How Do You Prepare for a Second Child?

For so long, your child has been the center of your world. There was no one to compete with his attention, no holiday where he wasn't doted upon, and no home video in which he wasn't a star. But now, a baby sister is on the way, and you can't quite figure out how to feel. Are you "cheating" on your child? Are you scared you won't have enough hands to take care of two kids? Or are you afraid that two kids means twice as much work (and you sleep a mere 5 hours a night as it is!). Guest Sarah Burns (OhanaMama to our Momversation members) joins the panelists as Heather Armstrong from Dooce asks, "How do you prepare for a second child?"

Did you mentally prepare for your second child? Or did you just dive in to parenthood again? Did you have mixed feelings about having another kid? Did you worry about your first born? Join the Momversation by taking our poll or commenting.

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Showing the Latest of 33 Comments

Michelle Heather
2 yearss ago

I just found out that I am pregnant with my second child. When they told me at the doctor's office I cried. Not because I don't want a child, but because I don't feel like I am ready. I absolutely adore my little girl and I am afraid of losing that love and affection for her. I grew up in a very UN-affectionate home where I never remember being hugged or kissed. I have made it my sole mission to ensure that my little girl is loved beyond measure and I am terrified that I will not be able to pursue those endeavors to the fullest. I never want her to feel like I am not there for her or that she is not as loved...Any help or suggestions/encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

Kiwi-Chickie
3 yearss ago

After watching this video I'm not as scared about maybe (even just thinking) having a 2nd... Being one of 7, I'm close to my siblings and I really want my little one to have someone like that for her. But Id like to enjoy her being 3 too.

Daphne
3 yearss ago

"The whole topic decreases your feeling of pride in American woman." wow, that's kind of rough. If this topic does that for you how do you feel with American's who rob, rape and kill? Good for you for holding down the fort in tough circumstances. But, why put woman down who talk about taking that leap from being in love with one child to two children? It's all relative.

HappyMommyx4
3 yearss ago

Come on gals, am I REALLY the only one who wanted to throw something at my monitor while watching this? When one of the gals said now she has as many hands as children, honest to God I threw up a little. I have four children that are 10, 9, 5, and 3. I am also a US Army wife with a husband who has been gone 3 years out of the past 5 years. Now remember I LOVE military life and am overwhelmingly proud of our service. But to hear mom's actually complain about TWO children when they have a husband who is at home just really makes me want to smack them. A word comes to mind that would not be polite to use in general conversation and is frequently used in relation to a cat. ;-) Really? We're getting worked up about TWO kids? And you have a husband at home? And you have grandparents that live in the same time zone who will actually give you a break? And if hubby goes away he is not getting shot at? AND you're complaining!? My God, that must be rough. I mean, I didn't complain once when I was alone with 3 kids or when I was pregnant with #4 and living a million miles from any single person who loves me. I didn't complain when when I was on bedrest in the hospital and my girl friends had to rally together to take care of my family. I was absolutely grateful to be able to have the baby and to have people willing to help me. And none of my friends complained when it was me holding their hand and seeing their little miracles come into this world instead of Daddy being there. I don't remember any of us asking how we would do it. We just did it! You are making me lose faith in women being the stronger of the species. I guess this is why my family and others like us make these sacrifices though, so everyone else can whine about having two children. I guess strong women really are a dying bread. This whole topic has really decreased my feeling of pride in American women.

SusieQue717
2 yearss ago

Well, as an American woman, I want to say to you that I am extremely impressed with you and what you have been able to accomplish, and the best part, to me, is that you have done it with what seems, a smile on your face! Hats off to you!! You are braver and stronger than most!

Yggdrasil
3 yearss ago

Aww, the relationship between siblings is just great. Me and my little brother are a year and a half apart (my Mom was still breastfeeding me when she got pregnant with him) and we are the closest siblings in my family. We have always gotten along, always, and we're still painfully close. I know you're not supposed to have favorites, but out of my five siblings he's my favorite and I'm his. There was definitely hand holding during our childhood, and me defending him from the neighborhood bullies and looking out for him and pushing him on swings and letting him finish my desserts. I'm so glad I got a younger sibling.

kharrington
3 yearss ago

I was so pleased to see some positive commentary on having a second child. We have several friends who have recently added a second child to the mix and each family is rife with "issues". I think the difference in age makes a big difference. It gives me hope and makes me smile when you talk about the kids holding hands - as we start discussing adding a second child to our family, that is the imagery that propels me toward a resounding, yes!

emykate03
3 yearss ago

I am never happier than when my three babies are laughing together. On the other hand, I want to yank my hair out of my head when they are all having troubles at the same time. My older two (boy=5 and girl=almost 4) have been saying that they are best friends. I wrote a little about it here: http://homespunlight.blogspot.com/2009/04/happiness-is_30.html Seriously. Nothing makes me happier.

childandcrazy
3 yearss ago

Sarah@Ohana Mama
3 yearss ago

I had to leave a comment since all of us seemed to leave the impression that two is easier than 1. That is not necessarily true with me. The process of having child #2 WAS easier - and knowing what to do when anything came up, all that was much much easier. I was more laid back and just knew not to freak out and what to really take mental notes of. Things pass so quickly so now I recognize when I need to chill out and really take it all in. (oh and I added a tad bit more about my story on my site if you want to check it out... http://theohanamama.com/2009/05/the-ohana-mama-chats-with-the-chicks-ove... ) BUT, now that my daughter is almost 20 months, starting to talk, can take her brother's toys etc etc. I am going a tad bit bizurk with two! THIS is the part that is more difficult to me. Being a referee without favoring one over the other - mostly my daughter. Because she is younger and still learning, we tend to let her "get away" with things more or make my son share more than her, just because he understands (or seems to) better. But yesterday I was having a day of freak outs from both kids (and in turn, ME!) and I had to let you all know that yeah, it was easier for me the second time around - labor all of that - but it's NOW, as they get older, that is killing me and making me earn my mommy badge. Any tips on how to handle two sibs as they get older?!

How Do You Prepare for a Second Child?

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