Advocating for Your Child

Once your kid enters school, you'll often find yourself advocating for your child, whether your child has special needs, health issues, problems with school work, or difficulties with a teacher. But where is the line between being an advocate and being a disrespectful parent? Or does that line not exist when it comes to your child? Jessica Gottlieb of JessicaGottlieb.com asks, "How do you advocate for your child?"

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sarah.ann.perrone
1 years ago

Flat out I look at it as parenting. You cannot advocate for your own child because it is the social expectations or part of the unwritten book of good parenting rules. Now you can advocate for other people but I do not see how you can advocate for your own child.

jbridgetfisher
2 yearss ago

I have been advocating for my child since kindergarten when we put together our first IEP. I am currently fighting the high school for not following the plan to redirect negative behaviors. They are going outside the plan, suspending my school thus they are restricting his learning environment and not affording him an appropriate education ... amongst other things. It's a frustrating process. I also advocate for my child who doesnt have an IEP or learning needs. Isaiah goes to a school where girls are allowed to wear skirts and pants, but boys may only wear pants. We're talking about a place that can get 90% humity and 100 degrees. This is an unfair dress code, if girls can wear skirts, boys should be allowed to wear shorts. Also, in the lunch room the children are provided one beverage choice MILK available in different flavors, they can have water for an additional cost. There is no water fountain in the cafeteria or lunch room. This is an injustice to the children as well, and I am fighting to change both things.The school should have water available to students, just as it is done at the high school and elementary school. Fighting for your children is never ending. By doing so they understand that they too can make a difference, they learn that this requires different channels, and follow up and it is okay to challenge things. They feel loved, important and that their voices can be heard despite who is in charge.

rockdrool
2 yearss ago

the minute i found out i was pregnant, i became an advocate for my children. that's our jobs as parents until they are able to stand up and advocate for themselves.

Daphne
2 yearss ago

Thank you for sharing this. I think the distinction that it's out of your comfort zone or something you hate doing is interesting.

heather_r
2 yearss ago

I have to say, I don't understand the question. Asking "Are you an advocate for your child?" as it's presented in this discussion is like asking "Are you a parent to your child?" If advocate = standing up for your kid when someone threatens their safety or ability to learn in a non-hostile environment, then I think every decent mom and dad would say yes. Not much to discuss there. A more interesting topic would be where is the line between standing up for your kid and being overprotective.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

Then you weren't paying attention. It was HOW do you advocate for your child? HOW do you speak or act on their behalf?

Daphne
2 yearss ago

good point. I think you were paying attention.

JavaCupcake
2 yearss ago

Very recently, my 4th grade daughter was threatened to be killed with a knife by a 3rd grade boy at her school. After my first contact with the principal about the incident, I felt as though they were clueless as to handle the situation and offered no answers as to how they were 1) going to discipline the boy 2) protect my daughter 3) help this boy so that he doesn't act out again. I had to become a very proactive advocate for my daughter's safety at her school. I think this is yes, as Daphne pointed out is a normal part of being a mother and parenting and doesn't necessarily need to be differentiated... but at the same time, this was a major incident where I needed to step in and be an advocate for my daughter. My daughter, although she did speak of how scared she was, can not effectively advocate for herself enough in this serious of a situation, so it's my duty as a parent to advocate & speak up for her. Clearly, no one else was going to at her school. So, I stepped in, called everyone I could, emailed everyone I could until someone came up with answers. I didn't back down. And honestly, it was because of this that the school and the district stepped up and took the drastic actions that were necessary to protect my daughter. Yes, I am an advocate for my daughter every day. But sometimes, in extreme situations, this advocacy is heighten and brought to the forefront and is shown to be necessary for the safety of my child.

MeMyselfandMommy
2 yearss ago

Wow guys, from reading your comments, this seems to be much more touchier than I would have expected. I think that everyone is charged about the subject because we all feel that we are appropriately advocating for our children, but fear that others think that the way we advocate is wrong because they may do it differently. I think that this is one of those situations that we have to stop and remind ourselves that only we know what is best for our children and family. Even within your family, you may have to advocate differently for each child because they have different needs. Ultimately, I want to raise children that feel empowered to stand up for themselves and for what they believe in. I want them to know the struggle and reward that comes with fight for what you want. Sometimes that may mean that I need to fight a few battles with and for my children. Children after all learn by example. Regardless of how I feel, you must remember that you know more than any outsider looking in what is best for your children.

SilverXeno
2 yearss ago

Oh jeez, let's get over the semantics of what "advocate" means. Used here, as a noun, an advocate is a person who speaks or writes in support or defense of another person. A person who pleads for or in behalf of another; an intercessor. That's what a parent DOES. So YES a parent IS an advocate for their child. I will ensure my child's rights aren't being trampled. I have on occasion spoken up on her behalf (when she would have been too young to understand that her rights were being taken from her). But I also expect my daughter to work with what she has.

Advocating for Your Child

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