Sex after having a baby

You're supposed to wait six weeks to have sex after giving birth, but how soon after baby was born did you want to have sex again? How long did it take you to feel like your old self again, if ever?

We want your tips on how to make the post-pregnancy to sex-goddess transition!

23 Comments

nick1990

I think with both of my kids it was definitely past the 6 weeks. I think it was around 3 months. To put it delicately, I was scared that the stitches wouldn't be healed and all the "ooze" needed to have stopped, according to both me and my husband! I definitely subscribe to the idea of getting a night out with hubby and getting a little tipsy beforehand. We rented a hotel room and had a nice evening out before attempting. In fact, my OB (a female) said that before I came back for my 6 week she wanted me and hubby to have gone out on a date at least once!

Took longer to feel sexy. Hubby wanted sex when baby was in the room (bassinet) and I just couldn't. Once they were in their own room it was easier.

Helped if I had gotten hair done that day or some other pampering (new clothes, out with friends).

Mon, 2008-11-24 18:02

HippyMom

I was so incredibly horny after I had my baby that we didn't even wait six weeks. One month to the day after the baby was born we had sex. My husband was unsure and thought we should wait but it's kind of hard when I ripped off his pants!
It hurt and was a little uncomfortable but it was worth it; until I got another infection. I had already had a vaginal(stitches) infection right after the baby was born. I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics and it cleared up. When we had sex I think it re-infected my stitches.
It was pretty gross and really painful so we had to wait a little longer than 6 weeks again just to make sure it was alright.

One of the reasons I love my husband so much is because he always thinks I'm sexy. He tells me I'm beautiful even when I'm looking like junk. He made me feel really sexy all during my pregnancy and even after the baby was born he never stopped telling how beautiful I am.
I've always been on the larger side and my self-esteem wavers a bit, but he always makes me feel amazing.
I had no problems at all getting back into the swing of (sexual) things. I attribute it to being a Leo and having an extremely healthy sex drive. Not to mention a really great husband!

Nathalie

Sun, 2008-12-07 22:29

kimchi mama

I was so fat and depressed, no sex for a long while.

Sat, 2009-01-03 23:35

grumpymom

I waited as long as I could, and then the ONE time we did it I got pregnant?!? The can't get pregnant while breastfeeding thing is a myth so I had my first child Oct. 17th and a year later on Oct. 13th came #2 and then I got an IUD put in before he touched me!

Sun, 2009-01-04 19:28

Little Bird

Okay, I thought that sex was WAY better after having our baby. I had always been on the smaller side "down there" and when you pass a baby through everything stretches out quite nicely! I mean, being married and having sex for 4 years didn't do as much as that one day. Now sex is great and we are enjoying it more than ever. So I guess the moral of the story is: don't be scared of having sex after your baby... just try it... it might even be better. It was for me!

I love what nick1990 said about going out on a date and getting a room! That would have been such a fun memory! Plus congrats to your OB for being so supportive of your sex life. That's great!

Fri, 2009-01-09 07:09

growingupartists

Keeps gettin' better here, too.

Fri, 2009-01-09 12:17

kannu

Commonsense counseling should help him appreciate this. There are various sources of such counseling, but I can tell you that many local Family Planning clinics are staffed by women doctors who've been specially trained to help couples with this difficult problem. Also, in recent years Relate have become increasingly good at helping couples in your situation; you’ll find their local number in your phone book.
-----------------------------------------
kannu
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Home Based Business-Home Based Business

Wed, 2009-01-21 17:06

badmummy

What is this "sex" you speak of?

Tue, 2009-01-27 16:15

growingupartists

And what's this London escort link someone keeps throwing around. Is it a preview of an upcoming Momversation topic, "Does the 'oldest profession' get a bad rap?"

Wed, 2009-01-28 09:33

badmummy

I think it might be spam..?

Thu, 2009-01-29 05:37

growingupartists

I give this particular spammer more credit than that. I think it's an invitation, an exclusive one aimed at hot mommies like ourselves.

Thu, 2009-01-29 10:10

hippymoms

Squirt Her Pussy

Sun, 2009-02-22 15:23

growingupartists

Oh good, now I finally know where to begin my crack down on Internet pimps. If I find out there was kidnapping involved, I'm becoming a lawyer. Anyone else see the MSNBC special on pimps advertising on Craig's list? Should be an easy enough sting operation...Obama, can you spare some more of those blue collar dollars? We've got America's children to save.

Sun, 2009-02-22 14:31

badmummy

There needs to a link on posts that allows you to report spam...

Tue, 2009-03-03 03:20

Momversation

Thanks for the suggestion! We're working on it.
In the meantime, please feel free to report spam to info@momversation.com.

Tue, 2009-03-03 15:24

growingupartists

Tell the truth, Momversation. You're still working your way through all the virtual pornography, to have time to take it off. There are support groups for that!

Tue, 2009-03-03 17:13

Momversation

Sshhh, don't tell our secrets!

Wed, 2009-03-04 02:21

growingupartists

Ha-ha-ha! It's not a robot afterall, guys. At least I'd assume only humans develop addictions.

Wed, 2009-03-04 09:04

eringremlin

4 weeks recovery + fabulous date night + wine = back in the saddle! I'm all about scrumping whenever the opportunity arises. Oddly enough, I went through a super-horned period the first week post baby. I resisted, assuming the emerg c-sect scar wouldn't take it well.

Wed, 2009-03-04 13:14

growingupartists

Scrumping = I love it! Love yer slang, lady!! C-sect, super-horned, you and your honey must have a fun jibe! Do you have a nickname for him?

Wed, 2009-03-04 23:39

mommyof2mixedbabies

OK, I just now saw this topic. I just posted a topic pretty much about the same thing. I am so retarded. I want to have sex, but Im afraid of it hurting, and I am SOOOOO afraid of getting pregnant again. BLAH.

Fri, 2009-03-06 17:46

lindy

Hi. My first pregnancy was by Cesarean and it took me around 20 weeks I think. I was extremely sore from my cesarean and the fact that it was a 32 hr emergency cesarean I think thats what made my healing process so long. That and I also went right off sex. The second birth was a lot better and I thing it was around 3 weeks before we had sex after pregnancy. It actually took a bit for me to get back into sex again and in fact my husband help the process along by doing romantic things for me and taking me out to dinner.

Sun, 2009-06-28 23:52

Tamra

I'm a horrible example to follow... My husband and I waited a whopping *2 weeks* after my second birth. We did a homebirth, which went very smooth and quick, and I had no tearing. My midwife recommended waiting about 6 weeks, or when I stopped bleeding. Well, when my bleeding stopped after 2 weeks, we decided to get a little frisky... one thing led to another... and we ended up having sex. Using protection, of course.

That really wasn't the best choice, and I wouldn't recommend it. It felt good and didn't cause any problems physically, but I was a mess emotionally. My body was still in that spongy, breast-engorged, sleep-deprived state. My husband was gentle and loving, but I just felt so bad about myself that it turned me off to sex for a long time after that.

Now, after my first baby, I had sex again 7 weeks after the birth. I felt ready and wanted to be intimate again. It was wonderful (albeit a little painful... so take it slow and use lots of lube!), and our sex life went back to normal almost immediately. That was a much better postpartum sex experience.

Mon, 2009-06-29 09:49