Do Your Kids Call Adults by Their First Names?

mynameis
2 yearss ago

I was brought up to say MR. or MRS., but I found around here, everyone calls someone Auntie or Uncle (or just by first names). I actually find this very irritating as for me - auntie and uncle are special privelages that come with being a REAL family.

ali
2 yearss ago

I have quite a few friends who have married into the same family so I think for my children to address them all by their last name would get very confusing. I also kind of feel that if my children's friends were to address me by my last name it would feel strange given that I associate the title with my mother in law. My nephew has been taught by his step-father to be sure to address people by their proper titles but when he called me Aunty Ali, to me that felt wrong so I asked him to just call me Ali. I recently received a handmade card from him saying "Dear Ali, you have been a great Ali to me" I thought it was hilarious.

PurpleTree
2 yearss ago

I can see both sides. I grew up with my parents having lots of close friends, of which I called them by their first names, so it's what I'm used to. I still called new adults including my friends parents "Mrs. Lastname". My husband called close adults "Aunt (or Uncle) FirstName", which was actually confusing to me when we started dating as to who was actually an Aunt or Uncle. My best friend has her kids address me as Auntie Kelli which is fine by me. I guess I better decide what I want do to about this since I'm due with my first in Feb!

PurpleTree
2 yearss ago

I can see both sides. I grew up with my parents having lots of close friends, of which I called them by their first names, so it's what I'm used to. I still called new adults including my friends parents "Mrs. Lastname". My husband called close adults "Aunt (or Uncle) FirstName", which was actually confusing to me when we started dating as to who was actually an Aunt or Uncle. My best friend has her kids address me as Auntie Kelli which is fine by me. I guess I better decide what I want do to about this since I'm due with my first in Feb!

theambershow
2 yearss ago

I forgot to add: I like when doctors, who insist on being called "Dr. Smith" call me Mrs. Blatt.

Caroline Lewis
2 yearss ago

For me, I think that if there is no personal relationship or social relationship, like at church, it's Mrs. Brown, Mr. Smith. If there is a relationship there that is more personal, then I would go with Ms. Carol Lou, Mr. Rico (that's his first name). Her daycare workers are Ms. Gail, Ms. Molly, etc. Her teachers will be Mrs., Mr., Ms. Last Name, though. It can be complicated. Life is complicated. She's figure it out like she will all the other social rules by which we intend to raise her.

innej54
2 yearss ago

It's so fitting that you should bring this up now. I was in my daughter's kindergarten classroom this week to help out with some fall festivities and one of my daughter's classmates asked my name. I told him he could call me Ms. Jenni. The classroom aide, a woman in her 60s, told me that he should call me Mrs. MyDaughter'sLastName, and then proceeded to roll her eyes at me as if I were a child when I said I'd prefer to be Ms. Jenni. This woman's attitude towards MY choice of MY NAME was far more disrespectful than a child calling me by my first name. I agree with Heather that the issue is about teaching your children to respect adults. It's also about commanding respect from children, regardless of what they call you. If it helps you command respect by insisting that children call you by Mrs. YourLastName, then by all means, insist away. In my own case, I don't want to automatically be Mrs. MyDaughter'sLastName, primarily because my daughter and I do not have the same last name. I do default to having my children include titles for adults we don't know well, but I don't expect and don't want my children's friends to include a formal title when they address me.

Kimberly - Mom ...
2 yearss ago

In short, "No". I wrote a whole big post about this on another site back in June. The gist: -I don't think that it's necessarily an issue of respect (although I do see lines between children & adults being crossed a lot when adults allow young kids to call them by their first names). More, it's an issue of personal preference. -I live in NYC where many adults allow kids to call them by their first names. My husband and I (as a compromise) allow our kids to call people "Mr." or "Ms." First Name. -I don't make other people's kids call us Mr. or Ms. EXCEPT when I'm taking care of them in a group situations. (It's just too much for my Southern raised ears to hear a whole bunch of kids calling me "Kim! Kim!" at the same time...) -If our kids are under someone else's "official care" (i.e. school), we defer to their preferences. Thankfully (for us), the school that my oldest son currently attends have the children use "Mr." or "Ms." in greeting faculty and staff.

HeadMom
2 yearss ago

amyz5-I have to disagree with your assessment that this was a one-answer episode. In fact, there were several different options discussed here in how some families teach their kids to address adults. Ellen said her son calls adults by their first names but inserts the Mr and Mrs in front of them. Heather says while she was raised to call adults by sir or ma'am, her daughter calls adults by their first names. Dana was the only one who said she believes kids should address adults solely by Mr or Mrs. So to say that the ladies were "closed-minded" with a "cut and dried" answer is a misinterpretation of the facts.

kimchi mama
2 yearss ago

Do Your Kids Call Adults by Their First Names?

Showing the Latest of 38 Comments

Post new comment

Sponsored Links

Panelists

We Work With 40 Contributors Meet Them All

Express Yourself!

Momversation is the place where real women share personal insights into the issues that affect us.