Censoring Your Blog

We love our Momversation panelists because they are honest, affecting, (and awesome) writers. But they've sometimes received criticism for the openness of their blogs. Panelist Rebecca Woolf of Girl's Gone Child asks her fellow mommy bloggers, "How (and when) do you censor your own blogs?"

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LetterEleven
3 yearss ago

Growingupartists, what a cool concept! Thank you for the suggestion, that is definitely a possibility I want to chew on... and, if I go through with it, you'll be the first to know! :) Thanks again for the insight.

MoscowMom
3 yearss ago

I think, if we talk about our kids and their friends who may google some unpleasant (or very private) things about their childhood - it's something different from the point about forcing others to read your blog. If my mother's friends would read about her problems with her grandchildren - where's her privacy? I think, if a blogger writes about his/her family/friends, they should be asked, do they give permission for that...

nicnicnic
3 yearss ago

i still feel very new when it comes to the whole mommyblog concept. i have been blogging since i was pregnant with jackson, who is now 9 months old. originally, the purpose of the blog was to journal the pregnancy. i have always written and thought "super, i can type my journal on blogger and post it with pics so people can see how huge i'm getting." it was during this time that my husband's orders with the navy came through and we were told we were being sent to japan... with the unborn first grandchild on both sides of the family... then the blog took on a new purpose--- keep all informed with as much info as possible to prep our families for basic communication via internet, blog, skype, for what was our upcoming move. and then jackson was born. the blog was still read mostly by family, dear friends, but was starting to get picked up by friends of friends, etc... and then the comments like "gosh, i feel like i'm reading something i shouldn't be privy to" started coming in. these comments especially picked up when jackson was 5 weeks old and i had to stop breastfeeding because he was allergic. my son's feeding issues that literally forced me to stop breastfeeding became such a taboo topic on my blog that it started being shared much more than i thought imaginable. suddenly my son's speech pathologist (who was helping us reteach jackson to eat) was sharing my blog link with other clients of her's, doctors were checking our my blog to gain patient insight... it got kinda crazy. because of jackson's feeding issues, we obviously never made it to japan, and are now in annapolis, md. my point is this... the blog serves different purposes as time and circumstances change. what started as an online journal of my pregnancy has turned in to something totally different. through it all, i have chosen not to censor myself much... and i can relate to rebecca a lot on this. i need to be as honest as possible on my blog, for me. i consider myself a writer, and in taking that role on, i am taking on a personal responsibility to write what and how i feel. censorship comes when i decide because it's my blog, my story... and kathie lee can go suck it. (ps- who saw the snl skit of her and hoda?)

MsBwell
3 yearss ago

I have two blogs… one for the family & one for me. The family one I censor my thoughts and views. I watch my tone and language so I don’t offend anyone. It’s main use is just to keep family members updated on our household. You will never hear a rant on my MIL there. On my “grown up” blog I post anything I want to say. If you are offended just click the little x in the upper right hand corner. It’s my place to voice my opinions on my life. I don’t rant like I use to, maybe I’m growing up, but I still have a place where I can. I have noticed and maybe it’s the mom in me I don’t curse just in case a child reads my post. Kind of silly I know since there is far worse stuff out there. As for our identities… I don’t use our last name but an abbreviated version. Way back when I first starting blogging (like 2000) I went through the phase of using DH, DD1 and DD2. The thought being I was protecting my family while still getting to express myself. I’ve since moved on from that and now use everyone’s first name. I have asked my family if my blogging bothers them and so far no complaints. Married/Single Parent

Cynthia
3 yearss ago

I have two words for the haters: Bill Cosby. As for me, I use my identity & I have & will post pics of my daughter on the blog. But the blog isn't solely focused on my personal family life, although I do focus on family & women's issues. I would not post something that I would not say to someone personally. But that's my rule in life: I try not to say anything about others that I would not say to or in front of the person I'm talking about. My daughter is a tween & has opinions about what I'm doing. She caught me tweeting about her wanting to name her nintendog "antidisestablismentarianism" (still looking for asswipe who created that word). In short, I was annoyed & tweeting about it & she said, "Mom, don't tell them that. They'll think I'm stupid." So I didn't.

prettybabies
3 yearss ago

My rule of thumb is that I don't write anything on my blog that I wouldn't want to see on the front page of the local paper. If it would hurt someone, or embarrass them, then I edit it out. But I leave in the stuff that might piss people off, because that tends to start the best conversations. I love how you equate bloggers to writers of previous eras - did Nathaniel Hawthorne exploit the characters in his books? Especially that little old lady who spent 9 pages in the bathroom in The House of Seven Gables? Of course not. The rest of society simply hasn't caught up to the technology, and doesn't understand that we're just as much "writers" as someone whose words are on paper at Barnes and Noble. The difference, though, is that in publishing a book there is a lot of time for reflection, for editing, it is scrutinized by other people prior to being published, and so on. Whereas with blogging, the immediacy can cause one to hit "Publish Post" before one has reflected on what the consequences of the words might be. Great topic! Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

The Moxie Report
3 yearss ago

This is by far my favorite Momversation episode. While I'm a staight shooter in my personal life I do find myself editing what I say in my blog. I'm still blunt but as I write I always remind myself that anyone anytime anywhere in the world can read my writing. Now, I could care less about strangers and what they think of me but my family that's a different story. I would never say anything that would cause embarrasment to them. So I usually steer clear of any mother-in-law stories unless they're just too funny to pass up. I write about my daughter all the time and so far that's not an issue because for Pete's sake she's only two. She's more concerned about what her Elmo doll has to say about her than anything mom has to say. Of course, I wouldn't hesitate to show her my blog when she's old enough to understand it. The blog really is an amazing way to record history. As for the naysayers who critcize women for blogging about their kids. Well, clearly they have issues. The biggest hypocrite of all has to be Kathie Lee Gifford. She talked about her kids every workday morning for years on national television and now she has a problem with moms blogging about their kids? Give me a break lady. Tracy http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com

Mindy
3 yearss ago

Heh, you'll love this: I handed over my manuscript in the middle of the divorce and said, "Read it and flag. What you give me will go to print." Now no one, especially my mother, who did the final editing, can say they were surprised or offended. Imagine that. In. the. middle. of. divorce. And he didn't redline a thing. FTW! *\o/*

brandistrand
3 yearss ago

This was a great episode and very timely for me! I agree with most of you, I would not post something on my blog that I have not expressed to those that I'm writing about. I know that my family and friends read my blog, so I do censor myself a bit. My question about censorship was more because of a subject matter. I recently posted about my sister's relationship with her ex and what I thought of the situation. She knew how I felt, my mom did and so did my friends. There was nothing different in what I wrote from what I said and discussed with them. It was not a personal attack on her ex, I was just questioning the situation. My sister was fine with the post, my friend was not. He said it made him feel "uncomfortable." I know that I cannot bash my husband or talk about his mom or even complain about my family on my blog. This I save for my personal journal that's on my computer, if I really need to vent it out. Although, I'm pretty lucky because I don't feel the need to complain about my husband too much :) I started my blog as a way to collect my random thoughts and to archive my life (not that I feel like I'll be famous, but I'm nostalgic). I agree with one of the panelists...if my son (and eventually kid #2) wants to know what was going through my mind when he was growing up, well come on by mommy's blog to find out. Brandi http://brandistrand.wordpress.com

Rebecca
3 yearss ago

Interesting, growingupartists -- For me I've yet to have an issue with a friend or family member that was hurt or at all damaged by what I've written on my blog or anywhere else. It was cut out in this Momvo but I did talk about how I asked everyone included in my book if they were okay with me writing about them candidly as well as using their names. Everyone was cool with it. Everyone has always been cool with it but also, I've been writing about my life professionally since I was fourteen so everyone pretty much knows that to be in my life is to be involved in a story I am constantly updating either online or in print. I also made the point that when it comes to blogging (for me) names aren't changed to protect the innocent because at this point, no one's innocent... everyone I cross paths with could/might end up on my blog or hidden in a book somewhere. I'm not going to write badly about anyone I love but I will write honestly... Unfortunately these eps have to be edited down to shorts so a lot of the conversation depth gets left out. I think we're all working on that. Thanks for your candid critique!

Censoring Your Blog

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