Do You Feel Birthday Party Pressure?

Bouncy houses, clowns, and pizza as far as the eye can see... it's your child's birthday, and that means one thing: birthday party! But the Pin the Tail on the Donkey days of yore seem to be over. Instead, you'll find theme parties with pony rides and artsy, expensive cakes. It seems like some birthday parties have become less about celebrating the day of your child's birth and more about competing with other parents. Does it have to be that way? Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom asks, "Do you feel birthday party pressure?"

What are kids' birthday parties like in your neck of the woods? Is there a lot of competition amongst parents? Do you find yourself caving to the demands of your kids? Join the Momversation by commenting below.

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Showing the Latest of 34 Comments

melanyor
2 yearss ago

Yesterday it was a birthday party of my little daughter. Now she is 2. Telling the truth I'm against bigg parties with an amount of guests. So we decided to invite just two our close friends with thier families.There were 3 kids (including our daughter). Our kids had a great time! So do we. We played games all together, ate cake and so on. But the main thing I want to say is, that if you celebrate the party with the people you love, it'll be a great party and there will be lots of fun. And you won't waste energy on pretending that you like all the guests and that you are happy they come to your party. As for the decorations and all that stuff, we moved to the new house just fwe weeks before the party. So we hadn't enough time and finance to organize something special. But we ordered an amount of ballons and a cake in the shape of Winnie-the-Pooh. We also prepaired a lot of activities. Actually it was a great party and everybody liked it. I want to say that it doesn't really matter, how much money you spend on the birthday party of your kid. Love and care - all that matter.

NJ_2_NorCal_Mom
2 yearss ago

Summer
2 yearss ago

peapillybean
2 yearss ago

Hey Daphne, I'm so sorry I wish I could take all the stress away. We had a very similar problem when my eldest daughter hit the desperately needing a princess party faze and just didn’t have the money for the jumping castle she wanted for the princesses to go in. We have always been always been honest with our kids about money and I think that helped she’s quite used to hearing, “No, honey we just don’t have 300 bucks to spend on a pony even if it does make chewing sounds when you stick a plastic carrot in front of its nose.” I don’t feel that being candid about money is adding stress to kid’s lives, for us it has reduced the stress. When they ask for stuff they ask weather we can afford it and if the answer is no they accept it and don’t resent Mummy and Daddy because they know we’re not being meant it’s that money stuff again. I know it is hard, we so desperately what to make our kids happy, to see their glowing faces when we give them something that they really want. But if we can’t afford it then we have to admit that not just to them but to ourselves as well. In the end for Lani’s Party we did a Cinderella theme and asked all the mum’s to dress their little girls in rags but to secretly bring a party dress in a bag. I asked one of my friends to be the fairy Godmother. When all the poor bedraggled little girls had arrived, and were busy being so sad that they couldn’t be princesses, the door bell rang. The girls opened the door to find my friend complete with cardboard wand and wings and glittery fairy dust. She also had all the party dresses secreted from the mums as they arrived. The girls were whisked off into a bedroom to be magically transformed into princesses and to make pasta jewellery. The few boys that were there ran outside with me to make the so wanted castle in the form of a cubby house made from sheets and chairs. Because the “castle” was a surprise it was a huge hit. When the princesses arrived we played music and they danced a princess ball in front of the castle till (pretend) midnight. Then all the girls ran off to hide leaving one shoe behind and the boys and a few dads picked a shoe and played hide and seek to find their princess. The party only cost us the prise of the food we supplied and is still talked of today, and she can’t even remember that she wanted a jumping castle.

Daphne
2 yearss ago

what a great idea! You are so dear.

talulattdh
2 yearss ago

Wait wait wait wait! Rebecca got a clown? No fair! :-P

mommytoall
2 yearss ago

we do Big Bday Parties age 1 ,5 ,10, 16 and you can heave 1 friend for every year you are. the rest of the Bday the Gparents have us over for dinner and cake or cupcakes (have to do seperate things with Gamas because they don't get along)My husband and I do an outing were she can invite 3 friends skating, small slumber party,drive in theater/sleepover ,mini golf whatever doing separate things with Gparents is kinda hard and makes every year a week long Bday but its better than the drama of having them all together last time we did a skating party where her 5 friends came to skate rink with their parents I got pizzas and skate rental for all the kids if Parents wanted to skate they paid for themselves. I dont do drop offs for big Bday partys Parents have to stay. I dont like when Parents drop off their kid a bday party then comeback whenever cause they have a free babysitter. you need a sitter ask me directly and dont do it on a day where life is crazy from a bday party

Hetta Hoo
2 yearss ago

I have to admit that I have never understood parents who go crazy for birthdays- especially when the child is still very young. I personally don't remember any of my birthdays until I hit about 8 or 9 and think that making sure you acknowledge the child's birth- and as someone else mentioned giving them a bit more power to decide what they want to do on their special day- is enough in the beginning. Personally I am planning on having a cocktail party when the time comes for the first birthday (I am currently three months pregnant). Of course I'll give the baby a cupcake but it will mainly be for the adults:D Don't get me wrong later on I also had sliding parties, a visit to an amusement park, a visit to a water park, and sleepovers ( my 16 year party was a 3 day 2 night sleepover extravaganza but it was with my 4 closest friends and at that point we had already been best friends for about 8 years so it wasn't much different then a normal weekend LOL). But I think for most of these once I got out of that grade school age where you pretty much have to invite the whole class, I was always with just a few friends which kept costs down and made it a fun event for everyone including my single mom. I think that it is OK to say no to unrealistic wishes and that those aren't the things that make a birthday fun and special anyways. Being with friends and family, eating yummy food, and knowing that you are loved are the things that make a birthday fun! I also never had a homemade birthday cake in my life and don't feel that I missed out at all. My mom always got really neat cakes from the grocery store that looked gorgeous and tasted great- so I hope no one feels that they have to bake a cake from scratch! Whew sorry that was so long. I guess I had more to say then I thought LOL.

Giyen
2 yearss ago

When my daughter was 13 she started hinting about what she wanted her SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN birthday party to be (like because of that MTV show). She figured that if she gave me several years notice, I might be able to get that Range Rover or book Jay-Z. I canceled cable.

Daphne
2 yearss ago

funny, yeah that show is evil

Do You Feel Birthday Party Pressure?

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