Are People Online Too Negative?

You know the old saw, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Turns out, that's not quite true. Anyone who spends time on the Internet has seen some major negativity from vulgar comments to angry blog posts, and all that nastiness can affect one deeply. And with the crummy economy, crooked companies, and wars on two fronts, do we really need to add to all the pessimism in the world? Maybe we should use our little corners of the Web to spread sunshine and happiness. So, Rebecca Woolf of Girl's Gone Child asks, "How do you retain your optimism online?"

Do you think it's the responsiblity of the blogging and social networking communities to not "go negative?" How do you keep optimistic in the face of all the hostility found on the Internet? And do you think people are too mean online (take our poll!)? Join the Momversation by commenting.

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Showing the Latest of 32 Comments

SomethingGirl
3 yearss ago

Ha! More people should have one. Highly recommended. The internet hates us and wants us to commit suicide, remember? An Ego Boost folder helps to minimize the damage. I think for Dooce it's called "opening up comments".

SomethingGirl
3 yearss ago

Jessica! That was so kind and generous of you to say! I'm floored. Especially since you're so good at the biting wit and teasing. Also, you never commented on my blog until recently. I'm glad I came back to check what was goin' on. I'll be adding this to my "ego boost" folder on Gmail. :-) You're so sweet. Actually, after taking some cow adrenal, among other things, for a few days, I feel fantastic! Instead of taking four hours to wake up, it only takes a few minutes! Imagine!

oneandonly_erin
3 yearss ago

yes, but MY name is erin...

SomethingGirl
3 yearss ago

I think she knew that and was joking. :-)

Sarah@Ohana Mama
3 yearss ago

I am from the camp that thinks that if you think negatively, you will live in negativity and if you think positive, positive things will come your way. You can, and will, get pulled down if you only think doom and gloom. I believe in the power of suggestion, The Secret, vision boards, all that. That is how we got to Hawaii. How my life has played out so far - seriously... I made a list of how I wanted my life to play out and things keep happening from that list. It's trippy. About spreading cheer on the internet...I am surrounded by positivity on the web. I think it's actually my escape. I work with companies who are looking to gain awareness - this means they aren't stopping shop. They aren't being paralyzed by the economy. They are moving forward. With faith. I LOVE my job, my blog, the bloggers I work with who are always thinking of something more to do - they get you energized , excited, thinking positively. Anyhow, long story short...believe that things will be better - act as if they are already (but carry with you the lessons that this was meant to teach us) and look forward with a bright smile, open eyes and positive attitude.

nicnicnic
3 yearss ago

so, here's some negative-thinking for ya... i logged in to momversation this morning and saw the topic posted for today. first thing that came to mind... "LAAAAAAAAME!" so i left it alone for a while and went about my morning. but then i came back to it... why? who knows. i was curious, i guess. when we first moved to annapolis, i wrote the following post on my blog... http://www.mybottlesup.com/2009/01/up-north.html i'm a southern gal. i like my smiles, my "heeeey" greetings from people that i know and don't know as people pass each other by. i like the friendliness that i became so accustomed to while living in the south for years. and it's not here... up here... in yankee-ville. (sorry yanks). it's taken its toll on me, mentally, it really has. and i didn't expect it to. so the combination of now living up north (ok, it may not be "up north" for you, but it is for me), and the economy, and the joblessness, and the whateverthehellitisthatpissesyouoffonadaytodaybasis... has taken its toll on me. while i disagree that it's an "obligation" for us, as bloggers, writers, twitterers, whatever... i do agree that spreading the love can only bring about goodness. and we all could use a little goodness here and there. yesterday, paul and i celebrated jackson's 11 month birthday by walking to an ice cream shop. it was 45 degrees out, but i wanted jackson to have a cake cone in preparation for next months bath in his birthday cake. so we went, ice cream was shared, stories were told... and i watched numerous random strangers smile at paul and i as they watched our son destroy his cake cone, attacking it with his mouth, his hands, and his 8 teeth as if it was the greatest treat ever. and i liked knowing that jackson made a bunch of people smile.

bwankel
3 yearss ago

Well, here's my two cents. Into what category do most of the things you look for on the Internet fall? News and Current Events, right? And, call me a pessimist, but news = doom and gloom. Especially right now. Also, I don't think it's any more doom and gloom than it ever was in the past, but the Internet allows for a wider dissemination of information. That's kind of the burden we have to carry with this awesome technology. As for the negative comments, blogs and messages, I think it's human nature to, when something upsets you, go on a tirade. Especially if you are given the benefit of anonymity. The Internet is giving people a chance to take part in discussions on topics they probably otherwise would have known nothing about. So, they comment on it, and typically in a pretty heated fashion. But, also keep in mind one person's negative (or "wrong") response is another's positive (or "correct") response. I'm very guilty of having posted really negative comments on blogs and message boards. But only if I feel really strongly, and typically only if someone has been rude to me or towards my side of the issue. People probably react to rudeness more than are just outright rude. Of course, someone has to be the first rude one, right? I'm not sure how many of those types are out there... Now, all of that said, I make a conscious effort to keep my own blog free from negativity or highly controversial topics that are likely to bring out the worst in people. Some days that leaves me high and dry creatively, but so be it. I'd like to change the dynamic of the way humans communicate in the 21st century. I'd like to try to focus on positive things, positive news, and try to make people smile. Not frown or squirm.

Cynthia
3 yearss ago

Hmmmm. I feel like somewhere along the line cynicsm got mistaken for verve. And negativity got mistaken for intelligence. I feel that we just need to face our quirky realities, whatever they happen to be at the moment. Rebecca, I agree with you that I have an obligation to spread positive energy. That idea is very concrete to me. However, I never want to sacrifice my genuine experience, which isn't always positive (to say the least). & I did very much appreciate your last post about it. It was optimistic, but more than that, it was warm. Hey, here's an idea: how about we be vulnerable. You know, real. Through and through. Because only people that don't feel very safe around one another intimidate each other with preconceived notions of how they "should" feel or be. Not that it's bad to do this; it's just, maybe there's a better way. growingupartists, i love your articulateness which reads like a stream-of-consciousness poem. Now, I know you're not really apologizing for that, right???? Viva la mama, Cynthia http://www.therichmama.com/

denise karis
3 yearss ago

I follow many many many blogs - so when I log on to read them, I know what to expect. I know I'm not going to get a bunch of negative crap dumped on me because I know who I read. And negative and positive asside, I read a blog if it's interesting or entertaining. I love blogs that (Like you said, Rebecca) uncover the flowers in the garbage - who find something funny in something that is usually frusterating or complicated. I do love the idea that happiness is contagious though!!!

SomethingGirl
3 yearss ago

How do I retain my optimism online? I've thought about this topic A LOT. When I started my blog last July I named it Becoming Something with the idea that it would be about me becoming something BETTER but with the realization that sometimes I falter and I end up in a rut where I'm just becoming SOMETHING. Something annoying, something lazy... whatever. I decided early on that I didn't want my blog to be a ventathon. I don't really care to read other people's negative ranting so why would they want to read mine? But then it creeped in a little bit because I have been STRUGGLING with hypothyroidsim and it leaves me feeling horrible approximately all the time. I've recommitted myself to saving my venting and complaining to Facebook, where my real friends, the only people who care about all the unhappy stuff, can read it and comment and comfort me. And I'm saving my blog time for information, inspiration and fun. Early on I also implemented Daily Gratitudes, to keep myself in check because I know I have the tendency to complain. Even on the crappy days, I try to come up with 5 things for which to be grateful and I try to make them different. I'm surprised at how many people have commented that this is their favourite part of my blog. EVEN THE CRABBIEST PEOPLE I KNOW. They say it's their favourite part. One friend picked up the idea within her Facebook Notes. A few people have started the same practice on their own blogs. It's an easy way to end a post on a positive note without having to wrap it up in some cliche "moral of the story" ending. I'm going to be doing a feature where I add the Daily Gratitudes of other people to my post, every Sunday, linking to their blogs. If they've decided to add this same feature to their blogs. Also, I decided a couple of days ago to devote every Sunday (when I'm always home and not really busy) to this idea of Becoming Something. I'll write something related to self-improvement or world-improvement. As far as Twitter goes, I've noticed that humour does rule the day and it's easier to be funny when being snarky. It's much harder to be funny and pleasant. It's the reason why I don't read a lot of popular mom blogs. They often have a negative tone and it's such a downer. Name five popular mom bloggers whose blogs are mostly perky and positive.

Are People Online Too Negative?

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