15 16:11
From my experience, there is a level of pressure on women, from other women, to deliver naturally. I certainly kept running into literature and anecdotes that made c-sections seem like a conspiracy by doctors to regulate their schedules and collect more $$$ and generally made the case that women who have them have been bamboozled.
Having been inundated with the above, I completely thought that I would deliver naturally. Yes, I was induced. Yes, I had an epi. Yes, I ended up with a c-section. I went in on a Monday night and finally had him by c-section on Wednesday. So of course, I spent the year and a half after his birth secretly feeling like I had failed.
With my 2nd, I wanted a vbac and the doc requested my medical records from my first delivery. When I read them, I was surprised by how much I had misremembered. I realized that the inducement and epi had not slowed down my labor. I was fully dilated early on, but he was breach and my dr did not wish to use forceps (glad he didn't). He was supportive of me continuing labor until Wednesday morning, when I was exhausted he finally said that this is what he would recommend to his own daughter. It really put my mind at ease to read it.
So, I went into labor naturally, got an epi at the request of my dr "just in case" but I requested it to be light so that I could still move my legs. She was breach too. They tried to turn her and even had me labor in another position, but it wasn't effective and I had a c-section again.
The third time, I realized that I don't need to prove anything to myself and scheduled a c. It was so stress free. Only excitement and I knew what to expect. Turned out to be perfect.
I still know that many women, even some of my friend’s think that my experience was "less than" than others. I felt that my first was, only because my expectations didn't match the reality and I, sadly, made it my own fault.
Sorry for the novel...
Mon, 2009-02-16 00:58
You know, it was the opposite for me. When I told people I wanted a drug free birth they'd tilt their heads to the side, frown and tell me that I didn't need to be a martyr. That there were no extra points for not getting an epi. Everyone, without exception, told me I'd change my mind.
I do think that *some* doctors push their own agendas on women in terms of birthing their children, in both directions. I know that some doctors down play recovery from a c/s. I have a high pain tolerance, after my c/s I didn't require pain relief at all after day 1, I was up and walking by dinner time on the second day BUT it took me weeks to heal properly and not feel like my insides were going to fall out. I can not imagine taking my daughter home on day five when I was released (she was in the NICU). I honestly don't know how women do it - I guess you do what you have to, right?
Even though I think the reasons some women give for wanting a c/s are kind of silly, it comes down to what's right for you and that you're making a *properly* informed decision. That's it.
Mon, 2009-02-16 06:36
I agree that alot of the pressure women put upon each other to deliver naturally comes from the suspicion you mentioned, that doctors are probably overscheduled as it is, and more willing to put their golf dates before our needs, hopes, and expectations.
It's a frustrating dynamic, because as mothers, we have alot at stake in wanting to "begin" our experience as mothers in a way that feels somewhat in our control. After all that we sacrifice, at the very, very least, can't we have some part of our "great beginning" match a small bit of our fairytale notions?
And when we dare pipe up, and object to the "more convenient" and supposedly completely harmless "induction" methods...despite all the rumors we've heard or experienced about stronger contractions, we are silenced.
No, muffled. No, humiliated into submission. No, that's not quite right. We simply have little say. Yes, that's better. Not sure where it figures in that we're paying consumers.
In the end, we have our stories. Perhaps we take some of our unresolved feelings out on each other, or maybe it really does exhibit itself in higher rates of post-partum depression, without the proper guidance and support out of that jungle.
Baby steps, though, right? Doing the best we can to have each other's backs, while doctors continue to dominate "the way".
Mon, 2009-02-16 12:47
As long as mum and bubs are healthy, then I think birthing any which way is fine.
Of course, I had a personal preference for ME, and that was for a vaginal birth. I didn't want an epidural because I was too afraid of the needle. I'm not kidding. And then, during Antenatal classes, the midwife explained that sometimes it won't work, and can give headaches, and I really didn't want it. I ended up birthing with no drugs. But I was lucky - I had a quick labour. If it had gone on any longer, I would have been begging for the drugs (I almost cried when I was contracting to deliver the placenta, because it was just *too*much*pain*).
However, I come from Australia and in my particular state, the rates of c/section are sitting at around 33 per cent of births. I do think this is quite high. I have seven friends who have recently given birth. Five of these friends had c/sections. Only one of these friends actually asked for a c/section in her circumstances (very prolonged labour). The others, I know, were disappointed that they were encouraged to have one.
So there probably is a case for trying to get Obs to not be so trigger happy, if you know what I mean...
Mon, 2009-02-16 09:18
I had 4 epidurals, and was told by a La Leche League friend that my children had suffered tremendously with painful headaches, due to my lack of foresight. She was standing in for the leader, but I got a good taste of the rambo tactics they used. This isn't why I chose to go without an epidural the last time, or why I decided to listen more closely to my needs above my doctor's.
I needed to regain some of the empowerment I'd lost through being a witless chart in the system. I don't entirely blame the doctors though, they have their own share of frustrations. But to pretend that women aren't affected deeply by the assembly-line we land on, it could be much more efficient and respectful, that's all.
Mon, 2009-02-16 12:54
That is the pressure that I am talking about. I do not know why someone from La Leche would tell you that your lack of foresight made your children suffer tremendously. That troubles me. There is a distinct pressure from other women to do things a certain way and women are made to feel that they have been swindled by their doctors if they choose pain medication etc.
I'm not saying that there aren't those situations, but I feel that there is a distinct sector that makes it seem worse than it is. However, while I was pleased with my care in the hospital, there is room to make it seem more individualized.
We go through 9 months with our doctors. The best advice I have after going through this 3 times is to try to decipher your doctor’s views about your wishes early on, and make sure that seem respectful of you and your experience from the start.
Mon, 2009-02-16 13:28
I've given birth four times, and each successive experience was more natural than the last, starting with a very managed vaginal birth with a bunch of people watching and doing things to me, and ending with a completely non-managed non-directed completely instinctive spontaneous birth in a private setting. There was an enormous difference for me emotionally and physically. The more natural the birth, the better I bonded with my baby, the better I felt postpartum, the more confidence I had mothering, and the easier the birth itself. I imagine the difference would have been even more profound if I'd had an institutionalized, highly interventive birth to compare. I think women are done a huge disservice with the media spinning the issue as a moral one, a competition of sorts. I didn't go natural to prove anything, I did it because I didn't want to risk my vagina getting hacked up, having to recover from surgery, having my baby taken away for observation because of my epidural fever, etc.
Sun, 2009-03-22 09:28
Yes and no. I really want to try and have a natural childbirth, but I am totally not against getting a pain killer if needed. My threshhold for pain is pretty low, so if I feel like I'm going to black out and just not make it, give the meds, baby!
Mon, 2009-04-06 14:32
Like all first time mothers-to-be, I had no idea what to expect in labour. Knowing meds would be available no matter what, we decided to pursue the natural method of Hypnobirthing to see if we could make a go of it. What I learned in the classes about the history of birth reinforced my intuitive inclination for a natural birth. I considered homebirth, but with the current regulations in my province and lack of certified midwives in my city, it would have had to be unattended or illegally attended. Fortunately, we found a family physician who attends all of his patients' births (the OBGYNs are on a rotation and you are never sure who your delivery doctor will actually be) and believed in as few interventions as medically necessary.
It all worked out for the best because the day after my due date, I experienced two placental abruptions and began bleeding very heavily. If we had scheduled a home birth, it would have been over before it started and I would have had to head to the hospital anyway. I used my hypnobirthing techniques successfully for 17 hours. My husband and I were able to laugh and joke with each other and the nurses in spite of my blood loss because the baby was being monitored and she was fine. Unfortunately, my labour stalled and I had to choose between sintocinon (in the U.S. pitocin) or having my membranes ruptured. I was exhausted; I had been awake for over 24 hours and since a C-section was a possibility because of the complications, I had not eaten since supper the night before. Knowing the sintocinon would amp up the surges, I opted to also have an epidural. My immediate reaction was to feel like I was letting myself and my baby down (and that came from my own insecurities-- not other people's perceived judgments), but I had a great doula who kept telling me how proud she was of me for making it that far.
I was petrified of the epidural-- it was the scariest part of my labour, for sure (the anaesthesiologist listing the possible side-effects-- you know, like death!-- and then telling me to hold perfectly still when I had no idea when the next surge would come was very unnerving). Fortunately it went in ok and there were no complications from the epidural. My only side-effect was the itchiness. My labour lasted another 9 hours, so I was very glad to have gotten the epidural in the end.
I think there are a lot of extremists on both sides of this debate. I try to take a balanced look at things. I agree that the medical industry and the media have done quite the number on the birthing process-- trying to convince us that we can't do it on our own. I have no doubt that there have been many women who could have had very satisfying natural births who didn't because of those two influences. I also believe that there are other women who have had fairly traumatic natural experiences because of their fear of medical interventions. In the end, you should do what your intuition tells you is best for you and your baby and not let anyone else-- not your mother, not your friend, not an organization, not the media, not the medical industry-- make you feel guilty about your choices. Just be as informed as you can be so that you don't wind up with any regrets.
We are all women blessed with this miraculous capacity and that should be celebrated-- however it plays out.
Wed, 2009-05-06 11:42
I'm with boo. (I need a shirt that says that). I cared a lot about it while I was pregnant, read up on it, looked into hypnobirthing, aromatherapy, yoga and meditation during labor, tons of prenatal yoga and kegels, affirmations, you name it.
I had a birth plan that basically threatened anyone with death if they even breathed the word "epidural." But as it turns out, our family's genetic curse of randomly large babies (no reason, not gestational diabetes or anything, and I only gained 29 pounds) forced me to have a c-section in the end anyway. My kid was almost ten pounds, so there was no way he was comin' out the regular way (and if he had, I wouldn't have been bragging about it!).
Here's the thing, though: when it came down to time to make that decision--or really, concede with the doctor's medical advice--after 30 hours of labor and never getting past 6 cm dilation, I really didn't care. There was a tiny, fleeting pinch of regret, and then for me it was all about making sure my baby was safe and out in the world where I could hold him.
Nobody stands at your vagina and hands you a trophy for doing it the way you planned. You don't get a free toaster with membership. Occasionally a starry-eyed new mom will say something to me (or to a group of moms) like, "I just feel like it was so much more FULFILLING to have a vaginal birth," and I just keep my mouth shut and take it with a grain of salt. Every child is the center of his own mom's universe, that's how it should be, and it's human nature to justify our decisions--if that means a mom having to draw a mental line in the sand to say that what SHE chose was right and what I did was wrong, in order to make her feel like a good mom when she is feeling fragile, then more power to her. And noone can lord it over me as far as pain endurance: my anesthesia didn't work, so I had a c-section and I felt the whole thing. How do ya like THEM apples? No one CHOOSES to do that, and it didn't feel too 'natural' to me...I kept begging to pass out, but I'm apparently kind of a bad-a$$. ;-) But, moral of story, my son turned out okay, and he breastfed like a champ, first try, even though they had given him a bottle of formula for his first feeding. No harm no foul.
I've got plenty of other things to feel guilty about. Like working full time, and grad school, and being a crappy cook, and locking myself in the bathroom with the shower running (but not showering) just to get a moment's peace when he's in a whiny mood, and oh, right, letting him eat stuff he's dropped on the floor. 3 second rule in full effect, 24/7.
I'm not winning the Good Housekeeping seal of approval from anybody, and I already had a toaster.
Wed, 2009-05-06 13:12
Natural birth was important to me because I personally feel very comfortable with allowing my body to experience a natural part of life without unnecessary intervention. Does that mean that I would refuse medical intervention in the case of a true emergency? No way! But still, I wanted to avoid allowing a doctor to try to control how and when my birth took place.
After two natural water births (one at a birthing center, one at home), I feel more strongly about this than ever. Natural birth is very important to me. It was one of the most human and empowering experiences of my life, and I am proud of myself for doing it the way I believed it should work for me.
I don't feel that my choice is right for everyone, though. To each her own.
:-) Tamra
Tue, 2009-05-12 13:37
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