Public Bathroom: When Should Your Kids Go Alone?

You're out running errands with your little boy when he says, "Mama, I have to go to the potty." He's 6. It's a public bathroom in the mall. Do you a). Take him with you into the women's room or b). let him go into the men's room by (dum-dum-dum!) himself? When is the right time to cut the apron strings (so to speak) and let your child take care of his business alone? Dana Loesch of Mamalogues asks, "When is it OK for kids to use the public bathroom alone?"

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MeganH
11 months ago

I do still bring my 7 yo son in to the restroom with me. I would probably be willing to try some of the suggestions posted for letting him go in to the mens room soon. For me, it can be more embarrassing for me "going" while he is in the stall with me. I have never had him turn around while I was on the toilet, but have always been uncomfortable with someone watching me while I'm pushing a #2 out, even my son.

brokennocence30
1 years ago

Not sure how I ended up on this random post, and site for that matter. But If I can in someone help another young guy avoid many years of guilt, shame, confusion concerning sexual identity,negative self images, and possible loss of lift then I urge all parents to NEVER let their young son use a public restroom alone. When I was 12 I first discovered what can take place in a mens restroom. I was at the mall with my mother and sisters and had to go so I went to the restroom by myself and stood at the urinal to take care of business. I noticed a middle aged man a urinal a part from myself looking over at me and then showing me his erect adult male penis. Being 12 and full of hormones and curiosity and overwhelmed with excitement of a very new experience I allowed the man to touch me. I new that it was wrong but the excitement of my first somewhat sexual encounter was exhilirating. This one experience was the catalyst for me seeking out this type of behavior and living somewhat of a double life all through my teen years, chasing that initial rush I felt in other public restrooms, and putting myself into some rather dangerous situations. The shame , guilt, and disgusting feelings towards myself that followed each of my experiences and the dark dirty secret that I carried was nearly unbareable. The thought of anyone even those closest to me discovering my secret had me contemplating suicide on a daily basis. Im very lucky I am not diseased or dead. I allowed grown men, to service me when I was 12-19 years old. Somehow through out these years, I was able to disassociate all emotions and even myself from the reality of what I was doing. Im 30 now, and still deal with this issue nearly everyday. Could definately benefit from therapy or counselling, but have found some relief from being able to open up to few close friends. Anyway I hope this may help someone in some sort of way..

The Moxie Report
1 years ago

There's no way in hell I will let me kid go to the bathroom alone until she is a teenager. And I'd say the same thing if she was a boy. As a mom of a nearly 4-year-old and a TV producer who's done countless crime stories about predators. That's the last place you should leave your kid alone. So, Dana you are spot on!

JessicaGottlieb
1 years ago

That's what I think might be the problem. as a TV producer you're dealing with 1%, wouldn't it be more practical to deal with 99% and teach your child to be self assured and empower them?

chocoholicnut
2 yearss ago

Hey mommas, I think we all agree the safety of our kids comes first, frowning disapproving looks be damned! If we're someplace where the mens restroom is usually empty, I'll prop open the door and call out to see if anyone is in there. If it is empty, my 7 year old son goes in and confirms that he is in there alone before doing his business while I stand guard outside. If another guy is inside, I stand there with the door propped open just enough that I can talk with my son without actually LOOKING in (so the guy inside knows there's a vigilant mom RIGHT THERE). If we're at the mall or someplace busy/crowded/with multiple entrances then my son comes with me into the womens restroom. Yes, he would prefer to use the mens room, but understands that since I can't go in there with him, he has to come in with me. When he was younger, I'd make him use the potty right before leaving the house and again before going to the check-out to prevent that awful dilemma meplus3 found herself in. When at the mall, if we happen to be near one of the "nice" department store restrooms with no line, I encourage him to try. He dislikes waiting in line so usually doesn't mind and most times, he is able to get his business done. Much less stressful for everyone when it works out that way!

mamaferchie
2 yearss ago

I am the mother of a 7 year old boy and a 3 year old girl, with one on the way (sex unknown). I do and will continue to take my son to the bathroom with me and the only people who I have ever had issues with are people without children and i always nicely tell them that they can call me and apologize when they have children of their own!!!!! My son is never left standing there to stare and he is always in the stall with me and as much as he says he is a boy not a girl my feelings on the subject will not change, I'm not sure when I'll allow him yo use the restroom by himself but for now and the forseeable future he will join me!!!!

theolesarge
2 yearss ago

Hey girls...sorry to interrupt...but I got here because I was watching Dana duke it out w/chris Matthews...she was good then on her mommalouges turned to the topic of getting her boys into the mens room... I have to step up..I am a 71 yr old granpaw..(oldest grand daughter is 27 youngest grandson is 15). FIRST .... long ago i learned NEVER to get in the way of a mother's thinking and reaction to the world when it comes to her kids....Mom's have a special wiring....it's for a purpose... Happy Mother's Day to all you moms .... you are great....keep on raising the next president of the USA and the next whatever... we need GREAT mom's.... We need GREAT dad's too but that must be another blog...OK here we go...my dad (maybe this was a dream) had me in the Penna station bathroom... I must have been 7 or 8...and he told me there were jerks/queers...not sure what word he used...but I got the drift that they were bad...so I was to go in there...not look around....do my business zip up and get out.... he never said wash your hands...so that didn't come along until much later...and then it was intermittent....now I wash (ABCDEFG...) all the time....But MOSTLY... I still do what my dad told me to do...I don't look around....OK back when I was younger in my teens etc...maybe in my twenties... I did peek at the next guy's thing...just curiousity...but I always felt guilty ..... but to be clear as I travel up and down the east coast now... and visit the men's rooms ..... I don't see a problem... and belive me...I don't make a thing about it....but I am very observant about what is going on....and what is going on MOM's is pretty much everyone .....all ages... does what my dad taught me long ago....and I practice today. Using the stalls for a young boy is OK...if it keeps his modesty intact...that's OK... but one of these days he has to MAN-Up Step up the the urinal...open up ....flip it out an pee...AND NOT LOOK AROUND...just go ahead and PEE...shake it off ... put it back... don't wiz on yourself... although sometimes that can't be avoided... zip up... THEN step away from the urinal...find a sink....get water and soap...lather up....(ABCDEFG...)....then find some paper towels...stay out of the way of men... going in and out... dry off... and leave...NO conversation w/ anyone.... and then when he comes out he should feel free to talk about whatever he saw in there w/his mom... but ladies....guys just do not talk about what goes on in the bath room like you do... but if you are nonchalont about what he shares....and it's no big deal...he might begin to share his experiencces... of course that applys to more than hitting the mens room on the NJTP... Just let him know that if anyone "bothers" him... to just come right out and you will be there.... he doesn't have to whistle... the area is not all that threatening....really....and believe me there are a lot of men in there grandpaws... dads.... and just guys who are looking out for your little man...and will MAN uP if some jerk makes a bad move. If it will help you...wait outside the restroom a few min...and size up the people going in...pick out a reasonable guy...dad...w/his boy...and say...Hey could you watch out for my son while you are in there... he knows what to do...You will get a "Sure" or "of course".... and your son will be "delivered" with a smile...I had to do similiar when I had my granddaughter out on dates... when she was 8-9....it was alwayst rough on me....so I get the whole converstaion...God Bless you ladies for your intensity...and willingness to talk about this age old subject... Happy Mother's DAY...

KimChee
2 yearss ago

I think it's simple: The possibility of molestation and/or death trumps social discomfort in the ladies restroom. There isn't a hissy fit big enough that it should make any mother consider sending her child anywhere she isn't sure he is safe. And shame on any grown woman who would pressure you to do so. But just a tip for those of you who are ready to take that plunge: Make the boys whistle. As long as you can hear them whistle, they're okay. Just let them know, if they stop for one second, your coming in. Believe me, they will whistle loud and hardy.

sonja_jarmon@ya...
2 yearss ago

My son is 3yrs old and of course I take him to the bathroom with me. I will probably take him up to 9 yrs old because I don't feel safe with him alone. If a women has a challenge with a child in the bathroom she needs to get real. Mother's have to go and we take our children. It's not like my son is crawling under the stall to sneak a peek. But simple answer to the question, if the place you are at has a "family bathroom" take your little guy with you in there. But long story short he is going to the bathroom with me. Please just look away and relax.

sarah abd
2 yearss ago

My son is 12 and i bring him into the ladies room with me all the time just to be safe cause 1 time when he was 9 some teenagers dunked his head in the toilet so i always bring him with me and he does feel akward and embarassed and a couple times i seen girls his age teasing him in there but better safe then sorry.

Public Bathroom: When Should Your Kids Go Alone?

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